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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told parents

46 replies

wuckfit · 19/05/2014 20:29

driving down a road today, girl of about 8 was riding her bike no helmet on, rode straight out infront of me I had to swerve. I cpuld of easily knocked her over or had a head on collision with another car.

so I stopped and asked her where she lived and how she should be wearing a helmet and not be cycling on a busy road.

got to parents house and was met with quite defensive attitude about how I should be minding my own business.

so was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
mimishimmi · 19/05/2014 23:11

It's illegal not to wear one here in Australia.

Pumpkinpositive · 20/05/2014 07:25

The main issue is that she was cycling dangerously and you were perfectly entitled to advise the parents of that. You'd think any parent would prefer a nod that their kid needs some road safety lessons to having to go identify their body in the morgue.

The helmet issue is less straightforward. It's not mandatory and as someone else pointed out, did you complain about the lack (if indeed there was a lack) of shin/elbow guards and high vis?

ExCinnamon · 20/05/2014 07:35

YNBU

It could have been police knocking on the door telling the parents their little girl was badly injured due to not wearing a helmet.

I don't think it will make the parents start thinking though.

Icimoi · 20/05/2014 08:02

Obviously it is your business. If you had knocked her over and she had hit her head and died, you would have had to live with that every day of your life irrespective of the fact that it would not have been your fault.

80sMum · 20/05/2014 08:15

If someone is cycling dangerously on the road, endangering themselves and other road users, then it's everyone's business! Personally, I think all cyclists should have to pass a minimum standard of competence and protective, high visibility clothing and a helmet should be compulsory.
If I were you, I would let the police know about this child and the parents' attitude. Just dial 101. They may have taken no notice of you, but maybe a visit from a road safety officer might make them see sense.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/05/2014 08:19

I'm just surprised that a child gave out her address to a stranger on the street.

I would have just given her a ticking off personally but I can see that you must've been shook up.

Hope you're ok op. These things can really rattle you

Koothrapanties · 20/05/2014 08:45

Yanbu to be upset that you nearly hit a child, but I don't think I would have gone to her home in your situation. Unfortunately, if her parents don't care enough to ensure she is wearing a helmet, you telling them isn't going to change anything. Sad, but true.

On another note, I really don't understand why we don't have a law for this. So many lives could be saved. The roads are only getting more dangerous, it seems mad that it isn't a legal requirement of being on the road.

Nomama · 20/05/2014 09:59

I love the idea that we are all supposed to live in an anonymous bubble and cannot, under any circumstances, know where anyone other than ourselves might actually live!

Stranger danger isn't as prevalent as the meeja makes it out to be yet we continue to castigate caring people for trying to be good people. And we terrify our kids at he same time. No wonder they all prefer to play with machines, people are too scary!

Crinkle77 · 20/05/2014 11:05

I would have said something to the child but I thiny YABu to go to the parents house and berate them on their parenting.

Original poster
wuckfit · 20/05/2014 12:01

I was making them aware how dangerous there child was on her bike, it's a small village with a busy road. Im sure I would want to know if my son was putting himself and others at risk of serious injury. if I had of knocked her over it would then become my fault.

OP posts:
PartyGateCrasher · 20/05/2014 14:39

YANBU

I recently sold an old bike of my DD to a school mum friend. I also gave her for free, the helmet and pads.

Pictures on FB that evening showed her DD riding happily around the road - without the helmet.

Helmets are incredibly important. I know this as both a Motorcycle rider and a push bike rider. My DD is never allowed on her bike without her lid on.

TillyTellTale · 20/05/2014 15:38

The child rode out straight in front of a car, and the driver had to swerve. Her parents needed to know that.

YANBU

sleepyhead · 20/05/2014 15:45

YANBU. Exactly how is giving out her address to a stranger more dangerous than riding straight out into the road in front of a car Hmm?

What nefarious act was the op going to commit with this information, however unlikely? If the op had told her to get into the car then that would have been different obv, but asking for her address and then going to let her parents know that she's clearly not as road savvy as they thought she was, nah I can't get outraged by that completely reasonable act.

Babesh · 20/05/2014 16:01

I would be relatively delighted if you told me that my child had nearly just killed themself whilst cycling dangerously. I could have been happy in the belief they were cycling safely and I would rather hear otherwise from a stranger rather than their accident.

Stranger danger versus head injury/death - no contest it's the latter that are the more real risks.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/05/2014 16:06

TBH sleepyI don't know Blush It just seemed like quite a lot of info to just give out to a stranger but I hadn't really thought through what the consequences might be? I'm a twonk! Grin

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/05/2014 16:09

If someone knocked on my door in the same situation,the only response from me would be thank you so much for telling me

BitOutOfPractice · 20/05/2014 16:10

Mine too.

But bitter experience has taught me that not all parents are so reasonable

Topaz25 · 20/05/2014 16:46

I see a lot of kids riding bikes without helmets around here. I think the parents know and just don't care. I can see why you told her parents because she nearly caused an accident and it was a good idea to see her safely home but sadly they may not be as sensible.

BreakingDad77 · 20/05/2014 16:55

They shouldn't have been on the road, are there no cycle paths?

Youngsters should wear them and other protective equip due to under-developed dexterity etc

Though as an adult cyclist you need to balance the added protection they give should you be in an accident, against the increased chance of an accident as cars drive closer to people with helmets on than without.

www.vox.com/2014/5/16/5720762/stop-forcing-people-to-wear-bike-helmets

GoblinLittleOwl · 20/05/2014 17:59

If you had hit the girl it would have been regarded as your fault, irrespective of dangerous cycling, and you would have been held responsible. You have every right to tell the child's parents; she was behaving dangerously on the public highway. It is a great pity more people don't inform parents of their children's irresponsible behaviour, but I can see why, judging by the response to this post.

HannerHet · 20/05/2014 18:12

Yanbu, as a parent, I would have been glad to be told

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