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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To need help from you quickly.

46 replies

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 20:16

My lovely 7 month old nephew is here for the night. 1st time I've looked after him. His mum and dad are out for the night.

I have 3 children, youngest is 6. Surely I can't have forgotten it all already.

My nephew hasn't stopped crying hysterically. I've tried to feed him the food she left, tried the expressed bottle. I've cuddled him. I've gently bounced him. I've sung to him. I've rocked him in his pushchair.

I really want this evening to go well as I really want them to allow me to spend more time with him.

He's filling himself up with air from all the crying. Farting like a trooper.

Help. What can I do.

I am not going to phone and spoil their night out.

OP posts:

duckyneedsaclean · 19/05/2014 20:38

YouTube video of twinkle twinkle, the first one that comes up, with an owl in it.

Nutellanutellanutella · 19/05/2014 20:40

"YouTube video of twinkle twinkle, the first one that comes up, with an owl in it."
Ha! That's so funny, this is our go to video for a very upset baby. It never fails.

OP, do call his mum though.

mrstigs · 19/05/2014 20:41

I would ring the parents. Tell them you arnt demanding they come home but just giving them the info incase they want to act on it. Then continue with the cuddling and walking maybe. If he's missing his mum he will need a cuddle poor love.
You are doing a great job, don't feel disheartened. It's nothing personal.

greenbananas · 19/05/2014 20:41

Yes, call her. You may have managed to settle him by the time she arrives, in which case you will have passed the test with flying colours. If not, you will still have passed because you called her. Poor little mite, only mummy will do when you are only 7 months old and breastfed. Have you tried music? Have you got a sling? Good luck! !!

lunar1 · 19/05/2014 20:44

Call his parents. Why is it so important to pass this test? It seems more important that you get to keep him than his comfort.

Original poster

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 20:45

Ok. We have moved to the garden. He is quiet but wide awake and sucking his fingers. Still not eaten anything. He is watching a neighbours cat walk around our fence. And looking at his toys.

He is breast fed but mum expresses to bottle every now and then.

He doesn't know me or our home well. If my dh were home I would have gone to them.

OP posts:

ineedsomeinspiration · 19/05/2014 20:47

My ds would not have taken an expressed bottle of milk at 7 months( or ever ).

Is baby ever left with anyone else?

I would suggest might be an idea in the future for mum to leave something of hers.

Could he be too hot?

Could you walk up and down the garden with the pushchair.

Hope babies settled better now. I'm sure you'll be allowed him again but if he really won't settle then call or text his mum. If it's the first time she's left him she's probably on red alert anyway.

Original poster

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 20:47

Bed time is 9 but I can't imagine he will sleep without food. He is lovely, he is talking to me at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 20:48

He is with mum 98 percent of the time. He just is out of his comfort zone.

OP posts:

ineedsomeinspiration · 19/05/2014 20:50

Sorry cross posts there. Have you tried giving him milk now he's settled a bit. You could try giving him some from a spoon if he won't take the bottle.

My ds used to love a bath if unsettled or a bit of time with his nappy off on his changing mat.

nilbyname · 19/05/2014 20:51

Glad he has settled down, will he take the bottle now? Is he weaning, could you give him some wedges of pear/cucumber/avocado to gnaw on?

Stressful! Poor you!

GeneralGrevious · 19/05/2014 20:51

If he's stopped crying that is something maybe he will get sleepy and might take the bottle ?

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 19/05/2014 20:53

So call them and tell them he's been crying for a good half hour.
Don't really understand why you're so keen to look after a bf baby for an extended period; that'd be my worst nightmare.
(Fed my three for a total of five years).

greenbananas · 19/05/2014 21:02

Glad he is more settled. Sounds like it may be okay now.

I would still let them know what is going on - maybe text to say he cried for a bit but is now happy in the garden.

I'm a childminder, and took a friend's baby when she reluctantly went back to work. .. She really appreciated updates about how he was getting on.

greenbananas · 19/05/2014 21:07

Just want to say, to counter some slightly negative feedback on this thread, that you do seem to care very much about how the baby is feeling, and have tried really hard to settle him. Am impressed with your success. Going into the garden was a great idea - most babies and children love being outside - and the neighbour's cat is a godsend.

Original poster

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 21:31

He settled enough for me to feed him his very runny food, quite a lot of it. He was happy so I took him in, lay him on the floor, changed him to pjs and blowed raspberries on him etc. I thought he was happy enough for milk bottle, I was wrong. He started to cry again. I immediately put him in his push chair with a blanket and pushed him back and forth in a dark lounge.

I'm in the garden now and can't hear tears. I'm hoping he will sleep now.

I do see what you mean by it being all me me me rather than nephew. I don't mean it like that. I want them to trust me, even though I know it is hard work

OP posts:

puntasticusername · 19/05/2014 21:40

Glad he seems to be settling and you managed to get some food into him! Under the circumstances (his age, bf, hardly ever away from mum before) I think you've done amazingly well to get him anything like content. That was a BIG ask.

Original poster

stivesholiday · 19/05/2014 21:49

I am his auntie. I would help out whenever I could. They just don't ask.

OP posts:

puntasticusername · 19/05/2014 21:51

Yeah, I think I understand why you are so keen for tonight to go well - and I can see it's not all about you, though tbh I do understand why some posters got that impression from what you wrote.

StarGazeyPond · 19/05/2014 22:21

If I knew you'd let him get really upset without calling me I'd be less likely to leave him again.

What a bloody awful thing to say.

ChazzerChaser · 19/05/2014 22:25

Why awful? It's true. The bit I posted after that you forgot to quote made it clear that was my feeling rather than a universal experience, although clearly not an unusual one given the following posts.

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