to really want a third...

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

We have a 2yo and a 5mo. Before dd2 was born i never imagined wanting more than two kids. And dd1 was an ordeal, difficult baby plus pnd and anxiety, i always viewed these early months with dd2 as something to get through in order to have my ideal family. But it has been such a different experience, partly knowing what im doing, part medication, partly a lower maintenance putdownable baby. But i have been clucky since the day after she was born, and she is growing up so fast.

i guess what i would like to know is whether any of you had a third and secretly regret not sticking at two (not implying you wouldn't love the third, just that life might be easier with two). Or if you had a third and wouldn't change that for all the world?

The jump from 1-2 kids is far harder than 2-3. I wouldn't change having three for the world, my last baby was such a joy. I don't think I want 4 though...

That's good, i thought i had read somewhere that the third was a harder step change. I cant imagine i would ever want four, but then i never thought i would want three!

Dd14 Ds 11 dd2
Three is the best thing ever ( not for the planet mind!)

I've seen many marriages breakup a few years after the third baby.

Three under 5 years is hard work and a strain on your body, sanity and relationship.

Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear.

Not enough hands, need a new car, holidays all assume 2 kids.
Does that help? :o

I have two, but we all had tonsillitis a few weeks back. It was a truly awful time. I don't want to know how bad that would have been with three.

No, i do want to hear both sides. I think hormonally/emotionally i don't want this to be my last, but can see that obviously the practicalities are easier with two. Certainly when they are both screaming at bath time i am not thinking if only i could add a four year old into the mix! But then i have an irrational envy of all my pregnant friends.

I have envy of pregnant friends, but I quite liked the pregnant part. And it's something to look forward to, and people make a fuss of you - but less with each baby! And I like maternity clothes because I'm fat. . I know I don't really want a third though. Probably. :o

Three is fab.

The thing about not having enough hands is a myth btw.

For me the biggest decision was going from two children to three. I always knew I wanted two and thought that I would probably want a third afterwards.

When my second child was a few months old I knew for sure I would want a third, as I thought about one constantly. I still considered long and hard about it, though I am really glad we did it. My youngest is now 11. I have never hankered after any more though.

Ah we had 2 under 3 and 10 years later had another 2 under 3..

So we now have 2 lads 23.22 and 2 girls 15,14..

It's great. It was expensive but great.

I do think with your youngest only 5 months it could be the hormones talking.

Get reliable contraction for the next year / 18 months and then think again would be my advice. I'm jealous of pregnant friends too and like the idea of a third. But on balance I think I'll stick with two :)

I found 2-3 far harder than 1-2 (I preferred having two to having one, various reasons, practically trickier, emotionally easier). I still find having 3 much more of a challenge but personalities and temperaments have played a big part, for the first 18m or so of dd2's life ds was harder work than 2yo dd1 and newborn dd2 put together.

There have definitely been times when I wish we had stuck at 2 and the thing about not having enough hands is completely and utterly not a myth at all in our household

I'm still not over babies/pregnancy either, even though I'm close to 100% sure I don't actually want any more of them.

We always wanted 3 and DC3 is 6mths now. She definitely completed the family for us!

It is hectic looking after 3 (eldest is in Reception) and we had a slightly longer age gap between the second and third - 3yrs rather than 2, which was a good move for us. We love it but it is hard work!

I'm snuggling my 2 week old dc3 so I would say go for it :o I wouldn't change it for the world. I found 1-2 hard hard going and this time has been soooo much easier. Mind you ds2 is an absolute ray of sunshine - I have a baby that rarely rarely cries, I think it could be a different kettle of fish if I had colicky, refluxy dc2 instead!

I also have a smaller age gap this time, (22m instead of 3yrs) and its fine. Seeing dc1&2 loving their brother is just amazing :)

Having three is lovely and I love it. Certainly not easy all of the time but is it ever with children?

One for mum, one for dad, and one for the country!

I have 5... feel sorry for people with smaller families!

My oldest was 3 when dc 3 was born. It was very difficult. Only slightly easier now the eldest 2 are in school. I found 2-3 much harder than 1-2 tbh.

I always wanted 3 but after an absolutely horrendous pregnancy and near death experience EMCS I changed my mind. My second baby is 8 weeks and juggling a newborn and a 23 month old has been totally exhausting physically & emotionally and frankly it's the best contraception ever. I'm definitively stopping at 2!

Oh and, all the people who said having a newborn & toddler is easier than being pregnant & having a toddler must be high.