My friend lost her mother last year, they were very close. I think she is quite low and anxious. She seems to me quite paranoid and suspicious a lot of the time. English is not her first language though she's been here for years. Anyway she has quite a rocky friendship with this other couple who I don't really know that well. They are very different from her and I think they are only friends because their kids are friends. She gets on better with the husband as they talk about football etc etc and the wife blows very hot and cold.
For the past 18 months (before her mum died) she is constantly obsessing about texts they send and things they put on Facebook and how she should reply. I have been supportive of this and suggested responses originally and more recently when she has been saying she doesn't like these people, have suggested letting things cool off with them. I have had enough. I don't think if someone doesn't reply to your text they are blanking you necessarily or that you must then spend ages speculating how you may have upset them, which is what she was doing yesterday. I ended up saying I didn't want to talk about them any more, I thought she was getting obsessed, I was worried about her, she should try and think about other things. Cue very angry response and I'm patronizing her.
I actually think it's fine to say 'I don't have anything new to say about your friends, let's not talk about them anymore' . Maybe I am patronizing her. Other things she has said makes me think she is quite down (not looking forward to holiday etc) but I don't know what to do.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression and I have been where she is so I try to support her with that in mind. I just don't know where we go from here.
Thanks