Im sorry for the terminology. I do think 'dump' is a bit brutal a word. Id really like some opinions on a situation. I used to work with a girl for 6 months in 2007, it was just the two of us really and we got on like a house on fire. I really enjoyed working with her. Although I had reservations about the friendship like she would keep me separate from her social life and didn't invite me to her 30th, and literally all conversations would be very about herself, didn't matter what we talked about there would be a lot of one upmanship. Which I kind of accepted as we did have a good time together and I had a very strong social circle too (which I often included her in).
When she left our company she tried to take with her my only client which brought in a LOT of money. Its what was keeping the company afloat and me in a job. She denied it but I was sat with the client who showed me her emails. I actually was happy to reason this away by the possibility she was being put under pressure in her new company. She tried to make it up to me but cancelled or stood me up in bars no less than 6 times. The friendship went quiet but I remained cordial if she emailed.
Suddenly she got very active on the email again being all friendly. Not too long later whilst we were both on maternity leave I find out she's trying to get her old job back, knowing full well there would only be one position open, mine. I was confident I wouldn't be outed for her but that really really hurt and I felt her false attempts at reaching out with very self serving. I later found out she was pushing for us to job share. Which I actually would have, just not with her.
In the end I took the leap and sent a really nice polite email explaining why I couldn't be friends but wishing her new family all the best of luck. And I meant it. I know she's not an evil person but well, I was done with the friendship. And I was frankly relieved when she moved away from the area.
She sent me nasty emails or groveling ones for the next 6 years very jekyll and hide, always timed on my birthday or anniversaries. Maybe not on purpose but I have literally had every event overshadowed by having her on my mind.
She's now back in the area. And desperate to be friends again. Its literally become like she's my stalker, even my old company are shocked at her behaviour. And frankly a lack of pride. I haven't replied to one email or letter in 6 years since telling her the friendship was effectively over. It might have actually had the chance to repair itself if shed just given me some space but now Im very bitter about the constant unwanted contact too.
If you've made it this far, thank you. I just don't want to be friends with her. But I am also not in the business of upsetting people either. How can I handle this? Ive had 3 kids in 3 years. Im emotionally tired and fragile and every little contact is properly like a black cloud over my day. Lately Ive felt like I must have postnatal depression. I have a circle of lovely friends. The kids schedules are full, and even if I get the time to go out and socialize, there are tens of people Id want to see over a glass of wine first.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I be giving her a chance? Or has she had her chance and blown it and really is behaving unacceptably as my instinct tells me.
I know this isn't a big problem to a lot of you lovely ladies, but it really is on my mind a lot at the moment and I could do with a soundboard. Thank you.