Going through my clothes

[LiquidSilk]

Context: I'm moving in with my partner in month. About 3/4 of my possessions are now at his as we take a car load every time we visit each other. He was at mine this weekend and his parents spend the weekend at his to do some walking and sightseeing (he lives in a scenic location and they tend to use his house when he's away to have a break from the city.) I have no issues with this. What I am pissed off about is in addition to the normal cleaning and hoovering his mum does (she can't help herself) it seems she had been through all my drawers and folded my clothes. Which on the one hand is a nice thing to do as they were all just shoved in there waiting to be sorted when I got time, but on the other hand seems a massive invasion of privacy. She will have seen all my lingerie etc as well as 'normal' clothes. I'm seriously unamused. AIBU?

Just to add I do really like her and get on well with her normally!

Forget it then, she probably saw it as a nice way to welcome you and show you she is happy you are moving in with her son. It's not a biggie

Yanbu. Over stepping the boundary and way too over familiar. I'm sure the gesture came from a good place but it's not a great way to try and settle you in. Suggest your DP has a quiet word about it to her if he can. It's your patch now too; which she may not like but tough cahunas.

Yabu to move in with him if you have a problem with his mother being this involved in his domestic life without talking about it first don't you think? Clearly he thinks it us the norm and she just wanted to be nice, I think you need to put the breaks on until you have a chance to talk about what you both expect her involvement with your new home to be...

Hmmm I can understand you feeling your privacy has been a bit violated, but at the same time I think i understand her intentions and I guess no harm was done really? Was there? Unless you kept various dildos and other interesting paraphernalia in with your clothes
I would say just let it slide if you can- and get her back later

Haha! No sex toys thank goodness. Yes she is well meaning - I think I'm just very used to being independent! My partner immediately told her that she shouldn't have done it and not to do it again in future so fingers crossed!!

Will they be staying over once you've moved in?

Can you give her my address as I have cupboards she must be itching to fold and sort for me.

I'd love that.
I have to pay someone to do it.

Dh and I lived with my parents for 6 months years ago. My mum would go into our room in the morning when we'd gone to work and clean it, and would also wash clothes, put dh's pants and socks away, have a tidy and put bits back in our drawers/cupboards etc. It was massively invasive and used to drive dh mental but she meant well.

Once, we were going out for food so left at 5pm. Went to friends house and were then on our way to a restaurant at about 6pm when dh decided to pop home quickly as he wanted a jacket he'd decided not to wear. He'd left his jacket dumped on a chair...when he got to our room the jacket had been washed and was hanging up to dry...in the space of an hour! He used to moan about the fact he couldn't put something down for ten seconds without my mother washing it! It was meant in a nice way though.