AIBU regarding my ex

[ItsMyFuckingWedding]

The court have ordered supervised visitation only. He hasn't seen the kids since 7th of December.
Today he emailed saying he will see them but I have to pay half of the fees for the centre.

As to not drip feed he earns a lot so finances are not a problem.

I emailed back saying 'no, this is not up for discussion so please do not email about this again'

no that's fair enough.

I take it he's a controlling twat clutching at the fringes?

How does the payment thing usually work? Is it the idea that the person visiting has to pay, or did the court order deal with it?

That's a pretty accurate description. Claims the girls are his life and I'm evil of course

Icomoi- the parent that is visiting the centre is the one that pays

Well, it's quite straightforward then, he pays or he doesn't see the girls who are "his life".

Exactly. But even now years on I still second guess myself and wonder if I am being unreasonable

His contact, he should pay

no you aren't.. just do a little chuckle in his head at how much control he thinks he has left.. its quite sad really.

Balls in his court, does he want to see them or not? It's pretty black and white.

*your head rather

What a twat! So he can turn around and say you were unhelpful probably

If he wants to see his children, then he has to follow the court order.

Tbh I would be going back to court to change it to indirect contact.

5 months with out any contact is a long time.

Does it not form part of the directions that he pays for contact centre fees? All the family court cases I've been involved in, that's been specified.

And no, YANBU.

He wouldn't have contact ordered by the court in a contact centre if there wasn't a good reason, and that reason is his responsibility. Therefore, morally as well as for every other reason, he pays.

Unless you have been ordered by the court to fund it then don't

Thank you all. I know I'm in. The right but he Still has a way if making me feel like I'm wrong. I'm not sure if the directions specify. I'll check

It is presumably his behaviour that has made him only see them in a contact centre. Therefore, it is perfectly logical that he should be the one who has to pay, in every sense of the word.

All these posts about him and you and how you should reduce contact more. Ask yourself, what about the best thing for the children. Wouldn't they like to see him. Honestly. When they are older and ask about this will you say you encouraged them to have a relationship or not? This is so not about him and you and who has supremacy.

Rosh - what do you mean? Thefact he is in a contact centre surely shows he is not good for them?

He is an abusive man who thinks nothing of assaulting me in front of the children- how can that be good for them?

The court has ordered a psychiatric assessment on him. I always put my children first and myself last. This is NOT the best thing for them

YANBU

Op.

You always get a few on threads like this who think just anybody can get a place at a cc at the click of their fingers with no reason at all,ignore it.

You have just answered your own question very well

YANBU at all. He is putting up barriers to seeing his kids rather than making every effort possible. Sad.

Thank you.

I'm feeling very frustrated