am I really?!

[harriet247]

Okay me and dd (1) are both ridiculously full of cold, shes whingy and snotty and refusing food. I feel like ive been kicked in the head by a horse.
Yesterday dp was working but finished at 4, lots of things were said about how he would sort tea and dd qhen he got in and not to worry about housework etc. Nothing git done, I made dinner after he decided he actually needed a bath, and I settled dd to sleep.put wash on etc, then told me I was stressing him out hy doing stuff and he couldn't relax if I was cleaning
This morning he was apparently fast asleep when dd got up at 5. And eventually came down at 8 and told me I should have got him up.
Needless to say kitchen is still a fucking bombsite.
He asked if I was upset and I said yes because he hadnt done anything. He looked at me like I am stark raving mad/just kicked a puppy. Now hes been called in to work for a couple of hours.
Urgh.
Am I really nuts for expecting some help? Im not ever ill but really feel like crap :(

NBU. Go to bed now.

I would be specific about what you want him to do when he gets home.

His idea of you not worrying about chores could be you simply not doing them without any thought about how they will get done. DH has done this, told me not to worry and then they don't get done. I get upset and he just says "Well, don't do them then".

Obviously your idea of helping out, and his idea of helping out are different.

I would just be blunt with him. Do some work (and give him specific tasks like wash dishes, sweep, wash counters) before he relaxes. I'd be passive aggressive and cook only for DD and let him fend for himself

When he said not to worry about housework did he say that he'd do it. Or did he mean not to worry today, but with an unsaid thinking that you can catch up the next day?

YaNbu. Leave the mess and get some rest. Tell him that you are not feeling well and that he will be helping.

No, I don't think yabu to expect him to help. Does he usually help out ?
It does look like there has been a bit of miscommunication here though. If he thought he was off today maybe he wanted to clear up today instead of after work.

Hope you feel better soon btw.

Take yourself back to bed now.

I'm feeling exactly as you are only I'm lucky enough that my DH keeps barking at me to go and lay down despite him also being contaminated by lurgy.

Leave little one with her dad and get some sleep

Bollox, sorry for multiple posts. He should have helped out with dd. Why didn't he ?

I didnt consider that he might have meant for me to catch up later :(
I blame those stupid bastard boots adverts where the woman bravely soldiers on even though she's pale as death and sweating like a bugger.
He's usually alrightish. He doeant do much housework tbh but I'm usually on top of things so I dont think he really notices how much I do.

Well now is a good time for him to find out, he needs to pick up the slack if you're ill. It's not hard for him to put dd to bed, and have a quick tidy up in the kitchen when he gets home or when he gets up the next day.
I would be pretty pissed off if he had no intention of helping out at all.