To worry about my mums smoking.

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My parents were always quite heavy smokers. My dad passed away 11 years ago this year and there is not a day goes by I dont miss him.
Ive always noticed my mum smokes quite a bit but never realised how much until we recently went away on holiday.
My aunt and mum both tried giving something up for new year, my mum, while she didnt give up smoking, maintains that she has cut down a lot and only really smokes about a half dozen a day. I know this isnt true.
We recently went away on holiday and on the first day there she bought one of those packs of 200. 5 days in I couldnt find my hairbrush so she said I could grab hers out of her drawer. The 200 pack thing was open and there were 60 left.
I know when we are at home if we take her out anywhere, first thing she does is light up when we are outdoors.
I have mentioned in the past that I worry about her and shes just completely flown off the handle. My brother has also said he is worried about her and her response was "Ill stop smoking when you stop drinking". He goes out for a few beers after work on Friday with his colleagues. If he drank as much as she smoked he'd be dead.
I know shes an adult and theres nothing I can really do, but her health is already suffering (her legs randomly swell and her cholesterol is high). I just feel like shes killing herself and I cant bear the idea of one day telling my little boy that the grandma he idolises is no longer here.

No, of course YANBU to worry. In your position I would be saying to her exactly what is in your last sentence. However you need to remember it's an addiction and she may be defensive becauseï¼? physically, she just can't stop, so you need to offer her lots of support. Maybe point her to the smoking cessation threads on here? I used to smoke a bit (mostly in secret when stressed) and I found e-cigs were the best way to give up as you don't lose the comforting inhale/exhale sensation.

Of course her health is your main concern, but TBH the one thing that made me kick my pack-a-day habit was money! Unless she's quite wealthy she must be feeling the pinch financially? Ecigs/vaping are not only very, very effective for quitters but massively cheaper. Why not start a conversation along these lines? (You could use my "story" ... committed smoker for years, took up vaping at the same time as changing from FT employment to PT and not being any worse off because of the savings. Smug emoticon )

I also have a dad with copd on 24/7 oxygen who has just signed a do not resuscitate/end of life plan order as has he's had enough. He gave up smoking 28 years ago but it was too late, damage already done. I have a 10 year old son who has nightmares because he sees my dad and says he doesn't want to "grow old and suffer".

Unfortunately she's an adult and you can't make her give up. She is addicted and can only decide to give up if she wants to. She knows the health risks, the consequences, its unlikely you and your brother will say anything that she doesn't already know. Afraid you need to leave her to get on with it.
(She might be one of the lucky ones, my grandmother smoked 20+ a day and lived until 98, she was in her own home and 'healthy' until she was 94!)

Buy her an e cig? Get her a really decent one.

I haven't had a real cig in 6 weeks, my parents who were also heavy smokers now vape too.

My mother is 61 and a chain smoker on 20-30 pd.

She smokes in front of the DCs which I hate but she gets so defensive if challenged. (She doesn't believe in passive smoking)

She refuses to acknowledge she has a problem. She will make the drinking comment as above.
Or she says 'at least she's not fat' when she's on one of her anti fat people rants.

She is now retired on a low income but is still spending, I'm bit sure, £50-80??? Per week on cigarettes- she rolls her own into ones that look like real cigarettes to hide her cost saving.

If we talk to her about it she gets defensive and says ' you have to die of something' and shed ' rather go quickly than have dementia'.

Or she'll say that not all smokers get lung cancer and it's ' in your genes' (ex nurse)

She complains about lack of money but doesn't relate the two.

Her house smells and we all have to change our clothes when we return.

I think back to school- that my dry clean only uniform must have stank, no one ever said this to my face but it makes me feel very embarrassed thinking about it.

She is the only person I know who smokes like that. She doesn't get that she is in the minority and most people have tried to quit or cut down. She doesn't even try.

Going out anywhere revolves around cigarette breaks and she avoids air travel because she can't cope with not smoking for that long (airport then flight).

And,I know this is selfish, but I worry I might get lung cancer when in older, growing up in a smoke filled house.

I've had health problems which can be caused by parental smoking but she won't acknowledge this. (Of course she smoked all through pregnancy)

Some people say it should ban her from the DCs if she's smoking but this seems unfair.

weatherall I could have wrote that post about my mum. She doesnt smoke indoors when we visit with ds and if we are staying over she 'airs the house out' for a week before and doesnt smoke indoors but it still smells bad.
She will go on holiday but as soon as shes through passport control its...whoosh...outside for a cig break. Every outdoor trip is filled with them....I also understand your concerns about your own health and guiltily I have the same.
She has bought e cigs, either used it til it needed charging again or used the first liquid bit (I forget which), and then never bothered.
I think she saves money by bringing them back from hols and giving other family members the £ to do the same.