A bit of background, we live 45minutes from dp's family we have a ds who is 3 in two weeks.
Dp's mum and sister have visited twice on ds past two birthday and because dp's mum says she doesn't want to drive here dp has went and picked them up both times taking him away from ds on his birthdays which he wasn't happy about.
They expect us to visit every week, last year dp was in an accident that wrote of his car and we didn't find a new one for 3 months and had to travel on 2 buses to visit them even tho mil has access to her dads mobility car and he is happy for her to use it to visit but she won't.
This week sil asked us to look after dnephew we said yes but only if they could bring him here, they refused and got upset that we wouldn't drive up then take him back the following morning.
Also our ds had autism so when visiting them he gets up to alsorts and expect him to play with his cousin as they don't understand ds doesn't get the concept and is very into doing things on his own which lands all the adults having conversations about it and them thinking it's our fault he's not potty trained can't talk and just about everything else he does that his cousin does is our fault.
Anyway in two weeks we are having his 3rd birthday party and they expect dp to drive again but dp doesn't want to but he's also not got the backbone to tell them outright so will probably be talked into it, am I unreasonable in thinking if they don't come down on there own then that's not our problem.