Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be pissed off about this

10 replies

yorkie84 · 17/05/2014 20:00

Background. We have 3 boys aged 10, 8 and 21 months. I am virtually a sahm although I do run a small business very part time. Dh has history for treating family money as his. He has two relatively expensive hobbies. My hobby is inexpensive and when I wanted to take up another hobby which would cost about the same as his most expensive hobby I was told we can't afford it.
So we are due to go on holiday Saturday. However, it clashes with ds1 cub camp. I agreed to let dh take ds2 down on the Saturday so I could stay home and take ds2 to cub camp. I am happy to do this so he doesn't miss out. Dh wants to go down early to go to a festival that I will find boring so win win.
Whilst discuss ing the holiday dh asked me if I would mind him taking ds out for a restaurant meal. Of course I agreed. This was before he said we can't afford to eat out much so rest of the week we won't be eating out much.
Than he also said that if weather nice he will take ds 2 to a festival, theme park etc but when I come down with ds1 and 3 we will be doing simple cheap, local things.
Aibu to think this is taking the piss.

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 17/05/2014 20:03

I dont understand tbh. Surely he cant have just come out with it as blantantly as that? The he will do retaurants and festivals but you wont be allowed to?

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2014 20:10

Is DS2 the favoured child always?

yorkie84 · 17/05/2014 20:10

All done casually at separate times. Meal mentioned 1st. I happily agreed. Economy drive came after balancing accounts. Already knew about festival. We do have theme park season ticket so not as bad but would still need to buy food.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 17/05/2014 20:10

I think you need to sit down together and work out all your income, and then all your fixed outgoings, then have a look at what you are going to use the rest of your disposable income for.
Once you've factored in things for the dc (eg cub camps) , birthdays / Christmas, holidays, emergency fund for breakdowns / unexpected expenditure, then you will see how much is left for the 2 of you to split evenly for your own hobbies.

He also needs to have a think about treating the dc fairly - I think, fair enough if one is at cub camp the other can have some other treat (presuming the LO doesn't care at the moment), but there needs to be a balance.

yorkie84 · 17/05/2014 20:12

Ds2 is a homebody really and ds1 has a full social life which has previously impacted on holiday plans.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 17/05/2014 20:18

If I were in your situation (and I have experienced similar with exdp having one on one time with our ds's due to circumstances) I would let it happen on the condition that ds1 also gets the opportunity to enjoy those things alone with his Dad. And that money and time is made available for me to have one on one treats with my children as well.

yorkie84 · 18/05/2014 10:42

Tbf ds1 does do stuff with dh. He goes along to one of his hobbies.
I guess I am peeved that I don't get to do things like that with dc. When I suggested a gym pass which would include free swimming for me and dc it was dismissed yet its ok for him to spend same on football.

OP posts:
medic78 · 18/05/2014 16:11

Sounds like there is an imbalance with pur

medic78 · 18/05/2014 16:11

Sounds like there is an imbalance with finances. Have y

medic78 · 18/05/2014 16:12

Sorry tablet playing games. That was discussed finances.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page