I've known this friend since school. She's a nice person and I care about her but the problem is that she is a heavy drinker and it's hard to interest her in activities that don't involve drinking. I've tried inviting her to the cinema and she isn't interested. She prefers clubbing but I don't drink and only occasionally go clubbing nowadays, I feel like I've outgrown it TBH. When I invite her around to mine she usually gets drunk. I can't limit her drinking by limiting the amount of alcohol in the house, she'll just go out and buy more. A couple of months ago I invited her over for Sunday dinner, which isn't a big drinking occasion so I just provided a bottle of wine and some beer. She got through that without much help then went to the local shop to buy more!
Last night things came to a head when I had a party and invited her, things were going well until she got really drunk and upset. She has a very difficult situation with her housemate at the moment and everyone is sympathetic but she got upset about that and brought up a situation that happened months ago involving an altercation with this housemate and had a go at another friend for not standing up for her at the time. It was out of the blue and he was very upset when she called him “pathetic”, so it escalated into an argument. She also had a dig at her sister, who is going through a difficult breakup at the moment, calling her a “fucking parasite”. She's not like this normally, just when she's drunk.
It didn't really spoil the night, because it was in the wee small hours, the party was winding down anyway and some people had already left but it definitely soured the atmosphere. One thing that really annoyed me was when we were trying to be sympathetic she said we are all “sheltered” and can't understand what she is going through. That pissed me right off, we all have problems, we just don't all get drunk and cry about them at parties! I'm quite a positive person, not because I'm Pollyanna and my life is perfect but because I would get very depressed if I dwelled on the negatives, so I try not to. This reminds me of school, when we were both going through fairly severe depression but because I don't talk about my problems as much as her she assumed I didn't have any. (I felt like I couldn't get a word in edgeways TBH!)
Today she's posted a sort of apology on Facebook, saying she got a bit “narky” and blaming PMT. I haven't said anything because I don't want to add to the drama but I am considering not inviting her to future events because I don't want to be stressed and upset in my own home. However I don't want to hurt her feelings by excluding her and it would be awkward because we have mutual friends and I'm friends with her sister. I can't really confront her about her drinking because she gets upset. One of the things she was saying last night was that she feels like everyone is judging her so that would make things worse. I'm just really at the end of my tether. What should I do?