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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it ok to take a dc with chickenpox to the park?

50 replies

Mycathasflees · 17/05/2014 12:23

I was enjoying an ice cream with dds in the park yesterday when a mum turned around and told me that her dd has chickenpox. My dd was playing next to her in a little play area.

Of course I immediately called my dd back. Dd asked me why she had to stop playing so I said loudly that the other little girls had CP. The mother looked a bit annoyed about that (was I stigmatising her dd?)

Anyway, we are going away on holiday in a couple of weeks so cp is the last thing we need right now.

Was the other mum bu by taking her dd out and mix with other children albeit outdoors?

OP posts:
Aspiringhuman · 17/05/2014 16:01

It's never acceptable to knowingly take an infectious child out to anywhere public. It enrages me so much I can't face going into the reasons right now.

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2014 18:41

From the NHS website:

If you’re not immune to chickenpox, you can easily catch it through close contact with someone who has it, such as: face-to-face contact, for example, having a conversation with someone who has chickenpox, or being in the same room as someone who has chickenpox for at least 15 minutes This is because the virus can spread through the air, in tiny droplets from an infected person. Chickenpox can also be passed on by contact with the blisters that are caused by chickenpox and shingles.

Hope they weren't too close, OP...

Treeceratops · 17/05/2014 20:17

She was BU. I once had a total numpty client pop in to see me with his poxy DD, which meant I couldn't meet my newborn nephew until I definitely didn't have it. Grrr

Babymamaroon · 17/05/2014 20:24

IMO it was probably down to plain ignorance that she brought her child to the park. She probably didn't realise the risk it poses to certain people.

My experience of chicken pox is that other than the spots and a day or 2 under the weather, kids are right as rain. This might have been the case for her.

I do think people today get a bit panicky by all these mild illnesses unnecessarily (myself included!). I thought chicken pox was akin to the plague...til the kids got it and I was a bit "oh, was that it?".

YANBU.

VIPissArtist · 17/05/2014 20:29

Wow sheer ignorance, unbelievable she knows it was wrong otherwise she wouldn't have told you.

This sort of thing makes me feel physically sick. I really feel for you op, I was so looking forward to a rare holiday after my baby was born, I was so conscious anyway that something would go wrong and a hideous know it all, NCT lady ( part of our group) slyly told another one that she was exposing her DC...Thanks to her I had anxious sweating over waiting for spots, ( she didn't understand the incubation period)....

VIPissArtist · 17/05/2014 20:31

My experience of chicken pox is that other than the spots and a day or 2 under the weather, kids are right as rain. This might have been the case for her

Your very lucky Baby I hope you can understand whilst your DC came out ok with it like my eldest....quite a lot of peoples dc are very ill with it. Very will with it. Because of so many open sores on the body, its ripe for infections, blood poisoning etc.

My Baby did get it, and was extremely, worryingly ill with it.

Babymamaroon · 17/05/2014 20:42

True VIP.

Sorry to hear your little one didn't fare so well :(

itsmeitscathy · 17/05/2014 21:06

How can you actually be sure whether they're infectious though? When I was on chemo I was terrified of idiots like this going out with infectious illnesses- catching something like that could have killed me.

Theonlyoneiknow · 17/05/2014 21:52

My Ds was fine with it, however Dd not so. Really quite ill. If you Google chicken pox complicationd can see it can be pretty nasty. Many countries vaccinate against it. Not here though unless you pay

cerealqueen · 17/05/2014 22:43

Whether or not her kids felt fine, chicken pox is infectious until the last spot has scabbed over. It can be a dangerous infection for some, (pregnant women, people with suppressed immunity), which is why nobody should expose people to it.

Lady in the park was extremely selfish. We have just had chicken pox in out house and it is hellish staying in but that it just what you have to do.

ToddleWaddle · 17/05/2014 22:50

A good friend of mine took her chicken poxy toddler on a flight so they would not miss their holiday. Covered her up so spots not visible.
Was a bit shocked by this.
Yanbu.

hazeyjane · 17/05/2014 22:56

Chickenpox is most infectious from one to two days before the rash starts, until all the blisters have crusted over (usually five to six days after the start of the rash). NHS Direct

Transmission is through direct person to person contact, airborne droplet infection or through contact with infected articles such as clothing and bedding. The incubation period (time from becoming infected to when symptoms first appear) is from 10 to 21 days.The most infectious period is from 1 to 2 days before the rash appears but infectivity continues until all the lesions have crusted over (commonly about 5 to 6 days after onset of illness). HPA (Public Health England)

Chicken pox is contagious until the spots have crusted over (usually 5-6 days) - as described in the 2 sources above.

morethanpotatoprints · 17/05/2014 22:58

My dc all went to the park, they caught cp at a cp party.
Why wouldn't you take them, is it worse than it used to be or something?
When we were growing up we all used to play with dc with chicken pox and the whole class had them by reception.
Is it not better for them to get them when younger? I know GM is bad around pregnant women and nobody exposes this illness of course.

hazeyjane · 17/05/2014 23:03

chicken pox can also be dangerous for people with compromised immune systems and underlying health conditions.

It can also (rarely) be dangerous for healthy children and adults.

For some it can be a relatively mild childhood illness, for others it can be far more severe and lead to complications.

It may also just simply be a pain in the arse at that particular time - eg if you are going on holiday, visiting someone in hospital etc

Basically there are good reasons that the advice is to stay off work and at home until you're no longer infectious, which is until the last blister has burst and crusted over.

Mim78 · 17/05/2014 23:04

She shouldn't have taken the kid to the play area.

Country parks are ok I think with cp or similar as you can stay right easy from other people - why not take kid for a walk in the open air rather than assuming they have to be on play equipment all the time?

cerealqueen · 17/05/2014 23:11

I don't understand why people don't educate themselves about things such as childhood illnesses. The internet is great for this!

The advice is not to take your kids to a chicken pox party as the illness can develop complications. It is one thing to catch it unknowingly, but to deliberately expose them is plain dumb, as you just would never know how your child will react.

As important is knowing what it could do to other people.

BerylStreep · 17/05/2014 23:11

My friend brought her poxy kids to see me when my DD was 2 days old Shock. I subsequently had to have an emergency appointment at the GP getting blood tests done to check that I had already had it (in the hope that the antibodies would be passed on through breast milk). I was pretty pissed off, but not as pissed off as I was when she turned up 2 days later with her poxy kids again Angry. TBH, the friendship drifted a bit after that.

Poor DS got it when he was 7 weeks old, and was severely ill as he had neutropenia. He was so ill that he was hospitalised.

That woman was extremely selfish and irresponsible.

I wish to goodness I had got my DC vaccinated. At least then they wouldn't be susceptible to shingles in later life.

KenAdams · 17/05/2014 23:30

morethanpotatoprints it's fine to make that decision about your child, but you're depriving other parents of being able to make that decision for their children.

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2014 23:41

morethanpotatoprints- My dc all went to the park, they caught cp at a cp party. Why wouldn't you take them, is it worse than it used to be or something

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Complications.aspx

Aspiringhuman · 17/05/2014 23:53

Taking your own child to a CP party is not remotely the same as imposing your infectious child on others without prior warning.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/05/2014 00:03

When I was about 4/5 my cousin died he was the same age as me and I have no recollection of him being a unhealthy child.

I never knew how he died until I was told last week,it was a cp complication. Apparently pox lollies were all the rage back then.

YANBU

ProudAS · 18/05/2014 07:53

Taking child for a run in an isolated playing field - fine!

Letting them on playground being used by other children - different matter!

As for CP parties I would imagine that they have prevented more complications than they have caused by healthy DCs catching it at a relatively low risk time (rather than when someone at home is having chemotherapy, catching it as an adult when risks are greater or from sibling thus resulting in greater dose). I did however hear of a child who suffered complications after deliberate exposure and whilst this would probably have happened with accidental exposure the parents do have the guilt. I wouldn't criticise a parent for making either decision.

ProudAS · 18/05/2014 07:56

Sorry about your cousin needsasock but would things have been any different (other than the guilt) had he caught it naturally which most kids do?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2014 08:15

Yes they shouldn't do it.

dd and I were sitting on a low wall once when a child came up to us and told us he had chickenpox. I was a bit Hmm and his parents were Blush

She didn't catch it though, still hasn't at 7.5

NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/05/2014 10:09

Obviously my knowledge of the situation is just based on what I've been told and I was not told by his treating doctor.

But I don't think it would have been any different

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