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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how you juggle baby, job and housework?

66 replies

Christelle2207 · 17/05/2014 11:38

Am going back to work soon! 4dpw.
Other than missing my darling boy (9m) my next biggest worry is how the hell am I ever going to keep on top of the housework given that I can't even now and I'm not working. DH is very good generally and will be sharing night shifts with me and broadly do nearly his share but the truth is he works very long hours.
The baby will be at nursery 2 days so at least baby associated mess will be less on those days but the other two days grandparents will be looking after him in our house and I don't expect them to have time to clean up after his extremely messy mealtimes etc.
I am somewhat houseproud but have already lowered my general standards. DH thinks I need to lower them further but he grew up in a very messy house (with lots of siblings) unlike me.
Yes I will be doing it in the evenings when the baby is in bed but surely I will be too exhausted to do much (will be up at 6 and out 8-6) and I need at least half an hour nightly slumped in front of the tv
I also want to maintain exercising but think I will just have to forget about that for a while Sad
We do have a fortnightly cleaner, who I may upgrade to weekly (yes I'm very lucky), but otherwise how do the rest of you do it?

OP posts:
MrsCripps · 17/05/2014 21:33

Discuss how the housework will be shared with your DH NOW
Unless you are working 3 days a week and him 5 then do not fall into the trap of you being responsible.

Cleaner - check
Online shopping -check
Share the rest

MrsCripps · 17/05/2014 21:34

can you cycle to work? - great exercise!

rootypig · 17/05/2014 21:42

you and DH need to find a rhythm, that's all. Some golden rules (and all of these should be split between you)

  1. shove a load of washing in before you go to work, hang it out when you get home
  2. always clean up the kitchen while cooking / immediately after eating
  3. cut ironing to the barest minimum
  4. do a couple of jobs on a Saturday morning - vacuum, clean bathroom(s)
  5. change bedding and iron anything essential on a Sunday night while you watch TV
  6. ignore everything else, it really doesn't matter / you're lucky to have a cleaner, give him or her the big jobs like hob, oven, thorough mopping, dusting and wiping, cleaning shower and tub.

Online shopping, batch cooking, and giving your baby the same food you eat will all help too.

Blankiefan · 17/05/2014 21:53

I'm in your situ - back at work, 7mo dd, cleaner once a fortnight. I'd like to increase cleaner to weekly but I don't think I can justify the expense. Three tips from me:

  • bedtime is tidy time. If DH does bedtime, I tidy up, get a washing in the machine to go on next day / hang one up / empty dishwasher, etc. If I do bedtime DH does the housework.
  • tidy house by end of bedtime then another quick straighten up before bed do it's tidy for the morning.
  • make sure you've got excellent storage. We invested in3 x expedit units from ikea for various rooms in the house and during mat leave, I made sure all of my other storage was organised. Having good, organised storage makes tidying up so much easier.
SuperSophie · 17/05/2014 22:11

It's not unreasonable to wonder how you juggle baby, job and housework but most would-be mothers begin wondering that before they conceive and only go ahead with the conception once they've figured out how you DO juggle baby, job and housework.

Igggi · 17/05/2014 22:48

Really? Confused I'd be very surprised if how the bathroom gets cleaned featured highly in most women's list of things to think about before deciding to try to reproduce.

FloozeyLoozey · 17/05/2014 22:52

You have a cleaner? Problem solved.

Mim78 · 17/05/2014 22:58

Yes have the cleaner once a week.

Otherwise ditch the housework (except cleaning up after meals etc). It has to be bottom of that list, doesn't it?

Jollyphonics · 17/05/2014 22:58

You will become much more efficient and focused. You will care a bit less about the state of the house. And you'll be knackered!

Neverending2012 · 17/05/2014 22:59

Give the cleaner more hours?

cardibach · 17/05/2014 23:00

Most housework is completely unnecessary. Don't cave to popular opinion and you'll be fine.

elQuintoConyo · 17/05/2014 23:08

Wetwipes are your friend.

And not giving a shit.

Invite someone round once a week - you'll do more housework in the half hour before they arrive than the rest of the week put together!

erin99 · 17/05/2014 23:11

You have a cleaner, you'll be fine.

Me, I used to stay up to midnight cleaning the night before my mother came, and she still dropped nice 'subtle' hints about how she always had to change her clothes completely after she's been to our house while my dad commented on the dust on the mantelpiece.

When DD2 came along she did more days at nursery. But it all depends on the GPs' attitude.

sausageandorangepickle · 17/05/2014 23:12

Make sure you plan what the cleaner will do - either thr jobs that take longest/you hate doing most/bother you most when they are not done. Eg I'd ask them to clean the bathroom and kitchen, and possibly hoover the stairs if they had time, as I can dust and polish round a room quickly in an evening, and hoover the whole downstairs or upstairs in 20 mins (but I really hate doing the stairs).

Try and build your exercise in to your day if you can, walk/cycle to work or at lunchtime.

Online shopping and meal planning, so you are not wasting time at the supermarket to complete meals.

Deverethemuzzler · 17/05/2014 23:15

Super nobody knows how having a baby will impact on their lives until it happens.

lozster · 17/05/2014 23:20

You're dangling a hook there surely aren't you Sophie? Pls tell me the answer is yes Confused

OP you could be me - 4 days with a long-ish commute starting when ds is 1 in 2 months time. I will be leaving at 6.30, back about same time pm, so no chance of washing on and out before work or on and out after work. I find laundry one of the hardest things and have tried a service wash. I dislike other people's soap powder ( there is always a residue in laundry machines no matter if I supplied my own) on my clothes though. I may get less fussy....

I hear about people with cleaners fortnightly and wonder how this works - I think mess and tidying is mist of the chore not spray and polish if you see what I mean.

I work for a global company who want to improve the number of women in senior positions. A survey identified that middle earners like myself find it hard as we have all the hours of more senior people but not enough money to buy in help. We also find it hard to compete globally with countries where services like cleaners, housekeepers etc are cheaper.

As for the 'we'... Well, I totally agree in theory but in practice it's harder Sad.

lozster · 17/05/2014 23:21

On a more constructive note - I read a couple of books on household organisation.

lozster · 17/05/2014 23:22

On a more constructive note - I read a couple of books on household organisation. One good one that is money saving too is to print shopp

lozster · 17/05/2014 23:26

On a more constructive note - I read a couple of books on household organisation. One good one that is money saving too is to prepare pre-printed shopping lists with regular purchases already there and to cross out items NOT needed. On the same page enter the meals you plan to eat that week and any extra ingredients they will need that you don't have. Voila there is your list.

Blush apologies for the triple post

Rochiana54 · 17/05/2014 23:28

Well you are incredibly lucky to have a cleaner.

When I had my first dc, dh and I worked f/t whilst they attended nursery. House was always tidy as we were out for 10 hours a day.

Tips:
Bulk cook

Do a load of washing daily

Clean bathroom before/after using it

Take out your clothes the night before

Pack your bags the night before

Use your commute/lunch hour
to book appts/catch up with friends

Keep your home clutter free

Prepare to do extra clearing up on the two days your parents will be caring for your dc. Make life easier for them by leaving out your dcs food, clothes, toiletries, favourite toys.

lozster · 17/05/2014 23:29

Also I read a tip on here not to buy things more often than you need to. So for example, order all your vacuum bags for the year or buy all the birthday cards you will need.

Cuteypatootey · 18/05/2014 03:13

I let go of the idea of having such a tidy house for a while. No, wouldn't put up with unhygienic, but I do believe to let go of things being out of place for a while. Most time it's a struggle for energy though but I try and remind myself that there are others that have far more to deal with than I do.

ToffeeMoon · 18/05/2014 05:12

Just ask your DH how he plans to juggle his job, child and home-life and follow his lead.

Smile
jasminemai · 18/05/2014 07:00

We both work full time with 2 dcs. Place only really getsmessy on bank hols or holidays rest of time Iits organised as we are at work

oohdaddypig · 18/05/2014 07:06

If you can afford a cleaner weekly it's easy. Your house tasks are then washing, paperwork, clearing clutter, kids' admin.I do a bit every day and some of the admin in my lunch hour.

But I prioritise exercise for me. I do my half hour every day before any chores, as in the long run it is way more important.