Noisy sweary neighbour

[AngelBaker]

We've been living in our new house for just under a month now, it's a rented house out in the country on a managed estate. It's an end terrace though not really a terrace style, it's was clearly one huge house that has been cut up into little chunks, this is probably why the walls are so thin! Most of the time this isn't a problem but it turns out our neighbour is a bit of a night owl!
The house ours is connected to is TINY I mean the width of it is about as wide as I am tall, the guy who lives there lives on his own, we've picked up on gossip from other neighbours he used to have a job on the estate but was sacked cause he's a bit of a drunk :/ The only time we see him is on his way to the local village to pick up a 6 pack of stellas.
Now, I am pretty open to most lifestyles, me and hubby are a bit nocturnal ourselves, I'm currently a student and hubby works evenings and weekends so we aren't usually bothered about other people's noise because we know we can be a bit annoying ourselves, we have one son who is 16 months old and he likes to shout and stomp about too.

HOWEVER I'm writing this in bed, it's 1am and I can here the next door neighbour shouting, I assume he's on the phone? but it's possible he's talking to himself... every other word is F*CKING this and FCKING that and I DON'T FCKING GIVE A ST HE'S A FCKING WKER, FCKING C*T, That's right the C word is involved in about 50% of sentences. Last week he'd damaged his hand punching a wall and that's what had him going... ALLL WEEK, this week it appears to be about someone owing him money.

He was out in the garden at the same time as me the other day and was doing the same thing, talking to himself, I didn't want to confront him as I was on my own with baby boy so I just sort of coughed, hoping he'd realise I was there. He did, but instead of stopping, he started talking about me under his breath... It genuinely scared me so we went back inside. When hubby came home I told him and he said he'd have a word. Hubby is a pretty big guy, rather musclely and tall, he's a bouncer but is lovely, but this guy doesn't know that so he just nodded and said sorry. I haven't seen him in the garden since but I can still here him inside.

Now this probably seems like an overreaction but I am genuinely terrified of this guy knowing I'm home alone, maybe I'm being precious but I genuinely think he has a mental health disorder, which should be no big deal, I'm on tablets for anxiety and depression and would hate to pigeon hole him into being crazy cause that's not who I am. But he seriously scares me, probably to do with the fact i have anxiety issues anyway!
Both mine and baby's room are connected to his house and while baby sleeps through it now I'm worried he won't soon and you can here the words very clearly, I don't want baby repeating any!!
I don;t want to complain to the estate because he will know it is us and I don't wanna cause a problem, but at the same time, I don't see how he thinks it's acceptable to shout swear words in the middle of the night...

Well you need to do something, so it's likely to come down to either getting hubby to have another polite chat, or complain to the estate. I can't really see any other serious options. Option 1 probably needs to be first port of call, then if it keeps occurring - option 2. I feel for him if he's really that disturbed, but then alcoholism won't be helping on th MH front and you have your child to consider (not to mention your own sanity and wellbeing).

This sounds awful and YNBU at all. I would hate it and you don't need it. I agree with Uncle about husband chat first and then the estate.

Keep a note of any antisocial behaviour OP, you can track if it gets worse after your DH having a word and you'll need it for a complaint. He may or may not have MH issues, I knew someone with a neighbour like this and we all thought he has mh issues so we were more sympathetic and held off complaining until it was absolutely awful. Turned out he was just a nasty controlling bully, some people have genuine problems but some are just antisocial arseholes. Either way, keep a record.

What makes it worse is the garden fence is a waist high picket fence, so we can see each other, I was in the garden today and he came outside and I sort of caught he eye so just nicely and happily said hi. He just stared at me and then walked away saying 'Didn't expect you to talk to me like that' it carried on but by that point I had enticed baby boy into the kitchen with the promise of blueberries because again I was alone and was a bit freaked out.
I am worried I'm blowing out of proportion cause of my own problems with anxiety but he genuinely seems like he he might have some issues, or maybe he's just constantly pissed?
I'll ask DH to have a word, and will start keeping a note of what happens and when. Just hope it doesn;t get worse throughout the summer! Although I don't think he had many friends so hopefully I'll hav eno trouble with roudy parties!!

OP, I feel for you and have been in a similar situation. We live in a semi and the walls are quite thin. Our elderly neighbour died some years ago, and the adjoining property has changed hands several times since then, with each neighbour bringing fresh problems. One tenant definitely had mental health problems. He was quite reclusive, hardly left the house and spent much of his time swearing down the phone at his mother (his only visitor, who used to do his food shopping - poor long suffering woman). Sometimes we'd hear him swearing and shouting away, long after he'd slammed the phone down, and could also him him banging about in a violent manner - we thought he was taking his frustrations out on the furniture. However, after he left the landlord told us that he'd had to replace every door in the place, as the tenant had punched holes in every door! I'm convinced that he was a victim of the "care in the community" policy and that he simply couldn't cope by himself, but I doubt he would ever physically attack anyone... maybe your neighbour is similar, and just feels the need to vent as he can't cope with life?

We had a sturdy 2 metre fence erected in the back garden just days after he moved in, as he was just one of a long line of problem tenants that were best avoided. I'd recommend that option if you can afford it. Also, keep notes of what is going on and approach your landlord/the management company to see what can be done. There may well be something in his tenancy agreement referring to the right to "quiet enjoyment" for both him and his neighbours, so he may be infringing the terms of his contract. If he becomes a problem tenant maybe they will evict him.

Finally, I've read that you can install some special soundproofing/insulation boards on a party wall, which reduces noise significantly, although you may lose about 3 inches of room space - is that worth considering, if you plan to be there long term? We considered it, but it would involve removing the ceiling coving and some plastering work, so DH decided he didn't fancy the work involved at the moment.

Definitely get the fence extended. You can even get tresses put on the top of the existing one and put some flowers there. Keep records and speak to the estate, you can also call 101 for advice if you are worried.