Or is this rude (sorry PIL related)

[ThinkAboutItTomorrow]

PIL sold their house a while ago and now tend to move round lots of holiday lets. 6 months in the sun, a few months exploring elsewhere in Europe etc. all on a shoestring as they are pretty skint.

They have stored all their stuff at ours, which we said was ok (but didn't know quite how much there would be). So it is their base when in the UK. They are registered at ours for Dr and all post etc.

This does irk me a bit to be honest. They are quite volatile and went from not speaking to us for a year, to being ok again when we announced I was pregnant. Then staying with us for 3 months after she was born. Not to help or anything. Just to see her and enjoy a summer in the UK.

Anyway we just got a text to say 'we are going away from the end of June to early next year. We will have a couple of weeks staying with you before we go'. They arrive 2nd June so even though they also mention visiting DGMIL they are basically coming for 3-4 weeks.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a rude way to go about it?

No, 'can we stay with you before we go', or 'is that ok'? Just 'we'll be staying with you for a couple of weeks' by which they mean close to a month.

WOW just wow, they take the biscuit. Living rent free in the uk, taking the piss out of family, the sheer expectation that its their right some how. Getting their own keys cut......

I don't like how they tell YOU when they are coming to YOUR home, they don't ask or discuss if it suits YOU.

How long do they expect you to store their stuff, yeah I get you don't mind but as they have no plans to actually have their own home in the uk....why are they even keeping it?

Do they ever invite you abroad to stay with them for free, is it a two way thing? See how I expect an invite, maybe you should start arriving on their step for four weeks at a time. Do they pay for food?

They sound like free loaders. Let me ask you this- if you or dh ever needed help or support, would they be there for you? Could you pick up the phone and ask them for help knowing they would be there for you?

Do they expect you to look after them If they fell ill, and stay at yours aswell?

I suspect not. Its time to put your put down, they are adults. STart saying no and let them stand on their own two feet.

Famzilla Fri 16-May-14 07:36:25
"Sorry, that does not work for us. Here's a list of nearby hotels."

nailed in post 1

But you agreed for them to use your place as a base when they are in the U.K so I not sure you can now complain about when and how long as you didn't set any stipulations when you initially agreed.

That's unbelievably rude, my shoulders are up round my ears just reading it! It's your home, not theirs, and they need to behave like adult guests, not entitled teenagers.

Actually in fairness to PIL they would love us to stay when they go abroad and often broach the subject.
I never want to go because it would take up holiday we can't afford to go to somewhere we would rather not go to and squash everyone in to a small flat / cottage. Which makes me sound like a Diva but we get 4 weeks together a year. We use 1 week to take PIL and my DM on holiday and then I want the rest to ourselves.

I also think that if they were in the same country / continent they would really want to help if ever they could. Now she is bigger they have helped with free childcare for DD when we have been stuck and they were staying with us.

And yes, it is SIL they are staying with. Poor love thought emigrating meant escape mwah hah hah....