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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to give a good slap...

48 replies

Loopylala7 · 15/05/2014 23:53

to all the people who have recently told me they are exhausted, but don't a) have small children or b) other big life commitments. They seem to be hunting me out to tell me, and I have an 8 week old baby who is currently nocturnal and a 2 year old who wakes up at around 6:30am and refuses to knap during the day. Raaaaaahhhhhh!

OP posts:
MollyBdenum · 16/05/2014 09:29

OP didn't day that only people with babies got tired. She specifically mentioned people with other big life commitments which I imagine would cover things like working night shifts, caring for ill or elderly relatives or dealing with pain or illness.

I imagine she is talking more about people like the friend who yawned dramatically in front of me and complained that he was exhausted because he'd been clubbing all night and had only slept from 6am to 11 am that morning. At moment, I really really wanted to do horrible violence to him as that was a better nights sleep than I had had for the past year.

It's like complaining about being poor because you can't afford regular luxuries to someone living on the breadline or moaning about your irritating mother to someone who has recently lost a parent. Sometimes a certain amount of tact is needed and some people don't always manage.

MrsWembley · 16/05/2014 09:33

Yes, give the OP a break, I'm sure this was meant to be lighthearted and just needed to rant. I know I did!Grin

LangenFlugelHappleHoff · 16/05/2014 13:31

Op I hope you got a little nap in this morning

unfortunately sleep is a competition with some people, just like how many hours they have worked, what time they got up, how long their commute is, how many family responsibilities they have...I have a friend who does this. It's like one upmanship for sympathy. I'm to tired to give sympathy these days Grin

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 16/05/2014 13:38

Yes, I remember dsis bf telling me I didn't know what sleep deprivation is because he had insomnia. I have also had insomnia and it did not compare remotely to the sleep deprived hell that was ds1, dd and ds2, who were all born in the space of three and a half years and were chronically bad sleepers and all ebf so I was the only one getting up with them most of the time.

How I managed not to throttle him I'll never know.

I am now tired as I have a neurological illness and am on heavy medication. People are actually more sympathetic as I'm ill, but if I'm honest being tired all day every day is hard but do-able, whereas being tired all day and being screamed at all night was a special kind of hell.

MinesAPintOfTea · 16/05/2014 13:49

OP YANBU I had a friend make a flippant remark about all-nighters when I was explaining what newborn sleep deprivation was like. The difference being that as a student you know you can choose to sleep the next day! I restrained myself to simply glaring.

MrsW has he had his snoring medically checked out, especially in conjunction with feeling exhausted?

Ioethe · 16/05/2014 14:36

I have a range of health issues which cause me fatigue and I hereby license you to slap away.

It's not a tiredness contest but some people sure do treat it like one.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2014 14:42

And the MN race to the bottom continues. OP, you are absolutely allowed to mentally slap people who don't, AND YOU SPECIFIED FOR PEOPLE, a) have small children or b) other big life commitments.

Every thread I have read today is, "but my DH is away for 10 years", "but I am writing this from the bottom of a lake", "but I live on 2p and noodles for a week".

m0therofdragons · 16/05/2014 14:48

Pil and bil came to our house when dtds were 10 days old (8 days in scbu), stayed for 3 days and took 2 hour long naps in the afternoon and didn't wake up until 9am. They kept going on about being tired.. I'd had a cs, dtd1 was resuscitated at birth so it had been a fairly emotional week, prem birth etc, breast feeding twins and we also had a 3yo - and they were efing tired. I will never forget. Bil apologised 2 years on, pil never have and when dh practically kicked them out they commented we were stressed and maybe not ready for visitors!
People are idiots.

MrsWembley · 16/05/2014 15:07

Grin @ MrsTP

Minesa (or can I call you Tea?), I have told him more times than there are atoms in the universe (exaggerate? Moi?) to go to the doctor and get himself referred to a sleep clinic! I have told him that if he's still tired when he doesn't even wake up for one of the DCs crying, let alone calling out (unless I'm away - manages it thenHmm), then he's suffering from sleep apnea. He says he's too busy, it's not worth it, various other excuses reasons.

Seriously, one of these days... (grrr)

MinesAPintOfTea · 16/05/2014 19:52

MrsW I've name changed but you can call me MrsH. And I have one of those too, had to threaten to make the appointment for him to get him there.

Original poster
Loopylala7 · 17/05/2014 01:00

MollyBdenhum, you are right, I was aiming it at the all night party animals, and the ones who said things like they are tired because they didn't get a lie in. It wasn't aimed at people with medical conditions - I apologise if you thought I meant this.

OP posts:
ThaneOfScunthorpe · 17/05/2014 01:05

I don't think you should apologise, the thread was clearly lighthearted. However, you will know for next time that you must always put a disclaimer at the bottom specifying who you are excluding from your judgements.

Katkins1 · 17/05/2014 01:08

I'm a student and single mum with an illness that causes tiredness. Today I could barely lift the vacuum over the rug. I get annoyed when other students moan, but I have to keep it in perspective. People cope on different levels; but that doesn't mean you can't be annoyed.no sleep is awful.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 17/05/2014 09:31

You don't need to apologise. It was obviously lighthearted and I understood what ya meant. Smile

FrancesNiadova · 17/05/2014 10:23

I watched an old video of my DCs when they were babies/toddlers last night. DH & I both said that we were knackered just watching it! There was never a second that we weren't busy, followed by bf during the night.
Tell you what though, they were really happy times, & that isn't the rose tinted glasses of time. It was great to sit back & reminisce!
Sorry you're so knackered now op, but it won't last forever Thanks

whynowblowwind · 17/05/2014 10:31

I used to work two jobs. I would work 8-4:30 then start again at 6-11. Twice a week I did a night shift.

Now I have no job and a new baby. I was far more tired when working two jobs.

restandpeace · 17/05/2014 10:33

Its not a contest. at my friend who so think it is

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 17/05/2014 13:07

I haven't had a full night's sleep in almost 8 years. And I'm not ready to slap people. Breathe OP, this too shall pass. Sleep deprivation sucks, but usually it's over quickly. Unless you have my DC. Hmm

Objection · 17/05/2014 14:01

I'd quite like to shake all those that think that the world revolves around them because they have children and who think that having them is the hardest thing in the world.
Because it just isn't.
Babies are tiring but so are millions of other things

ViviPru · 17/05/2014 14:04

What Objection said.

Shockers · 17/05/2014 14:23

I once nodded of whilst pushing the pram to baby clinic.

Now they're teenagers, I work full time and have night sweats and broken sleep.

I nodded off whilst reading test questions to a child the other day.

I feel like I've been knackered my whole adult life.

Shockers · 17/05/2014 15:28

*off

restandpeace · 17/05/2014 15:31

Agree with objection

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