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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that Neneh Cherry should not have blamed the rape victim?

21 replies

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2014 21:02

Hello, MZ here. I've long had a memory of seeing Neneh Cherry interviewed on The Word back in the day, I'm talking twenty years ago here.

Terry Christian mentioned to her that her daughters name was a bit unfortunate (it's Tyson) given the very recent (at that time) conviction that Mike Tyson had for rape.

She answered by defending him, saying she wasn't convinced he was guilty anyway, and referred to 'this woman, right, this woman' going to his hotel room and 'come on girl, it's 1992', with big eye rolls.

I remember being so gutted because I thought Neneh Cherry was feisty and cool before that, and although I still love her music I can't see her that way now.

Anyway I wondered if perhaps I was inventing this, I've seen interviews with her in the last few days as she has a new album out and the interviews don't show her as anything other than a strong, intelligent woman.

So I googled it, and there it is on YouTube, the whole interview. It is really grim. I can't accept she was young and stupid either as she's older than me, and I was horrified at the time.

Sorry Neneh, I'm sure you're a brilliant friend, wife and mother, but I can never forget those shitty things you said about a rape victim.

OP posts:

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 21:12

If my Brothers ever got accused for rape, I would not believe they did it.

I know my brothers inside and out, there is no way on earth they would do it.

But then again I am torn because I support 'I believe you' campaign on MN.

What I am trying to say when it is a close friend/family you know then it's hard to know what to believe.

I may get a flaming for this response, which I would deserve.

punygod · 15/05/2014 21:19

Neneh Cherry is not Mike Tyson's sister.

She is, however, an idiot.

meditrina · 15/05/2014 21:19

One thing to remember is that her DD, Tyson, was born in 1989, whereas the boxer's conviction was in 1992.

So it wasn't 'very recent', it was 3 years before.

There are many examples where people belive the courts have made the wrong decision in a particular case. She's not saying all rape convictions are unsound.

phantomnamechanger · 15/05/2014 21:22

Icanseethesun - I think you are being naïve to think you know your brothers that well.
what about women whose partners or fathers have unbeknown to them been abusing their children? and they have had NO IDEA. How well can you ever know another person?

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 21:43

Maybe that is the case and I respect your view.

Branleuse · 15/05/2014 21:43

she was pretty young. it was 22years ago. She may be more enlightened by now

Original poster

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2014 21:44

The conviction was the same year as the interview, that's what I meant.

I think it's ok to have private doubts about the outcomes of public trials, but to slate the victim? Surely that is just shit? She basically said the victim didn't have a leg to stand on as she had gone voluntarily to his hotel room. That is a truly crap thing for any person to say in public, never mind a cool celebrity that kids listen to.

Imagine if you or somebody you know was subject to an attack in a hotel room you'd willingly gone to, and you heard that? The audience cheered her comments too. I just think it was awful.

OP posts:

Original poster

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2014 21:46

I don't doubt she is more enlightened now. But she made those comments on a very popular tv show, not in private. And she's older than me (not by much) and I was appalled back then. I always knew it was shit to blame rape victims.

OP posts:

fingersonbuzzers · 15/05/2014 21:46

Can you link to the interview?

AtrociousCircumstance · 15/05/2014 21:47

Shit, that is really disappointing.

Neneh, if you're out there - correct this. Make a public statement.

(Yes, I know that's unlikely!).

Original poster

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2014 21:49

I can't do links but it's v quickly found on google. Neneh Cherry interview on The Word.

OP posts:

ICanSeeTheSun · 15/05/2014 21:51

I think a private apology would be better than a public one, if she did then it would be seen as doing it for publicity rather than a true apology.

I know this is a bit off topic, but as we are on the subject of rape does anyone know if there is petition or charity dedicated in overruling this

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/10824964/Rape-in-marriage-not-a-crime-Indian-court-rules.html

EyelinerQueen · 15/05/2014 21:52

Morris It sounds like straight up victim blaming. Never acceptable. Let's hope NC's opinions have matured. Tyson is a godawful name for a girl btw.

ICan I watch a lot of crime documentaries and I see that argument a lot where the families of people who are unequivocally guilty say that they know they're innocent because they know them inside and out and know that they aren't capable of the crime.

It's just not true. Nobody knows anybody else completely. We might like to think otherwise but we have no idea what even our nearest and dearest are capable of in their thoughts and actions.

SuperSophie · 15/05/2014 21:52

Blaming the victim is one thing: suggesting contributory negligence is quite another.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 15/05/2014 21:53

Funnily enough, I was reminded about this recently. She was on Loose Ends on Saturday and Sarah Cox was gushing all over interviewing her.

I think I was in my mid - late twenties when I saw that interview and couldn't quite believe her attitude, or the audience's reaction. Don't know why, actually - that was the original 'roll in drunk from the pub and switch the telly on' show, wasn't it?
Shocking that a mother, especially one with a daughter, could have that attitude. The sneery, know-it-all attitude really put me off her, and I can't bear to click on that Youtube link.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 15/05/2014 21:54

I'm glad I've not been in the public eye. I said some crap in my twenties. (im v nice now)

Many people used to think like that. I'm grateful that there has been a shift in public perception - not far enough of course.

Darkesteyes · 15/05/2014 21:55

When Kate O Mara died a couple of months back I found this interview she did on The Word back in 1995.
She talks about being sexually assaulted and its horrifying to see it was just treated as a joke. Including by the audience

TheNightIsDark · 15/05/2014 21:55

I don't even know who she is. She sounds like a twat though.

Branleuse · 17/05/2014 08:41

cultural norms around sex and assault have changed so much in the last couple of decades.

Branleuse · 17/05/2014 08:42

cultural norms around sex and assault have changed so much in the last couple of decades.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/05/2014 08:58

I'm not excusing her. But the context is...

Plenty of people still think like this - 20 years ago even more did. She was probably slightly on the defensive with the question anyway (ie "your daughter's name reminds people of a convicted criminal, don't you feel bad about that?")

Tens, perhaps hundreds, of people knew about Jimmy Saville at a similar time and none of them did or said anything. Marital rape was only made illegal in 1991.

I would be interested to know what she thought now.

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