To not have invited all the boys to DS's birthday party?

[MissHoolies]

DS is having his 6th birthday party.

The place we are having it has a maximum of 24 children (incl DS and siblings), we didn't want anything bigger as had a whole class party last year and he didn't cope very well, he's very quiet.

DS plus 2 siblings, then a few friends from out of school has meant we can only invite 19 from the class. We have invited all the boys but 5, and invited 3 girls.

DS said he doesn't really play with the other boys, and only wanted the people he plays with the most to come, but I'm worried 'leaving out' 5 of the boys is going to cause problems, aibu?

But it's HIS party and HIS choice who to have there. If he doesn't want the boys he doesn't play with, then he is absolutely entitled to say so.

I am so over people getting offended by stuff like this

Why on earth should the OP pay for 5 extra boys who he doesn't want there?!

OP, you have nothing to feel bad about

Why should she invite fewer boys?! OP, skip past this sort if comment

Who here has claimed to be offended? OP asked for our opinions, and got them.

I meant in general

I'd only invite the children my Dcs played with or wanted at any party, may be it wasn't the kindest option but after once inviting all the girls to my dd's party and it being disrupted because of 2 little 'cows', I never did it again.

Sounds fine to me then.

Leaving out one is mean.

Leaving out 5 boys and lots of girls is perfectly fine.

My DGC hasn't been invited to all the parties this year (Reception) and hasn't minded in the least.

That's fine so long as you hand out the invites discreetly so that it's not obvious that some are going and some not.

I wouldn't have done it. I'd have invited either all the boys or less boys. However, I don't think its that bad? It's awful to invite all but one or two but ok to leave out 5.

I would remind your son and his friends that they should try to be sensitive to the boys who are not invited and shouldn't go on about it in front of them.

I dont get why it's significant 5 boys and however many girls, surly they are children regardless of what gender not all the children are invited and that's fine.

YANBU DD gets invited to about 20 parties a year, 30 in her class and she can't possibly go to them all. I'm not sure why people have a party every year for their kids. I have 3 DD so that's a lot of parties a year. It wouldn't bother me at all if they were not invited as it's your DCs party so his choice. TBH kids have been to that many they are not even excited to get the invites anymore. I have a tea party at home with 5 friends each as I can't afford a class party. Don't worry about it, I would be shocked at anyone who complained about not getting an invite

Just to add our school do not give out invitations, the parents have to do it outside of school

I would struggle with this decision. Used to invite every boy, then changed it to there had to be at least more boys uninvited than invited. Others obviously feel differently but I would feel bad for the boys not invited.

It would depend on whether the 5 boys not invited were often left out, due to different lifestyles or SN etc. If just a random 5 left out, out of 18, oh well.

I am so glad that at no point ever during my 3 DC's lives, did parents start doing this 'whole class party' farce.

OP, you say he's a quiet child and he's invited 16 classmates that he actually plays with.

YANBU at all. That's perfectly reasonable imo.

YANBU.

I find birthday etiquette of inviting the whole entire class very bizarre.