...to think I'm doing the right thing...?

[ScouseBird8364]

...by telling my 6 year old not to hit / kick back in school?

Our 6 year old is such a lovely, sensible, wise young man and so caring and gentle (polar opposite of his younger brother!) There have been quite a lot of incidents in his school where these twins like to bully everybody (mainly the girls) but long story short, we have had numerous meetings with school about this as our son was on the receiving end far too many times.

My concern is that, at this age, I haven't really brought him up to retaliate (don't get me wrong, I don't see anything particularly wrong with teaching your kids to do so) but my boy is so gentle and always reacts very maturely when it comes to these things

People (especially my mum) keep telling me he needs to 'toughen up' and I ought to be teaching him to hit back / kick back - am I and have I been doing wrong by telling him not to, and instead to just take himself away from the situation and tell a teacher?

worried mum x

School would take a dim view if they knew you were telling him to hit back.

You are doing the right thing by telling him to take himself away and tell an adult.

I think you're absolutely right. I work in school and have 3 children of my own. This is the advice I give at home and school.

Some boys from another school approached my son and his friends (all aged 14) on the park last week, spoiling for a fight. The boys didn't realise that DH was behind them (he'd gone up to have a kick about with our boys). He hung back to see how our lot handled it rather than wading in. He said they were calm and good natured, but dismissive of the suggestion that they should fight, then they just got on with their footy game. The other boys looked nonplussed and wandered to a certain distance, where they sat and watched.

DH was impressed.

Thanks guys, that makes me feel a little better

You just don't know whether you're doing wrong for doing right in this day and age. People (again, especially my mum!) tell me if I don't instill it into him now, at this age, he'll be susceptible to bullying as he gets older :-S