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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

there is no such thing as a car seat from 9 months!!

62 replies

SqutterNutBaush · 15/05/2014 09:53

Trivial I know but a lot of my friends have babies and I am so sick of hearing about which car seat to get when they are 9 months!

I would love to tell them that car seats by age went out years ago and now they go by weight, many of the babies are small (smallest is 7.5kg, biggest is just under 9kg) and none are big so plenty of space in infant carriers. I just don't get the rush on a non-existant milestone but is there anyway to point out that group 0+ seats are fine until 13kg or the head goes above the shell without being preachy?

It's a trivial thing I know but it really grates on me when I see/hear people discussing it.

OP posts:

Aspiringhuman · 15/05/2014 09:57

My ex MIL boasts about her grandchildren moving into a front facing seat, booster etc. She seems to see it as a developmental mile stone, a sign of how clever they are. I got terrible grief for holding back dd's development. She even tried to use it in court against me. I don't understand the attitude either.

elliejjtiny · 15/05/2014 10:16

When DS1 (aged nearly 8) was a baby the 0+ car seats were a fairly new thing I think and although we had one a lot of people at baby group had the stage 0 seats which were meant to last until about 9 months, can't remember the weight. However despite the 0+ car seats and the 0-1 car seats being invented years ago nobody has told the HV's or the people who write the questions in the red book. So with all of my DC at about 9 months the HV will ask "have you got a 2nd stage car seat?" I will reply with "he's fine in his current seat which is a 0+ seat and suitable for children until 13kg". Then I get the sucking teeth and sighing from the HV. When the HV's don't know you're not supposed to change the car seat at 9 months anymore it's not surprising that other people don't either.

Original poster

SqutterNutBaush · 15/05/2014 10:20

I had the same issue at DD's 13 month check.

"Oh she should really be out of that by now" ERM no you've just told me she's 8.5kg, forward facing is only suitable from 9kg ”oh right, all these fads go right over my head”

OP posts:

JulietBravoJuliet · 15/05/2014 10:32

I'm having issues at the minute with 8yo ds, as his dad and nana are giving me grief over the fact I still have him in a high backed booster, and keep telling him that car seats are for babies not big boys (I have made it quite clear that if his dad ever takes him in the car without a booster seat, it will be the last time he takes him in the car, as I feel very strongly about this). Ds is 4ft 2in and 3st 4lb, so is not legally big enough to ride in a car without a seat. The high back booster states that it is suitable for up to 25kg, which I believe is about 4st, so it will be a while before he is heavy enough to be out of it, plus I just feel he's safer in it and don't see why everyone else has such an issue with it!

redskyatnight · 15/05/2014 10:37

Are they just using "9 months seat" as a useful shorthand as a name for the seats or do they genuinely not understand that the seat required is determined by weight?

I called DD's 2nd car seat her "9 month seat" - she didn't actually move into it until she was over 12 months old. If you talk about stage car seats no one has a clue what you are on about.

dramajustfollowsme · 15/05/2014 10:42

My dd was in her first carseat until about 15m as she is tiny.
When we did eventually move her, she was long enough and heavy enough but still looked so tiny in her big seat. Now at 3, she looks about right in it. We will no doubt have similar issues when moving to the next size.
I just ignore people who say I'm babying her. No, I'm just keeping her safe.

jeanmiguelfangio · 15/05/2014 10:43

We were very fortunate to be bought our dds first car seat, and it was a 0 not a 0+, so finished at 9kg, which she was at about 9 months. She also managed to grow up so it didnt fit her properly either. She wouldnt have moved otherwise. Seems silly, its not a milestone, its safety. My friends dd has only just gone into her big seat at 18 months because she is big enough now

bouncinbean · 15/05/2014 10:48

I've been hearing similar as my DD is 11 months and have I not put her forward facing yet.
Er no - she'll be in her infant carrier for as long as possible (and even then I have pretty much decided on the erf seat I'm getting so still won't be forward facing)

Burren · 15/05/2014 10:49

Yes, in my experience some people who had their babies some time ago have some very odd ideas about 'moving up' into the next-stage carseat. I was completely baffled by comments from neighbours, and even our lovely childminder, about my baby being 'a bit too old for that [rear-facing] seat, when he was still well within the weight guidelines for his first seat. I thought they were just being a bit odd, but the comments on this thread are retrospectively illuminating it for me - they were regarding it as akin to starting to walk, or toilet training, rather than purely a weight/size issue, as if I was deliberately holding him back!

lylasmam2012 · 15/05/2014 12:08

I hated that I had to move DD to the next stage car seat when she was about 9 months old (she was over 9kg and her head was starting to come out over the top). I missed the convenience of being able to put her car seat on the buggy chasis so I really don't get it!

giggleshizz · 15/05/2014 12:15

In many countries children stay rear facing until aged 4!!! This hurrying to get kids facing forward at 9 months is actually not safe. No time to post links now but Google it and there are some shocking clips. Funnily enough britax make these chairs for the Scandinavian market but very hard to get hold of in the UK which is a bit

Sorry off topic but seeing as we're doing a public safety announcement on car seats!

Original poster

SqutterNutBaush · 15/05/2014 12:30

I don't drive but I'm looking into ERF too as its much more affordable and accessible now in the UK but I realise not everyone wants to do that.

Some of the babies are 8 months and the parents have mentioned that they need to get it sorted before 9 months so I don't think its misunderstanding the groups.

I have tried to mention ISize regulations being that the seats being produced now need to accommodate a baby of at least 15 months but just got a few different answers such as baby needs to face forward as the feet touch the back seat, they need to see where they are going and but its easier to pass stuff back to them if their facing you.

Its not the parents that annoy me its the lack of information put out by professionals and I really don't understand why ERF isn't being more widely promoted given that its supposed to be 5x safer!

OP posts:

Original poster

SqutterNutBaush · 15/05/2014 12:31

They're not their

OP posts:

whereisthewitch · 15/05/2014 12:35

A friend has just put her 7mo in the next stage seat and her 2yo into the booster with just a seat belt. TBH I say nothing because it's none of my business and I doubt she'd care what my opinion is on the matter. Makes me sad though that people can't be arsed to even do some basic safety research when it comes to their kids.

lynniep · 15/05/2014 12:40

I get the 'look' with the high back boosters too. Especially when grandma (my MIL) visits. Do they really need to go in those? They take up a lot of space don't they? (DS1 is 7) I don't understand why you still have them. What you actually bought a new one for DS2? (4) What a waste of money. etc etc

I don't think it is actually. I think that an extra safety precaution for my precious children at just over a hundred quid per child which will last a few years is a bargain. plus they are nice and comfy.

eltsihT · 15/05/2014 12:42

Oh poop I didn't realise the weight limit on them was 13kg, I was merrily waiting for ds 2's head to reach the top but he is already 13kg so I had better go get him a new one... Sobs

fifi669 · 15/05/2014 12:47

DPs ex is trying to tell him his DD needs to be on a booster seat only now. She's only 3. I think some people equate the next stage seat to growing up faster.

CrispyFB · 15/05/2014 12:47

Several years ago in the US I was visiting a friend and we had DC2 (then 18 months and very short and light) in her Maxi Cosi Priorifix. My friend told me that we were breaking the law by having her rear facing past a year

Not being an expert on US laws I just said "oh well, it's legal in the UK" and then checked later (she was totally wrong of course) and mentioned it next time I saw her. She was genuinely surprised, and I wonder how many people think it is the law to have them forward-facing by a certain age?

Onsera3 · 15/05/2014 12:51

Yes I can't understand the rush! I was gutted to not be able to have an infant carrier anymore. DS had to move up at 7mo as he was 12kg and couldn't fit his arms beside him.

We had to fork out a fortune for an ERF that still had good recline options for a sleeping baby so his head wouldn't loll forward. There wasn't much around.

Now they are changing the guidelines to 15 mo are they not?

www.thebabyshow.co.uk/blog/2013/08/i-size-introduced-the-new-regulation-for-child-car-seat-safety/

It seems there are now going to be more of these seats around which is a good thing. I wish there had been more options readily available for us last year.

Oldraver · 15/05/2014 12:54

I have never got the 'rush' to get them into the next size seat.. I see it lots on my FB accompanied by pictures of the big boy/girl. Its like its seen as very clever of them for getting into the next stage so quickly. I know there are a minority of children who are larger and need ot move up. But so many I see a little things being rammed into these seats

TheScience · 15/05/2014 12:58

I don't really get it as I find it so much easier to use a seat that attaches to the buggy chassis. DS1 stayed in his infant seat until almost 18 months.

MiaowTheCat · 15/05/2014 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummyPigsFatTummy · 15/05/2014 13:01

I also hate and don't understand the rush to get children to move up a stage in car seats. Utter madness. For those whose relatives/friends are against high-back booster seats, I don't know if they would be more impressed by the fact that Which state on their website that they will not even review booster seats without high backs as they regard them as dangerous regardless of the age of the child and so every one of them would be a Which "Don't Buy".

I just found this out as I was reviewing which high back booster seat to get for DD who has just grown out of her car seat.

RabbitSaysWoof · 15/05/2014 13:02

I went to an in car safety center to find out the best seat for my nearly 1 year old in my car and the really nice lady there said that the neck of an under 1 is not yet strong enough to withstand the head being thrown forwards in an accident, and to think of the amount of adults who get whiplash, on a baby that could be a broken neck. She recommended to stay rear facing as long as is safely possible as the infant carriers keep spine and head in a nice straight line and they would just get that momentary waltzer effect into their seats on impact.

bronya · 15/05/2014 13:07

We were told to keep DS in his rear facing 0+ seat until he was one, unless he reached 13kg before then. In the end, we swapped at about 11 months, ONLY because we were going into an ERF seat. He'll have that until he's four, and it is so worth the money. He's so comfy in it, loves being higher up and able to look out of the window, and rarely argues about being put in it. I feel happy that he's as safe as possible too!

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