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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Art sale at son's school

145 replies

Bardette · 14/05/2014 22:23

Genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable but...
Next week is sports day at ds school. School have announced that there will be an Art display in the hall with one framed piece of work by each child. After perusing the display we can then buy our child's piece for £8. Ds knows about this and has told me I have to rush to make sure no one buys his picture before me! AIBU in being a bit cross at being forced to do this? It's not even a like they have chosen the children's best work, they all had to sit down and paint a tree over a couple of afternoons last week.

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 12:31

Get onto the PTA and fund raise in a way that is acceptable to you!

^

THIS

BomChickaMeowMeow · 15/05/2014 12:33

Far worse than the OP's example is this. One year group in the school is having a themed day where an external company is coming in to facilitate activities. Parents of children in that year group have been asked to pay not a small amount for that day. Schools cannot actually charge for activities taking place during the school day, so it should have been expressed as a donation, but if enough people don't pay it won't go ahead - as with a school trip. It wasn't expressed like this though, it was expressed as a demand for payment. I have happily paid, but have contacted the school about how the note was worded. Rather than start a thread about it on the internet.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 12:35

They're not allowed to demand payment.
What idiots.
I too would complain about this.

morethanpotatoprints · 15/05/2014 12:39

They have done similar in every school my dc attended.
We had T shirt designs, coasters, t towels.
I just refused to get involved and others did too, the dc have to learn to suck it up as there are parents who like this type of thing unfortunately.
It doesn't do the dc any harm to learn that some people have money for stuff like this and others don't.
You can always get them to do something for you at home instead and make a great deal out of this, have it framed, printed etc.

Retropear · 15/05/2014 12:44

Fetes with very low prices and great ideas,cake sales (every week a class has a turn,brings in loads and you can either send cakes in or buy), discos with tuck stall,a scholastic book sales(no pressure to buy),second hand school uniform...there have been loads of other things but I can't rem,will wreck my brains.I have to say ours do a good job,raise loads and it's very inclusive.You can support as little or as much as you like in various ways.

jellybeans · 15/05/2014 12:46

I had to pay almost 30 quid for my 4!!! YANBU. On the plus side though I still enjoy looking at the pics,they are lovely.

Retropear · 15/05/2014 12:49

Re kids being left out.

Not going to a fete many won't go to is entirely different to seeing your art work you worked hard on not bought and left on display when parents have bought other children's work.It sends out a very neg message and could be quite damaging.

Considering it often won't even be about a parent not valuing a piece of work but instead just not having the cash to buy it it's both unnecessary and unkind.

Again how would you explain why a child's work hadn't been bought to an upset child or to a sibling why his brother's was bought but not his?

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/05/2014 12:55

DanBamboo suggestions for your PTA - we have had a lot of success getting sponsorship from estate agents. Ours are very keen to support local schools because, generally seaking, better schools mean higher house prices which mean greater fees for estate agents. They usually get some advertising out of it (e.g. they pay us £10 a board to advertise our events for us outside parents' houses using their sales boards) but mainly donate money to try to improve the school, so I think having their name splashed about is less important to them. You could try suggesting your PTA approach estate agents in your area.

We do a fun run for the kids one weekend a year - everyone who wants to is allowed to particpate, kids get a free T-shirt (paid for by the estate agents and other local businesses) for taking part and a medal on completion. They are asked to pledge to try to raise £5 but are not made to. It's probably our biggest event, more than a third of the kids participated last year and it raised thousands (average raised is over to £10/kid). More than the fundraising, the kids talk about it all year and seem to love it.

We also do school uniform sales - parents donate the uniform, we charge 50p an item. Creates a steady income stream and helps out families by providing a source of low cost uniform (which is more important to our PTA than maximising income, but you could charge more).

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 12:56

Retro yes fairly standard ideas.
Fairly low prices for a fete? I'm a bit Hmm here.

Lets say entry is £1 (adult only), child does games at a couple of stalls (50p each - cheap), has an ice cream (£1 - cheap), one turn on the bouncy castle or some other such game (£1 - cheap).

That's still £4! That's a lot to some and some can't afford it. Better not have a fete then!

Cake sales - what if some parent never makes any to take in and never buys any either?

Same for discos! Some kids can't afford to be there - can't have them being upset.

Same for bookstall!

I could argue against doing any of these things for various reasons, mostly that the poorest, underprivileged children will feel left out.

You can support as little or as much as you like in various ways
I agree with this, although this somewhat contradicts what you said earlier if you accept that support isn't just about financial donation.

You still haven't answered my assembly question either.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 12:57

Again how would you explain why a child's work hadn't been bought to an upset child or to a sibling why his brother's was bought but not his?

That's really not down to the school now is it.

BomChickaMeowMeow · 15/05/2014 12:58

At cake sales I have just given the kid the cake if they didn't have enough money.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:02

As I've said, a colour copy (cost 10p) can be put up on the board to replace the purchased one so the children don't know. That way the school raises money.

Anyway, we're splitting hairs here. It is nigh on impossible to ensure all kids are included, you can't make parents get involved or cough up cash. That doesn't mean schools shouldn't raise money so that all children can benefit. It does mean that they should do it sensitively.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:03

At cake sales I have just given the kid the cake if they didn't have enough money

We do this too.
Sometimes they've just forgotten and bring it the next day, other times they don't. Nobody cares.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:04

And thanks boom for the suggestions. We've never done a fun run. I will suggest it.

Retropear · 15/05/2014 13:07

No our prices are low,no entry fee for fetes. They often have free attractions too.Disco very cheap.

We've often been away and my dc haven't been bothered if they didn't go.

Re the cakes I make but don't often buy as I can't abide the scrum,again kids don't care and are keen to get home as I keep back some I've made.

Not buying something they've worked hard on in school and bigged up,leaving it on display whilst other parents buy their dc's would devastate them and say to my DS who already thinks he's crap at art that I don't value his work.

Yet again how do you explain this to these kids and in particular the siblings whose work you haven't bought when you've bought their sister or brothers?

In a year of school photos,class photos,Xmas cards,expensive to rips,other fund raiding,charity work,mufti days,special school dinners etc £24 for 3 is too much,even £15 would be.

Retropear · 15/05/2014 13:08

Sorry it is down to the school as the poor class teachers will be left dealing with it.

What do you expect parents to say?

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:12

Well what do you say to the kid whose parents don't show up to their assemblies? How do you handle that?

Let's just be clear here - I do think £8 is too much - we don't totally disagree.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:13

Anyway, is that likely?
That a parent would buy one child's picture, but not the others?
I guess that could theoretically happen, but what are the odds?

Tanith · 15/05/2014 13:14

Damnbamboo you forget that many children are not picked up by their parents. As a childminder collecting from more than one school, every cake sale, art sale etc. costs me a small fortune, contributions to a school that my kids don't even attend. I have one parent who ensures I have the money for her son; the rest expect me to pay.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:15

No our prices are low,no entry fee for fetes. They often have free attractions too.Disco very cheap

We're going round in circles here.

But £4 is still a lot for some, regardless as to how it accumulates.
Regardless, you accept that your school could be making more but choose not to (fair enough) and but you must also still see that even the low disco's and cheap fete's are still too costly for some.

Retropear · 15/05/2014 13:16

Less likely to happen as parents aren't being excluded by price.

Oh stalls at school events ie nice refreshments are another thing they do.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:17

Damnbamboo you forget that many children are not picked up by their parents

I'm not forgetting anything. It's not a consideration. If you don't want/can't afford to pay - make sure the parents give you the money in advance. Just don't pay. If the children ask why not, say mummy/daddy didn't give me any money.

My boys go to after school club BTW.

DamnBamboo · 15/05/2014 13:19

Less likely to happen than what?

So if it's less likely, then never mind. It's only 4 kids that can't participate instead of 40 so we'll go ahead. Is that what you're saying?

Retropear · 15/05/2014 13:20

Damn you spend what you can afford.I've often given mine a £1 and they decide what they'll spend it on.We've often not even gone.My dc are often not even aware it's on.Discos are every term so some they'll go to and others they won't.

Re one piece of art at one event there is no scope for paying what you can afford and it sends out a very neg message.Yes we are going round in circles as you seem to be happy to ignore this.

Tanith · 15/05/2014 13:20

Typical to exclude and discriminate against children attending a childminder setting just because the school runs an after school club. Well used to that attitude!