To wonder if it's possible for your sexuality to change?

[ACatCalledColin]

Up until a couple of years ago I would have said I was straight. I went through a phase during my early to mid teens of finding girls attractive however as I also found boys attractive too, I identified as bisexual during that time. However when I was around 16 or so I went off girls completely and from then was only into boys. I put liking girls in my early teens down to being confused and just figuring out who I was.

However about a couple of years ago I started noticing women more and more and right now I only seem to be attracted to women, not men. Even though I've enjoyed having sex with men in the past, the thought of having sex with a man now is just off putting, even repellent.

Is it really possible for your sexuality to change though? I've always thought that you were either gay, straight or bisexual and that was that. It's something you're 'born' with so to speak.

I've read theories recently that sexuality is fluid and isn't set in stone and can and does change, but how does that work?

I think sexuality is quite a fluid thing. Not sure whether it can change but imagine it more as a spectrum than a black or white thing. For example, some "straight" people would never do anything with someone of the same gender. Others would kiss or fool around and still consider themselves straight. I imagine some bi people have only actually had experiences with one gender but are attracted to the other etc.

I also think it sexuality is often a very fluid thing and can change.

I've seen it happen to a lot of people, male and female.

I don't believe you have to nail your colours (as it were) to a sexuality and stick to it.

This has happened to me - I am drawn to women in a way I'm not to men.

But I don't know if I'm gay or bi or what!

I don't think you need to pin a label on yourself and be defined so narrowly, in fact I think that's a pretty awful thing to do to yourself.

I have always been of the opinion that you are attracted to a person, not a gender.

I also think it's fluid but IMO (and it's probably wrong) but it's probably easier for it to be fluid if you're bisexual. I mean, this is just what I think, I don't want to offend anyone! I just think it's probably easier for someone to like one sex over another if they're already comfortable liking both sexes anyway. Does that make sense?

whynow it's strange isn't it? I'm not sure if my sexuality actually has changed throughout my life or if it's simply the fact I've always been bisexual but during the time I was only attracted to men it was simply a case of there not being any women around who I liked. Vice versa for when I'm only attracted to women.

I think it's fluid. In my early twenties I went through a phase of being very into girls, fooling around with and sleeping with a few. I never defined it as anything and identified as straight even then. Nowadays I really only fancy men and am not drawn to women at all.

That may all change again one day- who knows?

It changes. I'm asexual, and always have been, but many asexuals are this way for part of their life only. Many heterosexuals in single sex situations, such as prison/ army experience alterations in their sexuality which later change again. Most teens go through stages of homosexuality.

There's lots of research evidence showing that women's sexuality, in particular, is very fluid. The vast majority of gay men come out in their teens and early twenties, but women come out at all stages of their lives. I'm lesbian; the large majority of my lesbian friends have had heterosexual relationships. And many of my heterosexual friends used to be lesbian.

I've never liked the idea that you have a 'true' sexuality that you discover. People have different opportunities, and choices, at different times. We live in a more tolerant society, so more people will take advantage of those options.

Q. What's the difference between a straight girl and a bi girl?

A. Three or four glasses of wine.

I am sure that for some people it is fluid, or is not 100% one way or the other.