AIBU in thinking you should wipe...

[TiggyD]

...dog's bottoms after they poo? Have people never heard of hi jean? And then these dogs sit on sofas and old people and children. It's wrong not to give their under-tail region a quick polish afterwards. KFC finger wipes would be an ideal thing for dog owners to carry with them for the porpoise of canine rim sanitation. Somebody should write to Mr Give.

does Tina Turner impression

Whoaaaaah, what's Jean got to do, got to do with it

I must admit though, I'm more disturbed by the idea of wiping a porpoise's backside.

Fuck you all, I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room, trying to snigger quietly!

I'm very glad I don't own a pet.

I wonder how you sneeze if you have a blow-hole? Any Wales experts out there?

I'm sure cats are very clean down below. They all seem rather obsessed with cleaning, but I still worry about dogs. They need wiping. I need to start a "bag it and wipe it" campaign. I'll get put on money and win the nobble prize for services for cream carpets.

The nobble prize

waits for somebody Welsh to get offended

The only time you should be near your dogs arsehole is when they eat party popper streamers and you have to pull them out.

tequila , what if you get really good phone reception there?

there's an old lady over the road from me who lets her pooch out to poo on the communal green, then wipes her dogs bum with a strip of loo roll, all very well until she drops it and the wind brings it to my garden and wraps it straight round my DDs leg while dog lady stands there and just goes "oops". Grrrr!

I am wondering what ive got to do with it- I am not wiping any dogs backsides!
This would be why I dont have a dog!

I am really trying not to laugh as I'm at work but I can't help it, this is just too funny!
I cracked up at "nobble prize" (thanks for pointing that out WolfMoon I skip read it and missed it first time!)

Just for the record, I don't have any dogs but I do have 2 rabbits and I have to clean 1 of their arses quite regularly! Not a fun job...

My cat's arsehole is as clean as a whistle. I know this because he shoves his arse in my face when he comes to sit on me

Talking of cats arseholes, do you ever get the urge to poke something up there?

My cat is always strutting around waving his arse, even the dog rolls his eyes at him these days. I often have to fight the urge to poke a pencil or something in there

Obviously I'm not going to, but it's quite tempting when he's sticking it in my face

Speaking of emptying the dogs anal glands (well you were on page 1) i had this, quite frankly outrageous conversation with my mum a few weeks ago (they have a particularly smelly old spaniel and when i arrived the house hummed):

Me: eww what's that smell?
Mum: x (dogs name) has got some kind of blockage and her anal glands aren't draining.
Me: ewwwww that's gross
Mum: Yeah...that reminds me. i'm glad you popped round as i need someone to drain them manually...
Me: err what?!
Mum: All you have to do is feel round her bum and when you find the swollen smelling sack, massage them so the fluid comes out while i hold her...
Me: NO. FUCKING. WAY. have you lost your mind? there's no way i'm doing that. bleeeurch

Mum: oh come on - i've got no one to help me
Me: what about dad!??!!
Mum: I CAN'T ask dad !

Oh my, so very funny...trying so hard not to snigger at work! Never noticed my dog having a dirty arse, excluding the stuck grass episodes, when she then feels the need to turn round in circles on the bloody rug if I don't notice quick enough! Though I do find it quite funny seeing the dog trying to screw herself into the floor.

He says no

Depends on what they've eaten as to whether dogs have

1. A clean experience
2. A bum scoot on your carpet or

3.Full on gloves with shower hose attachment Cats wash their own, dogs don't usually & I've heard of anal gland massage but how do you know when your pooch needs it?? So YABU & YANBU, depending on the needs at the time!

Stinkle

I think you'd like this...

My cat has a freckle on her arsehole.... its quite funny when people check* that it is just a freckle.

• Staring at it not trying to wipe it off

You should get your dog a rear cover

Seems to me that owning a dog is like being one of those magicians that pulls strings of flags out of hats, except the hat is an animal's anus.

I think I'll stick to human friends, who rarely come to me for bum conjuring.

Sorry about typos today. I was doing it on my phone as I was out taking in the delights of Virgin ear water today. I saw a totem pole and a fish and a garden and elevnty billion flowers. It was good.

sothat - yes! I definately do want one of those

I'm sorry but i'm lmao here. Hi Jean?!! Pmsfl