please tell me i should do this

[lemondriz]

So dp has decided to a total prick.....,we have never had an easy relationship and every1 I know including his own family agree dp is major hard work.... At the moment our relationship is -broken- at breaking point!!! he used to smoke quit to have dd2 I discovered him smoking and he -lied- said he would never do it again after a whole load of other lies about it was just 1 etc. Now have caught him again.. Smoking although not great isn't the big deal it's the bare faced lying.....
.so huge row, dp now hasn't
come home!!!he Has now done this a few times now and already stays out a lot for work at a friend as he doesn't drive.... So he gets night off lie in and drinks with friends and I'm stuck at home with kids haging not had a night out ordered a break since new yr 2012 I now have pnd as I am not coping!! tonight I had the idea of just disappearing and booking into a hotel for the night to teach him a lesson. Big problem tho dd 7.5m
is bf and won't take a bottle.. She is,on 3 meals a day and will take a little milk from a beaker.. Should I do.it or is it too unfair on her?

[RedRoom]

Do you mean how do I know she will take it from her father? I don't. But when someone has PND and is utterly desperate, they may have to start trying to see if she will do, so that they get a break.

[Nomama]

Jesus.

We have a woman who sounds like she had reached the end of her tether and, despite the fact she has not come back to tell us she is OK, you are still arguing about the baby being OK/not OK for one night.

Way to go folks - it is always the woman who should suffer. Always the woman who is in the wrong if she wants/needs a break! Wonderful attitude!

lemondrix - you know you should be able to leave the kids with their dad. NU at all.

BUT you probably also know it won't solve your problem in the long run.

Did you manage to talk to him to let him know your tether is about to snap? Have you told him that you too need the odd escape days and, just as you are his escape hatch he must be yours?

I hope so. And I hope the reason you haven't posted is because you have taken off for the day and are doing something relaxing and sleepy.

[JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets]

Nomama, what the actual fuck? Everyone is expressing their concern for her baby first and foremost. That little helpless, dependent, innocent being with a very tired mum and an absent dad.

[Nomama]

What the actual fuck, indeed!?

There is defence for the dad, it is so hard to tell the truth/quit smoking, and then 'don't do it it wouldn't be fair on the baby'

So babies can't ever be left with anyone else? What about 6 month old's in nursery.

Give the poor woman a break, not a complex!

[RedRoom]

nomama Exactly. OP wants to go away for one evening. One. The 'it wouldn't be fair on the poor, helpless, dependent, innocent, vulnerable, suffering, tiny baby' comments are really getting on my nerves. All of those words have been used. Very few people have expressed equal concern about her post natal depression and comment that she isn't coping (Sorry to talk about you in 3rd person, Lemondriz).

The baby has two parents and will drink milk from a beaker. Is she supposed to be a milk machine chained to her baby and not have a break since New Year 2012 whilst dad goes out at night and has lies in? This 'poor suffering baby' stuff is meant to make her feel bad and guilty, but she is not the only parent her baby has! Yes, in an ideal world, dad would be taking more responsibility but she can only deal with the situation that she has got right now.

That is my opinion. I accept that other opinions are available.