To join fat club or put gastric surgery on the credit card?

[AtYourCervix]

I am fat. Very fat. Much fatter than anyone should be.

I've tried everything and failed miserably. I am a miserable fat failure.

So. The option.

1. Fat club.

1. Surgery.

I did sw fat club about a hundred years ago and lost a few stone but over the last 9 years it's steadily piled back on plus more.

I have an hour to convince myself.

It used to really piss me off when I got referrals for people wanting bariatric surgery for reasons such as 'diets don't work for them' or 'the patient's job makes it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle'
They seemed to think the surgery was going to wave a magic wand and they'd be skinny and all their problems would be solved. It won't. Not only is the surgery risky in itself but it won't cure self esteem issues or food relationship issues.
It was saddening the patients who had diabetes, worn out knee joints, heart problems, feet problems all because they were overweight.
go to fat club, get support and learn to love yourself. You CAN Do it.

I was just going to say myfitnesspal.com too - You can add EVERYTHING, including food prep to it, as well as your food and its a really good way.
I am far too fat too, and my friend has been using mfp for a month and lost 10lb - if she can do it, I can do it and you can do it :)
I think the fact MFP tells you amounts for a serving helps too - its easy to "overpay" on the high calorie stuff without realising it

Just stay off their forums for a bit :)

I would say try Slimming World online which I'm doing at the moment. I tried the classes for a few weeks but couldn't stand how patronising they were so online suits me. My husband and I are doing it together so that certainly helps to keep us on track - do you have a friend / relative you could follow it at the same time?

I started in the first week of February this year and have so far lost 3 stone and 4 lbs. I was a size 24 and I'm currently an 18/20 - I need to lose about another 5 stone but I feel so much better already.

My constant lower back pain has gone, the pain in my lower legs when walking even short distances is getting easier and I can certainly move about more easily. My confidence is also slowly coming back and I'm taking more pride in my appearance.

I would say that you have to be in the right 'head space' to start though - I was about to turn 50 and planning a big trip abroad in 2015 which were the two spurs to finally do something. I knew my health would get worse if I didn't and I didn't want to ruin our holiday by worrying about squeezing into a plane seat and not being able to walk far on our trip.

Surgery would cost a fortune so it's well worth paying out a fiver a week to see if you can do it yourself first. You can do it!!!

Ditch the self loathing.

Self loathing, like fat shaming, do not work, if anything they sabotage you!

Oops. Should have refreshed, sorry!

My relationship with weight, food and myself is pretty fucked

I know you have said you don't want to, but your GP may well be able to refer you to people who can help tackle this side of things which could well be a massive chunk of the battle.

Until you can change your relationship with food it is going to be hard to overcome the problem. I was lucky that I was able to tackle it myself through sheer determination and have dropped 5 stone and 5 dress sizes in a year BUT it isn't easy and takes a whole lifestyle change and I still have weak moments.

I am part of a closed group on FB for the Charity HOOP (Helping Overcome Obesity Problems) and have found that very helpful for the kick up the arse/celebrate achievement/support side of things. Everyone is at various points in their weight loss journey and very understanding.

Where I am the local provider for support for weight management is WW and you can get 4 months free on the nhs. And any hcp can refer not just GPS so it might be worth asking the question.

Good luck

Personally I think you've made the right choice but I think you might need a bit more support (?therapist if you're willing)

You shouldn't talk about yourself like this. You are not repulsive nor pathetic or anything like that. Being overweight is multi-factorial and exploring the reasons for why you are overweight is as important as watching what you eat.

Good luck!

I've had a gastric band. Paid for it 3years ago.

Best thing I've ever done.

Healthy, no excess skin - cheaper food shops too!

Nobody Knowsley I had a band. Tis great. No judgement.

Oh and turns out I didn't need therapy. I was just greedy!

Not suggesting you are btw.

I had a gastric balloon. Cost 2 thousand pounds and lost mega weight and kept it off. It's non invasive and took about 20 minutes. I don't agree with the endless discouragement on here for any type of medical treatment. Life is short, better to live it than spend it miserable and sitting in smelly church halls being barked at by an instructor called Maureen who lost 42 stone and is now selling rip off diet products.

what about a hypno gastric band?

Sorry but lots of people are wrong about bands on here...

Risks of surgery shouldn't be underrated however.

I think you need some help with sorting out your relationship with food, yourself and your body before you do anything else tbh. Because without addressing that you can lose weight, but you'll put it back on.

I have a lovely friend who has lost 8 stone 5 times in her life so far - Atkins, Slimming World, and more recently Lighter Life. And put it all back on as she eats when shes sad, when shes happy, when she wants a hug etc etc etc and none of this breaks that, or addresses why shes miserable most of the time. Breaks my heart.

Can you be totally honest with what you're eating?
Can you keep a food diary? There are apps which will help. My fitness pal is the best known.

Once you know what you're eating could you reduce the quantity? Instead of three slices of toast with butter, cut it to one slice.

Walk a few miles a day, work out what this equals in food?

Don't diet, but educate yourself into what you're eating, what that really means in energy. Look at what energy you're expending throughout the day. Find a balance.

The old adage ... Eat less, move more.

OP, I don't know how much you weigh in pounds, but I was once a bigger clothes size than you. At my peak, I wore a size 24-26 and weighed over 19 stone. I lost approx 9+ stone. No gastric bands here. I did it with weight watchers (I needed to keep track and that was the best way to do it) and I'm now using no refined sugar to maintain. It's not an obsessive way of eating, I still eat fruit and carbs, it's just what works for me.

Good luck with whatever you do, but please don't resort to surgery without at least trying the healthy eating way first.

You'd still have to change your eating habits if you had the surgery. What about hypnosis - not the app, but someone you can speak to, discuss concerns with and get some support from. This is the sort of thing thats available hypnotichealing.co.uk/course/ so a few options.

Atyourcervix - you're a midwife no?

I noticed loads and loads of very overweight midwives when I was on placement at a local hospital maternity unit.

I wonder if the stress and exhaustion of your job (are you a hospital midwife?) is undermining your ability to lose weight.

I eat when I'm tired and stressed. I can eat and eat and eat.

My new weight loss plan involves me going to bed earlier, taking more exercise, having a rest when I feel tired, and doing lots and lots of relaxation. Oh, plus eating fruit and veg only until dinner time (plus shed loads of strong coffee). No cake/biscuits/shite except maybe once or twice a month. I've lost 10lbs so far, in about 3 weeks. If I'm tired I eat. I eat the same food as the rest of the family in the evening, but a small portion. Like a child's portion. It works for me as it's not too complicated.

Can I just add another vote for the hypno gastric band? It really does work and it's really cheap. Honestly, you can start tonight and see how you go. It works for me.

I am losing a steady six pounds a month with WW. I started at a size 22, I'm nearly an 18, now. Started in March.

You are not a failure. Be kinder to yourself.

Try the diet and consider counselling to get to the root of your overeating.

Lots of luck.

I have two friends one male one female. Male friend was 29 stone and had gastric bypass on NHS he went on to loose 15 stone - he has regained 5 stone and has to work hard at maintaining his weight. My female friend was border line qualifying for gastric surgery but paid privately £9,000.00 and had a gastric by pass she lost 3.5 stone and has regained almost 2 stone. it has been a long road for them both. As op's have said gastric bypass/band is a tool. It does not address any issues you have with food and therefore you tend to fall into original eating patterns. I too need to loose weight - 5 stone :( but slimming clubs drive me nuts and yet if I don't join one I can't get motivated. As others have said exercise seems to be key and perhaps a 30 minute walk every day would be a start and maybe lead you to look at other aspects of your life such as diet. I've also read good things about hypnosis perhaps that would be worth a go? Plenty of apps available to download . Good Luck :)

Paul Mckenna has a new book/cd out about emotional eating and also a previous hypnotic gastric band book - would something like that be of help?

A mixture of WW and CBT helped me

I have been doing 5:2 for a few months, and have dropped a dress size. I am a similar size.

Worth considering?