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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be completely fed up with my colleague

17 replies

pingufan · 13/05/2014 17:19

I work with another woman in a small team of two.

She's highly competitive over everything. And I mean everything. I can cope with it to a certain extent but lately she's been worse than ever, I get particularly irritated over how she can see no wrong in her kids whatsoever. She has two, one at home around 20 and a 16 yr old about to do her gcses this week.

My kids are a bit younger but she will readily compare mine with hers.

Naturally I chat about my kids day to day stuff but I'm learning not too as hers always eat healthier food, are brainier, are more sporty, more polite, more attractive, even taller ffs. If I say something a bit negative about my kids (as kids are prone to not always be angels) hers would never do/ say / act / that.

In reality the daughter hardly ever seems to be in school - it's never her fault tho as she's ill / has a bad period / injures herself because she's so sporty / aching because she's so tall / tired as she's been out volunteering etc

The boy dropped out of uni as he was Ill over some vital exams in the first year ( again not his fault of course, he was Ill) he's got a temp job now though and he's clearly taking the pee by fleecing her for money at every opportunity but he's in the nhs don't you know and destined to go far.

Final straw today, she came in late, daughter was ill conveniently on the morning of her first gcse - not her fault now if she doesn't do well, also her teacher has been away and she doesn't click with the supply.

Today she's gone on and on just absolutely ridiculous stuff like the school doesn't say anything about the poor attendance of the daughter as she's such a whizz kid and gets top marks In everything that they can't say anything to her - which is balls as my son goes to the same school and they are keen on good attendance.

Don't feel I can tell her to stfu as she's a nice woman in many ways but this obsession in one upmanship over the kids is absolutely ridiculous!!!

OP posts:
ViviPru · 13/05/2014 17:21

I'd be looking for another job.

pingufan · 13/05/2014 17:25

Hell no I've been there 20 yr, her 1yr don't see why I should leave!!

OP posts:
Cushioney · 13/05/2014 17:33

waits for someone to post how they love working from home so never have any of these problems

Hoppinggreen · 13/05/2014 17:35

I love working from home, never have these problems :)
I do have to deal with clients being arses though.
Smile and ignore this woman, don't engage. Just a vague " hmm, that's nice" and change the subject should do it

hotcrosshunny · 13/05/2014 17:37

Maybe a new job would do you good runs

Just smile and nod.

takeiteasybuttakeit · 13/05/2014 17:38

That sounds really really really annoying. Why is she chatting so much at work? Can you get earphones or something? Working from home is great, never have those problems. When ever I've to go into an office I can't believe the rubbishy chit-chat - gah!

pingufan · 13/05/2014 17:40

Thanks, yes I usually smile and nod. The things she says about her perfect kids are sometimes outrageous though, some days I'm laughing inside at it, others (like today) I've had enough.

OP posts:
grovel · 13/05/2014 17:45

The poor woman defines herself by her kids' achievements. Ergo, failings have to be glossed over. It'll have an unhappy ending for her.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 13/05/2014 17:45

You know she's lying to cover up how crap her kids are, and it's all probably due to her poor parenting. In your place I'd make a few outrageously untrue things for her to out-compete you with. And then laugh to yourself about how pathetic she is.

Roseformeplease · 13/05/2014 17:51

It sounds to me as if she is over-compensating for her children's inadequacies. She has one school refuser and another who dropped out of Uni. Maybe, next time, just say to her, "It is so good you are able to be so positive about your children when they so clearly give you so much to worry about."

pingufan · 13/05/2014 17:52

I just think her kids are ordinary. Just like mine. They probably have their good points and their bad like all human beings.

I just can't understand why she feels the need to make out that they are perfect kids who never fail at anything unless of course it's not their fault. Everything negative that ever happens to her, husband or the kids is always someone else's fault. Never theirs. Listening to her It sounds like her and her hubby have made poor choices through their lives wrt jobs, houses, cars, money but none of it was ever their fault.

And she's like it about the kids something dreadful!

OP posts:
pingufan · 13/05/2014 17:54

She doesn't appear to worry about either of her kids as of course all the negative things that happen to them are never their fault so it's out of her control....gah, thanks everyone, she's done my swede I today it's good to vent!

OP posts:
BMW6 · 13/05/2014 20:11

Oh I'd take the piss big time - "My goodness, your children are SO ...clever.. talented... tall... (whatever she is wittering on about) you are sooooo lucky".

Just lay it on with a trowel and a big smile, agree with her and laugh up your sleeve. Grin

alemci · 13/05/2014 20:14

I have a friend like that. her home is bigger, her dc cleverer etc. so competitive. she has more money.

just don't engage with her

Universal · 13/05/2014 20:15

I love working from home as I don't have to put up with this shit. No, hang on I miss it or do I?

I feel your pain. Devise a strategy. Ignore. Ignore. Say silly things in your head.

nameuschangeus · 13/05/2014 20:18

OP I could have written your post other than the fact that our children are slightly younger. It drives me mad too but I put up with her because I like my job very much.
I console myself with the thought that she must be bullshitting. It's not possible for children to be this perfect - or anyone for that matter. She just has to be top dog at everything and so I just let her get on with it.
Occasionally I'm able to catch her out in a porkie which makes me smile.

Infinity8 · 14/05/2014 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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