To ask how difficult it is to buy a gift for 4 yr old close relative?

[bakingtins]

DS2's 4th birthday tomorrow. Not a single gift has arrived for him from DH's side of the family. PILs have sent a card, from past experience will contain some money for him. Today I got an unwrapped present from Amazon, with no delivery note or gift message, it's Lego Creator age 7-12 year old. So now I have to decide whether to wrap it up and give it to him even though it's completely unsuitable, and put on my detective hat to work out who to thank from the possible multitudes who haven't bothered at all
I keep an Amazon gift list updated, with suggestions from a few pounds upwards, if they don't know what to get. He's very undemanding, would be perfectly happy with a wrapped up pot of Play-doh and a card.
Thankfully all my family have been in contact or used the list to choose a suitable gift, got them to us nicely wrapped before his birthday, with a card, so he will have presents to unwrap on the day.
AIBU to think they could make a token effort for their nephew/grandson??

They have made the effort though, they just didn't do what you'd hoped they would. Cash is good, Lego can be put away until he's old enough to play with it. Do you think your four year old will care?

If it's his birthday tomorrow, why are you assuming they haven't sent anything? People normally send things to arrive on the birthday don't they?

Also,don't write off the Lego, my 4 year old has managed to put together some quite complicated looking things (with a bit of help).

He was given some of the starter easy-to-put together Lego at Christmas and it was too complicated for him at the moment.

You're right, he probably won't care because we will ensure we make a big fuss of him. I'm just sad for him for the years when he will be old enough to wonder why his wider family don't bother.

Do they owe him something?

I know this is going to sound a bit MNsnippy, and I don't mean it that way, but he won't wonder if you let it be the norm rather than letting him think that he's somehow missing out. Neither I nor my husband received gifts from anyone other than our parents when we were children. Consequently, it seemed entirely normal to us and we never felt even remotely sad about it. Seriously, don't make a big deal of it, don't discuss it in his earshot, and it'll be absolutely fine. The only one who'll need to manage your expectations is you!

He won't care. Most children don't demand a big fuss, and they certainly wouldn't ever wonder why Uncle Nobby never sent a card. I've never had a birthday card from the majority of my parents' siblings, and I've never sent them one.

Its not his birthday yet. If no presents have arrived by thursday you will have a point but not right now.

And yes, he'll only care if you make it an issue. If he is upset about it that will be your doing for making it an issue.

I think that's a great present for a four year old. He'll soon grow into it and in the mean time can just build whatever he likes from the bricks.

You could send a group text to family asking who sent the lovely lego set. Might jog a few memories to get cards in the post? (Which reminds me, I have two to post.)

We have vast heaps of Lego already from older brother so will put it in the birthday box for someone aged7-12 who will actually appreciate it in future, but a group text or email as Bernice suggested is a good idea, or I will be in the doghouse for not being suitably effusively grateful.
I'm taking on board the majority view that IABU and PSB (if that's a 'thing') so will lower my expectations accordingly.

I know what you mean, the people with the least money are the most creative and generous givers in our family and the ones who are soooo well off...are the stingiest.

However be grateful for the money...you can buy what you want or put it away..