Quick background. My H and I have had some difficulties through out our relationship, mostly communication issues. When things got tough I opened a saving account and saved my own money. Not 'secretly' but I didn't make it obvious. Anyway, we seperated for a while and have reconciled and things are much better then Before. So to last night:
I told him about the saving account. It was starting to feel like a secret now as things are much better I felt I had no real reason to keep it quiet.
He claimed it didn't bother him and he wasn't annoyed and made little jokes etc and things seemed fine. But then over he next hour he made jokes that clearly weren't jokes, he became quiet and withdrawn and made sullen comments - even his voice became sullen and low. And then eventually came out with this nugget 'I don't know why you are making this a big deal. You want me to be annoyed at you. You trying to start a fight'
I of course stated I wasn't as I wasn't at all. I had even started the conversation saying 'I know this won't be easy to hear so hear me out the whole way' and explained completely about the circumstances of opening the account 'privately'.
He then said that he isn't surprised as I do things behind his back cos that's how I am. He used this example:
When he was in Algeria last year and I was alone with DD for 2 weeks my family came over one day, and we had lunch and all the kids were together etc. Apparently this was a 'party' and I had done it secretly. I had told him about it before he went away so hardly a secret but he mentions it often.
I left him alone the rest of the evening as he always said he needs space etc so I have him that. This morning he hasn't said 1 word to me.
AIBU here? To expect a) him to act like a grown up and b) to expect him to apologise for his behaviour and for accusing me of constantly going behind his back?
He will come home from work today and act like everything is fine. If I want a happy life then I can't mention the issue cos then 'I'll be starting an argument and refusing to get over it'
But I'm so pissed off that he thinks it's ok to treat me like that and then to give me silent treatment like I'm a naughty child.
AIBU??
Thanks