To be really hurt by someone saying I've got fat?

[JulietBravoJuliet]

Regular customer and local village odd bloke walked into the shop where I work today, looked me up and down and said, "God you've piled weight on! You're getting really fat!"

I told him to fuck off. I can't abide the bloke anyway, as he's rude at the best of times, but this was the final straw. He tried to backtrack and say he was only joking and that it was the clothes I was wearing that made me look fat, and I said that I know he's fairly stupid but surely even he's not stupid enough to think that is an acceptable thing to say to anyone!

It made me feel self conscious and upset and I burst into tears after he'd left and put my coat on to hide under. It's really bothered me. I'm under no illusions that I'm some slim, attractive woman as I know I'm not (5ft 7 and size 16) but I have very little confidence at the best of times, and this throwaway comment has really upset me.

AIBU to have taken this to heart so much? I know I need to lose weight, but I'm recovering from a slipped disc and a brain injury (alongside an under active thyroid which I'm on medication for) so I'm limited how much exercise I can do, and , sadly, without exercise, weight just does not come off me.

YANBU. One day these stupid people will learn to keep their fucking unwelcome comments to themselves.

No wonder you are upset, what a horrible things to say! If it makes you feel any better, I'm considerably shorter than you and the same size. You are average. I find it hard to exercise too.

You're not being unreasonable in the slightest. Dear god, some people are so bloody thick and insensitive. My weight has changed recently due to illness and so many people think nothing of announcing out loud in front of others how much I've changed. I loathe it and find it mortifying. Bodies and body image are intensely private things. I'm sorry he was such an utter idiot to you. Its definitely his problem, not yours.

You can use weight if you want to, when you're ready and able.

That man will always be a rude dickhead.

lose, even.

YANBU.

He's a rude cunt.

I had a great aunt who I saw before a big family wedding that I'd got all glammed up for (I was a very not confident size 14 21 year old) Her only comment?

"Haven't you got fat - I wouldn't have recognised you."

What a prick. Next time he comes in adopt a look of sheer horror and say "My God! You've gotten really really ugly!" When he looks upset backtrack and say "oh sorry sorry, it's not you. It's your face."

Glad I'm not being over sensitive! I know I'm overweight, but I don't think I look that bad, and the top I was wearing today is one of the few I have that I actually feel pretty ok in. Well it was!!

The temptation to punch him was quite strong

Aw I'm sorry! What a shithead!

I've recently lost loadsa weight due to ill health and a few friends now think it's ok to go on about how big I was before and that I look great now. It's nice that I look great but I never felt fat before so thanks

It's not just about the weight though, is it? It's about the fact that he though he could throw all social convention out of the window and say whatever he liked to you. That's incredibly belittling and disrespectful. I'm glad you told him where to go.

YANBU.

Well done for pulling him up on it.

What do you mean the village odd bloke? Some sort of learning issues or something?

Either way it's good you pulled him up but usually those who hover about being a bit odd have some sort of LD and could have some issues with boundaries.

He'll probably not do it again though.

YANBU

He's a twat.

My uncle once saw me eating a meringue and said, "Should you be eating that?"

It was my WEDDING DAY.

People are grim. Sorry, OP. Also, you're pretty average size for the UK, and also, slightly taller than average, and also, being plump (as well you know!) doesn't mean you can't be gorgeous.

He is a twunt some people are just don't engage their brain before they speak. My usually lovely Uncle once said to me when I ordered pudding "well you look like your starving", I'm 5'2 and a 16 - 18 and really struggling with my weight at the moment so I can sympathise.

Do not let this man make you feel bad about your self!

I don't know whether he's got mental health issues or learning difficulties, but he's well known for being a bit strange. He does things like loiter in the bushes on the park and finds it funny to jump out and scare people, and stops people in the street to sing to (this guy is in his 60's BTW!).

No Yanbu at all. I know exactly how that feels. I was early 20s and started a new job, a couple of cleaners came into the kitchen where I was and one remarked to the other 'god she's ate all the pies'. It was a tiny kitchen and only us in there so it was definitely about me. I was about a size 12/14. Cheeky bitch, I should have put her in her place but I walked off with tears in my eyes.

YANBU
One of the customers where I work asked me if I was pregnant, I'm not. Why would you ask anyone that if you weren't sure? bitch :(

Sounds like he does have mental health issues. I would ignore him then.

He's a prick end of.

Don't worry about him ( hard I know )

Err people with LDs dont hovwr about being odd and being the village "odd person" gamerchick. What a thing to say.

Op yes he was rude. He sounds rather eccentric. Don't let it get you down.

unbelievable.

you aren't fat. But he is definitely unspeakably rude!

My size 16-18 mum once commented to a stranger that it was a hot day and he replied by saying ''well, it won't help that you're carrying a spare suitcase round with you'.

Some people are incredibly rude and thoughtless. It does sound as if he may have some mental health problems, and perhaps isn't a very sensitive communicator.

It doesn't matter to anyone but you if you have gained weight. You know your private medical reasons. Fuck him, indeed.

What an awful thing for him to say to you

From your subsequent posts though, it does sound as though he has a mental health issue.