Treat for my little granddaughter Sunday lunch for us both in well known pizza restaurant. Its crowded with families, loads of kids. Waiters and waitresses are lovely, granddaughter really enjoys the childrens menu food, and I love my huge tasty pizza. On table adjoining ours, a pair of yummy mummy types that seem straight out of Made In Chelsea loud, braying everyone listen to lovely US conversations, four fidgety, moaning, whining kids around 4 5 years old. I notice one of the yummy mummies is wearing blue plastic sorry, 'faux' snakeskin winkle-picker boots with sharp pointy toes ending about eight inches from where I assume her normal toes end. (OK not really pertinent to the story but I am wondering if were due a Sixties revival?)
Anyway, while little granddaughter is tucking into her meal, one of the kids on the adjoining table keeps on turning round, kneeling on her chair and giving granddaughter evils. I smile nicely at her, hoping shell turn back to her own table. She doesnt. Mum sees but does nothing. Little granddaughter is a bit nonplussed but tries to ignore her.
Then mum starts getting up from her seat, going between her table and ours, and bending right over her table to talk to the kids sitting opposite, with her backside literally in my granddaughters face. She is wearing the tightest, clingiest, semi-sheer black leggings ever (tucked into those blue winkle- picker boots) and while it is a sight that might gladden a gynaecologists heart, you dont want it in your face when youre eating your pizza Margarita, even if you're only four and have never heard of the term 'camel toe'.
Little granddaughter politely averted her eyes, but I felt like sticking my fork into her backside. But then I thought she might stab me back with those boots.