No wonder DILS are so hated....

[QuintessentiallyQS]

So I overheard my husband on the phone to his mum. I dont speak his language but I heard my name mentioned often enough.

So I asked him what that was all about. Oh Nothing. Go on tell me. Nothing, was just talking to my mum. So I give it a rest.

Later on he mentioned "mum really wants me to come visit". Ah. That explains it. Silly sod has used ME as an excuse why we cant.

It is a little unfair considering I have been urging him to take ds2 to see her over half term, and he does not want to take time off from work, due to holiday allowance. Why could he not just say that? "Sorry mum, I am in a new job and cant take holiday yet" would be so much better than indicating that evil daughter in law is ill, has exams, cant cope on her own with the kids, yadda yadda. (Perfectly fine coping with the kids when he travels for work)

Mummy's Boy. YANBU. My ex did this too, the cunt

We have not been to see her for 4 years! Now she is going to think that I am the reason...

No idea at all of the real reason?

Thought it was a typo & should have been MILs.

That's awful.

Tell him to bugger off & see her!

I'm thinking that she can't come to you?

I feel your pain. My exH used me as an excuse for anything he didn't want us to go to: in the end he believed himself and I became cast as a miserable stay at home (babysitter) while he f'd off to the pub with his Lairy mates. My children see more of their grandparents now than they ever did when I was married to their Dad.
I'd try and address this/nip it in the bud right now OP: it may not just bne him Mum he's using you as an excuse to.

She cant come. She came over for a weekend trip last year, but it is hard for her to get respite for her daughter so she can travel.

4yrs is quite a long time isn't it, especially if it's hard for her to travel.

Is he just not bothered?

My husband speaks to his parents every week but is quite happy not to see them very often.

He shouldn't use you as an excuse though.

I think he is just not that bothered. But as her other son also lives in London now and has a family, I think she gets lonely.

I think it is a sort of trade off.

We live in London, where dh wants to live. We holiday in my hometown, where I would prefer to live. We cant afford to go two places. I have always said that he is can take the kids and go anytime he wants to.

We dont really get on. She always complains about me, and creates drama.

We went quite a few years without seeing ILs.

They have never been here.

It's as if when my husband said that we wouldn't be coming over they didn't believe it!

He does tend to go every year now, but I think it might be the break from us as much as anything

I'd be secretly learning their language as a nice surprise ;-)

Mine told me to pull myself together last week (i was ill)as I was expecting too much of her son as he was the only one earning any money !!
I did wonder whether he had moaned but I feel fucked off with the lot of them anyway