To be pissed off with this guy?

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

So, I've started seeing this guy. We've known each other ages, from school originally, we got back in touch and have started a casual 'thing'.

A few times he's ditched me when we've made plans. It's actually 3 times now.

We'll make plans and then he'll go off with his friends. Is it reasonable to expect that when you make plans with someone you should honour them unless there's a genuine reason why you can't.

My mum says that IABU because we're not together (my choice) but I'm of the opinion it doesn't matter. If you commit your time to someone then you should follow through and not just cancel when something better comes up.

I need perspective as I don't know if IABU.

I agree that it is rude.

Whether you are in a committed relationship or not is irrelevant.

Dump him and move on.

Tell him he's bloody rude and you won't be seeing him at all let alone shagging him until he finds his manners.

'Should' is a very subjective word, isn't it? You may think he 'should' honour plans made - but he obviously doesn't think that and nothing you say is going to make him into the man you want him to be. If its really your choice that you're not together as an item, then don't expect him to act as if you are. How do you know your idea of casual is his idea of casual? To some people when another says I only want casual they will take you literally to the point that casual becomes 'offhand'.

Its been donkeys years since I did 'casual', back in Uni days - but we just went with the flow no big promises no timelines etc - if we saw each other then we did, and had fun. If we didnt, then we didn't. When I eventually met someone and didnt want it to be casual - I just didnt go to him with the 'lets keep it casual' option. So he didnt have to try to 'read' what I wanted.

Anyway with your man you'd be best off accepting that if his ways are not for you. Perhaps you wanted more from him and thought you wouldnt get it, so you offered 'casual' as a step to a 'proper relationship' - I mean, it does seem odd to be thinking about a casual bloke to the point you'd want to put up a post about him, and be bothered that he doesn't stick to arrangements. If you're not an item then he very possibly has other arrangements that are a priority for him. Maybe best to leave him alone and move on, hopefully to someone more in tune with your expectations.

If he has other arrangements that are a priority for him why make arrangements with the OP then?

The issue here is that he cancels previously made arrangements, which is discourteous whatever the status of their relationship.

You're just not that into each other. If you were, you would want to call him your boyfriend, and he'd turn up when he said he would.

Unless it's ten inches long I'd call it a day.

If I had any friend who had cancelled plans to meet up at the last minute for no good reason, not once but three times, I wouldn't be making plans with them again!

Sooty he cancels the arrangements as hes not that bothered about the OP. Im sure we all know discourteous people in all walks of life, you could write reams about them all and it would fill up MN - ok so he is discourtesous - and? Do whats done with discourteous people in general, walk away and leave him to it when someone shows you they don't give a shit - just believe them. Then again Im at the inclination to even bother wasting brainspace on a too casual Mr Casual anyway...

Saucy it's not far off

He just came round and apologised. I told him I was angry with him and he said he understood why. He said he understood why I would want to end it but that he didn't want it to end and he was sorry again

Then I let him walk out the door without saying a word. God, I'm cold hearted.

On to the next!