To wonder why people have Christenings?

[PisforPeter]

If you are not going to bring your children to church regularly???

I had dd baptised as even though I am not a regular attender (although I did used to be), my faith was quite strong then (life events have now got me questioning more) bit the one thing I remember from confirmation classes that my Minister said was that the church was not a building, that was bricks and mortar, but was the people who attended, the the church could be a body of many or a body of one.

It's one of those things that is purely personal. If it's for schools fine, their choice, mine was for a set of values that I wanted for her that not only I but the wider family have instilled. I consider we've kept our vows (and yes, I can remember the date it was held on and it wasn't the anniversary of another significant event!)

People might be inclined to have their child christened because - "what if my atheist belief is wrong and they die too young to make an informed decision about religion and suffer the consequences".

DS will be baptised soon because I'm a Christian and it's important to me. I rarely go to church though, but this is not a reflection of my faith. It's purely down to my complete inability to drag myself out of bed to be there at 9.00 am on a Sunday morning. Every week I tell myself I'll be better and get there next Sunday.

Perhaps because they like what the church stands for and value the moral framework and belief system that has been an important part of their lives, but find the way that the church, as an organisation, conducts its business to be abhorrent.

I think attending church is a huge part of being Christian - that argument doesn't wash - how do you confess, or take sacrament or join in the wider church community, or tithe, or do good deeds with your church

You may think that, but does god agree?

Baptism without regular attendance won't get you far in applying to am oversubscribed school.

Good question. We had both DC baptised but neither DH or I is religious and we didn't get married in a church.

I think we wanted it to have been done in case there was a need for it when DC were older. Not for schools but in case one wanted to get married in a church and needed to have been baptised. Reasons like that. It seemed easier to do it when they were babies.

We enjoyed the chance to choose Godparents for them as we saw this as a way of extending their family. We picked good friends and I do think DC have a great relationship with them because they're Godparents iyswim.

Both DC were around 6-9 months old and we didn't have a big party. Just invited family & Godparents. So it wasn't a big present giving opportunity. Just a nice little get together.

In fact I was asked to be GM to our friends' daughter but had to have been Baptised, which I hadn't been. I ended up doing it with DS which was quite lovely and I chose MIL and FIL to be my GP which they were very touched about. The village vicar was so nice and came round to give me lessons every week before the baptism.

I was honest with him and said I was struggling with faith etc but was enjoying learning about it all and believed in many aspects of Christianity. Unfortunately he left shortly afterwards or I do think we'd have attended the family services with DC. We don't go at all now.

I personally find it strange to Christen a child and then not attend church. Me and my sisters (eldest sister Christened, me and the younger ones weren't as parents got lazy) went to church for a short period of time in the run up to my parents wedding as they wanted to marry in a particular church. To my younger self it was a disconcerting experience being dropped into that scenario with little explanation. It's very embarrassing to be the only children in church who don't know the lord's prayer, hymns etc. and we never felt comfortable or welcomed by the Sunday school teacher and other children.

Some people Christen their children as some kind of divine "insurance". My now Atheist step-Dad was born (in 1950's) with the cord round his neck. The priest was called during the (long) labour and he was baptised with the expectation he wouldn't make it and would go to purgatory(?) if he hadn't been given a quickie baptism... His family weren't exactly regular churchgoers or anything

i have christenings i just don't attend church again with them until they are better behaved! (he spent the entire time going who who who whaaaaaa!!!)

Some people hang onto old beliefs even though they no longer believe iykwim.

My eldest 3 have been baptised because I had a strong faith then and attended church. My youngest 3 havent as I am now atheist. My dad is atheist, but he hates that they havent been baptised as he worries (and admits it is ridiculous) that they will go to limbo when they die. I asked him why they would go there if he didnt believe that he, I or anyone else who has been baptised will go to heaven, and he didnt know. But it was drummed into him for so long that he cant shake it.

I dont know anyone in my (very large) family who had their child baptised and who had faith. They were all done because its what you do and to have a party. Same as my sister getting married in church. She is atheist and hasnt attended church since she was about 12, he is ex, anti, catholic. They still got married in a our picture perfect parish church and have never set foot in it in the 15 years since. If they ever have a child I am sure they will have a christening too.

We belong to a denomination that doesn't do christening, all my children were dedicated instead and will be baptised when they decide for themselves probably after they're 12. His family are not church goers and not particularly followers of the faith yet they got very passionate about the fact we were doing it wrong

You can be Christain without attending church though

Lots of Chistians don't have their babies christened these days. They prefer to wait until they can make that decision for themselves and, if it does happen, it will be in their teens maybe.

Lots of non Christians do seem to get their children christened however.

I don't really understand it myself.

After decades of being a Christian and being part of a church, we are now Christians and don't attend a church. Their are lots of people like us and I would say that it's a growing trend.

There are some wonderful churches out there, but many Christians have been hurt and somewhat damaged by churches that weren't so great. I find church a difficult subject, but love and appreciate my Christian friends.

It seems strange to me to christen your child when you're not religious.

However, stranger still is the first holy communion I'm attending next week. Child was originally christened as a baby. Then her mum decided to convert to Catholicism for no other reason than school for dd and because it would widen her own career opportunities (she's a teacher). So then we had that baptism and now the first communion. She's not religious at all. I find it a bit weird to use religion as a 'game-plan' like that, but each to their own.

You can't tell how "religious" a person is by looking, let alone judge their faith.

You can quantify proxy markers, such as frequency of observance. But Jesus taught against accepting appearance of piety as a measure.

The Church welcomes those who approach it and does not judge. For a christening, a preparation course may be required. But that is designed to assist a journey in faith - whatever that journey might be - not tell people that attendance at any particular rite is a requirement.

"The attention, the schools, the party and the presents."

Couldn't agree more. Sadly, it has little to do with religion for many and is seen as a way to start the babies trust fund by asking for money etc. Same goes for naming ceremonies bar the school part.

"What's the point of a naming ceremony? You've named your baby and got the birth certificate. Yet another excuse to sponge off people for presents."

We had naming ceremonies for our DCs. Didn't expect presents. Didn't get presents (well, only from a couple of people). Certainly spent a lot LOT more on the party than we got in in presents. Either we're just not terribly good scroungers or you are talking crap.

We had a non religious, made - up naming ceremony for our son - not the question I know but I want to say it was decidedly not for presents! It was to get our friends and family together, name some adults as 'godparent' equivalents, and make a public statement that we're a family and value the support and community we have. I had a wobble before it that it was all vain unnecessary fuss, but I'm so glad we did it. Yes we got some presents (some of the nicest were books that people had loved as kids) but the main thing was introducing our son to his community and it was lovely for the families too. I imagine the same thing applies for Christians having a christening.

I was christened but rarely step in church except for other peoples weddings an christenings. We didn't Marry in church because I felt by not going regularly I would be beig hypocritical by starting my marriage in church. And jut going so I could have lovely pictures. Parents and go arenas were annoyed at this. But it was OUR wedding.

If we have a baby we will probably feel pressure to have it christened as it's the right thing to do (so dm says). Can't wait for that conversation....

We're go-every-week Christians and didn't have our dc baptised, they can decide for themselves when older. Dd1 is 14 and thinking about it but I'd rather she waited a couple more years so it is a more mature decision.

My Gran was a bit bewildered by this, but parents didn't comment.

Because even of you aren't religious, church and religion is also a cultural reality for many of us. I am not religious at all. But ds was christened. He has godparents who genuinely take a wonderfully personal part in his life and that church service helped to create that.

For us it was about the community and tradition.

And for anyone who suggested it is about gifts - you clearly know much more generous people than us! Ds got a few toys and a nice photo frame! Which has a picture of him at his christening with his grandfathers in it!

until they secularise all state funded schools people will carry on christening their children. Also people who aren't that religious still kind of like a bit of pomp and ceremony and a chance to celebrate and show off their baby.

I was going to but when it came to booking I felt too hypocritical. I think I used up the nice country church day out credit for the wedding.

I had no intention of attending church with dd.
I think she should be able to choose her own faith and I don't think its fair on the regular church goers to highjack their Sunday service with my rabble staring on indifferently as they worship (no private christening ceremonies in my parish).

I wasn't christened and I am spiritual rather than a Christian, DH was christened and a militant atheist. I often regret the decision to marry in church for the same reasons. Just seems phony and rude to use the church for a nice day out.

what if my atheist belief is wrong and they die too young to make an informed decision about religion and suffer the consequences

Is this satire? I don't think this makes any sense. Do you know atheists who have cited this reason? Atheists don't have a 'belief' to be wrong. No true atheist would consider the ramifications of consequences (because they don't believe such consequences exist). And If a child dies too young to make an 'informed decision', what kind of god forces those consequences?