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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To call the police?

38 replies

EvilTwins · 10/05/2014 22:26

I need some opinions. I was threatened at work on Friday - bit of background... I'm a secondary school teacher. The threat was from a parent - she felt I had treated her DD unfairly threatened to come to school and beat me up. I didn't really think much of it but she then posted on FB that I'm a fucking bitch and that she was going to get me. My line manager told me about the FB post and suggested that I might want to call the police. I haven't got a copy of the post. I am worried about going in on Monday. She might have calmed down and got over it but she might not have.

Opinions welcome.

OP posts:

KenDoddsDadsDog · 10/05/2014 22:30

Call 101. They will at least speak to her. Had a similar situation where one of my managers was threatened in the same way and the police were great.

Flossyfloof · 10/05/2014 22:31

And will you have got over it? I doubt it. Yes contact the Police now. I would also contact your Line Manager and ask them to keep a copy of whatever was put on F/B - how did they know about it?, contact your Union and ask the HT/CoG what they are going to do about it. Are you OK?

IscreamUscream · 10/05/2014 22:31

Get it logged by calling 101 that is awful and you shouldn't be made to feel this way. I really bloody dispear of parents like that. What hope has her child got. You teachers do a fantastic job, she is an arse! Protect yourself and the school should be backing you up on this

Flossyfloof · 10/05/2014 22:32

You shouldn't be dealing with this yourself as far as school goes - they owe you a duty of care and it should all be taken out of your hands.

mineofuselessinformation · 10/05/2014 22:32

Your line manager should also have told you what the school is going to do to support you.
If you can contact them before Monday, do.
There is little point in you contacting the police if you don't have access to the post on FB I wouldn't have thought.

mineofuselessinformation · 10/05/2014 22:33

Sorry, should have added - the school should have some form of procedure in place for this even if it isn't in the public realm. Are you in a union? Contact your rep too.

UncleT · 10/05/2014 22:35

Good advice here - definitely get everyone involved.

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2014 22:36

By saying you should call the police they do seem to be palming it off as your responsibility to sort.

It was at work, how do they normally deal with threats of violence to their staff?

Shouldn't the school be reassuring that they're taking steps to make sure you're safe at work so you're not worrying about going in on Monday?

Original poster

EvilTwins · 10/05/2014 22:36

My line manager was told by another parent who had seen the post. She (LM) has a screen shot. She didn't show me because she was worried I'd be upset. I know the name of the parent and have looked for her FB page but she has high security settings. Also DH said he wasn't sure it would be valid if I'd "gone looking" IYSWIM. The post also mentioned the school by name and LM suggested that they might get police in on Monday anyway but she implied that I ought to involve them myself. Just not sure I have much of a case given that I haven't got a copy of the post. Is verbal threat enough to go with?

OP posts:

Flossyfloof · 10/05/2014 22:39

Contact her and make sure she keeps this screen shot. She didn't show you but told you about it - are you less upset about it, then? Pathetic.

ItStillLooksLikeRainDear · 10/05/2014 22:40

Ask your line manager to send you a copy of the screen shot so that you have proof.

Original poster

EvilTwins · 10/05/2014 22:41

I agree - really odd that she would tell me but not show me. Aldo, she knows me pretty well and knows that I'm hardly likely to crumple in tears at the fact that someone has been mean about me online... It's the threats of violence that bother me.

OP posts:

cheepsskram · 10/05/2014 22:42

Call 101 and report. Tbh it's disgraceful that SLT didn't do that as soon as the first threat was made.

IscreamUscream · 10/05/2014 22:42

Please don't wait until she carries out her threat before you involve the police, do it before. She sounds like a nasty piece of work who needs to be spoken to by the police and told to wind her neck in.

Wolfiefan · 10/05/2014 22:42

Can you call your union?
Contact the police?
Is the site secure? I've known parents to be banned from school property.

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/05/2014 22:42

Contact the police on 101, as your line manager have advised.

Icimoi · 10/05/2014 22:42

First thing on Monday, make sure that the school has taken steps to ban this parent from the premises.

WorraLiberty · 10/05/2014 22:43

Your line manager has a screen shot and the school was named

That's more than enough for her to get on and do her job

If she doesn't, make sure the head teacher does

I agree, it sounds as though you're being palmed off and put in the firing line.

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2014 23:47

Is your line manager encouraging you to go to the police now because she's worried the woman might catch up with you at home and she doesn't want you to wait until monday? (if I can say that without giving you something else to worry about)

She might not have shown it to you because she gave you a watered down version of what was actually said? Maybe she was trying to protect you a bit?

I'd just let the police decide whether the parent has crossed a line (which I'm sure they have), even if they don't think she has, they'll take it seriously and won't make you feel as though you made a mistake reporting.

CumberCookie · 11/05/2014 00:26

A think a verbal threat of violence is enough to contact the police on 101. You are only going to log your concerns and get advice at this stage, I really think you should do it.

hippoinamudhole · 11/05/2014 00:34

Key words to use when reporting to the police are alarmed, harassed and distressed

Original poster

EvilTwins · 11/05/2014 10:48

Thanks for all the advice. I called 101 this morning and spoke to a lovely police officer who took all the details and was very reassuring. She said as it wasn't an emergency, the details would be passed to the relevant dept who would add it to their list of things to follow up, but they should contact me within the next day or two. I've also emailed my line manager to find out what school is doing about it. The officer said that I should dial 999 if the mother comes to school tomorrow and I am at all concerned.

Still feeling a bit shaky but much better than I was.

OP posts:

BreeWannabe · 11/05/2014 10:51

You poor thing :(

I'm a secondary teacher too. You've done the right thing in contacting the police. If I were you, I'd see my HT first thing tomorrow and request in writing how the school is going to handle this. Do not let them minimise it. We should never be threatened at work, by anyone.

Original poster

EvilTwins · 11/05/2014 10:56

I've just had an email from my line manager to say that she and the HT (she is the Deputy) are meeting with the mum tomorrow. She said they'll discuss it first thing and catch up with me before first lesson (when I'm due to teach the delightful child of the delightful mother!) so it seems that they are taking it seriously. Phew!

OP posts:

Groovee · 11/05/2014 11:02

Hope that you get some sleep tonight and if any problems, I would dial 999 if the mother comes near you in a threatening or harassing manner.

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