Or should I do CC?

[GiveMeVegemite]

Basically my husband is adamant I should do controlled crying with DS2, 7.5 months. DS2 and I co-sleep in the spare room. He has always been a very needy baby. Milk protein allergy, reflux etc, but we seem to have his feeding under control now he is on solids and he is doing much better. He will sleep happily nexto me from 11-6am, sleeping by himself (after an hour of cuddling) from 7pm-11pm.

He can't settle himself at all, but just being nexto me comforts him all night. If he wakes up before I go to bed I just pick him up for 2 minutes, pop in his dummy and he goes back to sleep, not a problem.

The problem is that my husband won't co sleep with him, hence why we are in separate rooms. He believes that DS2 needs to learn the skills to self soothe. Also, I have 2 year old, who I have at home with me too and trying to get DS2 to sleep during the day can be a struggle, running back and forth trying to get him to sleep, whilst making sure DS1 is ok.

So basically am I being unreasonable to the rest if my family by allowing DS2 to be so clingy?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I agree with Pudding too. Everyone will learn to settle themselves, I don't know of many adults still being cuddled and fed to sleep by their mothers, I'd let him learn to do it in his own time.

YANBU but I would definitely look at ways to help him self soothe. An hour to settle, every night at 7.5 months is way too much and a massive tie IMO. At your son's age I would expect 7-7 with the odd night waking.

I used the baby whisperer with both of mine and found it helpful. I used pick up, put down a lot and it helped them learn to self soothe without leaving them to cry - It's very much 'I'm here for you but you need to figure this out for yourself'.

I am still in with ds since he was 10 mths - he is in his own bed by choice most nights but sometimes in with me- he didn't sttn till 2.5 and was a needy sleeper so cosleeping worked for us but we did in his room so it easier when it comes to him being on his own.

I think because you have been dealing with the night time sleeping and day sleeps, you get the final say.

Tell him no, you are managing fine and that you won't discuss it again for a few months.

Tbh his sleeping sounds fine, self settling can wait

Could you compromise here? Maybe attach Ds's cot to the side of your double bed and also start to teach ds to go to sleep without being cuddled by settling down and leaving for a while?
At some point babies need to learn to sleep without bf/ cuddles/ rocking and it's easier to do it before they can stand up and belly roll over top of cot, ime? They still need to know you are near, tho.
(we attached dd's cot to the side of the bed, meant we could cosleep but still have own space, iyswim)

I'm pleased to read so many positive words of encouragement. I agree with the majority that CC isn't the route I would go down !

I prefer the wait it out method, which seems like forever but in actual fact could only be a few months away.

You baby is just that, a baby, and will as many have said, not understand why you are leaving him to cry.

I like the idea of a co sleeper crib, perhaps you could do that in the spare room initially then transition to your own room? If you feel ready/ want to?

Also ask DH if he wants to take it in turns at the weekend to do the get up/ night wake, might well change his mind then!!

An hour to settle isn't really that long I don't think.

I hope you feel comforted that YANBU and you find a positive outcome.
Sending love x

Pudding - probably not! And I may be wrong about the age. in fact, thinking about it, DS may have been 4/5 months given the fact it was daylight at 7pm (not 7am as stated) when I started doing this and he is a very late December born.
But the fact is, it worked for him and us and he is not damaged in any way shape or form and has excellent sleep habits.
The fact is, CC may not work for some as it does for others but nobody will ever know unless you give it a try. If you don't fancy it, don't. But I would never tell someone else what NOT to do.

I did cc at 4 month's and it worked brilliantly. 22 months old now and he's still sleeping like a log even tho we have a 6 week old trying her best to keep him awake.

He also knows he's loved and that I will come when he needs me.

You don't want to do it tho so don't do it.