Playing at the table during weaning

[Dontfencemein]

This is more of an "Am I being foolish?" than an AIBU issue really...

I have been weaning my 8 month old for the past two months. Alas, it is not all plain sailing. Sometimes he is fairly keen, sometimes not at all, and more often than not we will have a whole range of responses over half an hour in the high chair. From what I can gather, this is not terribly unusual and I am trying to stay cool.

I give my DS something to play with when I am feeding him. A spare spoon or a plastic pot that can be chucked in the wash. This takes the intensity out of the session frankly, and stops boredom setting in for DS. I am trying to keep it fun and relaxed. I do offer finger foods at other times (not with toys), but DS does not quite get the self feeding thing yet.

My MIL has expressed horror at the fact that DS is allowed to play at the table, on the basis that he won't learn to concentrate on eating.

I don't agree with her, but does she have a point? What do other people do?

'food is for fun' up until about a year old. How many adults do you ever see who can't concerntate on their food because they are playing with spoons?!

Give him some finger foods to play with while you're feeding him.

That way he will be learning about textures, colours and smells and developing his self feeding skills while he's eating.

Children don't need to learn to concentrate on eating any more than they do to drink milk but, if you introduce the idea of playing while eating now, what will you do when he's older?

Eating should be about choosing to eat, not being distracted enough to allow someone else to shove it in your mouth. If you ever find yourself trying to sneak spoonfuls in stop yourself immediately because that way lie food issues that will make you miserable every mealtime for years.

I left table manner and rules til mine were much older.

I'd often show them books. Books that were wipe clean!

BLW .
Just read the book !

I second the idea of giving finger foods for him to 'play' with alongside whatever it is that you're feeding him but all of my charges I've had from 12 months have then begun feeding themselves with spoons and unless they're eating finger food- have not been given anything to handle. I have certainly not given toys and books etc at the table. You're asking for very long and drawn out mealtimes going down that route.

Sounds like you're doing fine op!

Ignore your MIL - what you're doing is absolutely fine!

I always gave my DC cutlery, pots, etc. to play with whilst in the highchair stage but never toys or books, just food related items, including food of course.

By the time they started sitting at the table they didn't need stuff to play with. I hate seeing children playing with toys at the table (unless it's when eating out and the food has either not arrived or has been cleared away). All those bits of food in little groves on cars or in dolls hair, yuk

I'd usually give him a bunch of foods to taste/play with as he wished, and then sat next to him chatting and eating myself (or just at our general mealtimes). That way we weren't really focusing on him eating, more like socializing/playing at the table with food available should he want to eat it.

Pretend you have other older children, you wouldn't be able to focus just on the baby then and they would be playing with spoons and whatever while you are dishing up, talking to each other and so on. 'Food available should he want to eat it' is the perfect attitude at this age.

'Food available should he want to eat it' is the perfect attitude at this age.

This ^ but not just at this age. It works well all the way to adulthood

Ignore your MIL - he's still a baby. Think about how he plays with everything else - he doesn't see mealtimes much differently (it's still fun, he's still exploring, when he's bored then he'll want to do something different).

I was frantically shoveling food in any way I could at that age so mine would be full enough to sleep through the night!

God, absolutely don't read the BLW book, it is full of drivel suggesting that if you don't BLW your child will end up never feeding themselves, fat and stupid (I may be paraphrasing slightly, reading that book gave me so many headaches during the early days of weaning).

DD still has toys at the table sometimes and she's 4. She just isn't interested in food that much, but she needs to eat something (I don't insist on much) and it helps. She doesn't have toys at the table at nursery and gets on fine there (ish!) so I don't see it as a huge problem.