to have been so cross at dh?

[EatsCakeForNoReasonWhatsoever]

Over the last couple of weeks we've had issues with an encampment of travellers. They've finally been moved on and at 9.15 dh says he was going to nip over and see how they'd left the place. I just rang him to find out where he was, quite concerned that he wasn't back yet. Apparently he'd bumped into two neighbours and they'd gone for a drink together.

I said he should have fucking told me as I was worrying. He aid he'd come right back but I pointed out I had no issue with him having a drink and to stay. I was just worried.

Wibu? I shouldn't have sworn should I? Is just that dh is usually v considerate with not much of a track record for vanishing unexpectedly so I got stroppy.

I'd have been stroppy, a quick text wouldn't have hurt. YANBU for worrying.

Only in that there had been a lot of trouble and violence around it locally and they've only cleared off this evening so it increased my cause for worry. So yes. Relevant, but not clear in my op. Sorry

He hardly disappeared for hours with his phone switched off...it's what, 30 minute tops and you got hold of him immediately...hardly a reason to be "so cross"

He'd been gone less than 30 minutes? of which at least 10 or 15 were expected? I think that's U to be stroppy, fair enough to be worried if you were - although perhaps a little soon, but getting annoyed that he didn't feel it worth worrying about was OTT, he had his phone and answered it. YABU.

Well yes, you kind of are being U. You're holding your DH accountable for your unexpressed expectations. You didn't communicate to him that you wanted him to come straight back/call you because you will worry. It may seem like common sense to you that you would be worried about his absence and so he would know to come straight home/call you but it obviously didn't occur to him. I tend to do this with my DH - have a silent expectation about something and then get angry with him when he doesn't meet it (because he isn't aware of it). I try to stop myself from doing it.

30 minutes! You keep him on a tight leash, don't you?!

Omg Rainbunny

Lightbulb moment here re Unexpressed expectations

OP yabu

Yrnbu. Something that should take 5 mins when there has been a lot of trouble, but takes longer gives you every right to worry. It would of been nice for him to text you.

I call mine when I get worried that he's running late. As long as he answers, I don't care where he is. I just want to know he's safe, otherwise I'll just be anxious until he gets back.

If he knows you worry, he should have called you to let you know he's running late.

I know how you feel. Mine works all over the place and is on nights somewhere on the side of a motorway this week.

He said, ring you later when he left on Monday morning. He didn't ring at his usual time. I rang him, I never do cos I am usually interrupting something that needs his full attention and both hands. Oh it got so late, 8.30 - 9.00pm (he is usually knackered and getting showered and hitting the sack at this time).

Then he rang - nights, he said. I've just woken up!

Oops. But that hour or so...... I had to keep myself busy!

You were a bit U, but given the circumstances it was probably just daft rather than controlling!

Forgettable - You're welcome :) Happy to share my painfully learned lessons!

Rainbunny

I get irritated if DH says 'I'm going to do x' and then disappears for way longer then comes home with a fricking law mower or something.
Just tell me roughly and then I won't fret!
(Unless you have gone to buy lots of wine. That's fine)

He was away for less than 30mins... Yabu! If he had been gone 2 hrs then you would have been right to worry and call but not after the short space of time.