Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my address to be private?

55 replies

ooerrmissus · 08/05/2014 18:10

At school pick up this afternoon, went to speak to DS1s teacher about a minor matter. As I approached the classroom I noticed a display of work on the wall. It was a creative writing piece in which the children had written a letter to a fictional character to ask them not to do something.

All the letters had the children's home address at the top.

I appreciate the kids need to learn how to set out a letter with address etc, but AIBU to think it is inappropriate for the letters to be put on the wall for all and sundry to see? I don't imagine there will be any potential stalkers or armed robbers prowling the corridors looking for the information but even so!

OP posts:
FatalCabbage · 08/05/2014 19:46

People who need to know get told. The little girl DS doesn't play with doesn't need to know - nor does her father, who kicked seven shades of shit out of DH for five years at school (that isn't why they don't play).

Original poster
ooerrmissus · 08/05/2014 19:49

DSs class mates do know where we live. They come to play.

I just feel uncomfortable that all the other kids could know. And their parents. And any prospective parents on a tour. And the cleaners, caretakers, maintenance guy, external marketing lady, visiting education specialists etc etc could see it. I'm not accusing them of being stalkers or anything. I just don't feel comfortable with it.

Texan accent crap, could probably manage Boston?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 08/05/2014 19:49

Ds3 had to take a photo of our house into class when he was in Year 1. I know some of his classmates lived in some serious fuck-off houses, think wings and grounds.

I found it a bit cringeworthy when we went in for parents evening and all the photos of the houses were displayed on the walls, where our more, er modest?, house was doing it's best but didn't really compare.

wooldonor · 08/05/2014 19:51

I can see your concern, at my child's school I've seen a contact list on the classroom wall with childrens addresses and contact telephone numbers. This would be available to anyone who goes into the class and I don't particularly want everyone to know where I live, all kinds of people visit the school I don't see why it's hard to understand why someone wouldn't want random strangers to know their address.

I haven't mentioned it at school for fear of being labelled as "that parent" but I'd be fairly sure that their are data protection issues (with the contact list not childrens work obviously).

Thebestpigever - I don't know what type of school your children go to but ime it's not normal to have a class contact list or to limit access just to parents and staff, at least not in the state schools I've had dealings with.

Bowlersarm · 08/05/2014 19:53

But why would it matter wooldonor if someone knew your address via a class contact list. What would you be expecting that could be so negative?

wooldonor · 08/05/2014 20:01

It matters to me because I choose not to tell randomers where I live, why is that odd? I don't want people knowing my business and where I live and my phone number is something I see as being my choice to disclose.

I know everyone doesn't think that way, I have no issue with you or anyone else feeling differently but I think the OP INBU.

Donttrustyoursil · 08/05/2014 20:03

We are told to protect our identity and shred anything with names, addresses and other info on there, so then I don't understand why it is ok to put them on the wall

Toughasoldboots · 08/05/2014 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinesAPintOfTea · 08/05/2014 20:07

I can understand the concern about parents who eat teachers Grin

Aside from that yanbu. When ds starts school I will happily give an email address or mobile number for distribution but my address is private because its a pain to change in the event of harassment.

WaitMonkey · 08/05/2014 21:34

I've only ever heard of a class list on MN. Op, YANBU. If only for the reason someone else has already posted. If there is trouble between dc in class. some patents may take it upon themselves to sort out. I'm surprised the school has done this to be honest.

MrsMoon76 · 08/05/2014 21:43

I deal with data protection issues and as boring and jobsworthy as it sounds this would actually be a data protection issue for me. Nobody walking into the school NEEDS to see your address on display without your permission - therefore it shouldn't be there.

wooldonor · 08/05/2014 22:05

That's interesting MrsMoon, as I said above I thought there might be data protection issues. How would you go about bringing this to the school's attention without causing any upset?

weatherall · 08/05/2014 22:16

I wouldn't be happy with this either.

Never heard of this 'class address list' thing before.

Finney2 · 08/05/2014 22:36

Anyone can find out your address at any time by going to the council offices and looking at the electoral roll. If someone really wants to find you, they can.

I honestly wouldn't give this a second thought. In fact, I think it's great the children are being taught the almost-extinct art of letter writing.

Toughasoldboots · 08/05/2014 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 08/05/2014 22:49

YANBU, and I wouldn't like a class address list either- tho they don't do them at our school.

FatalCabbage · 08/05/2014 22:55

No, Finney, because you can opt not to be on the full, searchable list. And I have. So only the electoral authorities (and the campaigning parties Hmm ) can access that data.

Wickeddevil · 08/05/2014 23:06

What Mrs Moon said & am amazed re class address lists. Don't they count as a database? which Means they can't be shared without permission.

No OP you are NBU

SeptemberFlowers · 09/05/2014 00:04

I wouldn't be happy about it either Angry

If you need to know my address, you'll have it. Other children's parents don't need to know thank you very much ! I value my privacy.

Friends have been a bit Hmm when they have snapped pics of DC and I have said I don't want them on Facebook. My child = my rules !

CanadianJohn · 09/05/2014 06:04

My address is in the phone book, if anyone cares to look. Probably a bunch of other places too, like the city directory. Who cares?

Fideline987654321 · 09/05/2014 06:15

YANBU at all.

The school must be mad. Ditto the school putting home addresses on class contact list (what's wrong with mobile number and email?!). There are all sorts of situations that could make this practice down right dangerous, including DV situations.

More prosaically, who wants the most neanderthal dad in the playground on their doorstep following some children's dispute?

Fideline987654321 · 09/05/2014 06:16

What's a city directory canadian? And how does it differ from a phone book?

Most people in the UK are ex-directory (unlisted) anyhow.

Delphiniumsblue · 09/05/2014 06:39

I can't understand the issue. It is not a secret where I live. I can't see that anyone in my child's school, who bothers to read what is on the wall, is a threat. I doubt whether many people read it word for word- I would just read the content of the letter.

ImAThrillseekerBunny · 09/05/2014 06:39

Anyone can look at the full electoral register in the council offices, although obviously it's in address order, so someone would need to know roughly where you lived or be insanely patient to find you.

Delphiniumsblue · 09/05/2014 06:47

I can find any address with the greatest of ease if you are in the electoral register. A click away in my computer.
That is why I can't see the issue. Either I look at the display and don't take any account of the address or I really want to know, in which case I don't need to use the display.