To not know how to make friends?

[Pugaboo]

Over the past few years, a number of my close friends have moved away, I have had a DS and we've moved house to the 'burbs. I now work 2 days a week.

I'm quite gregarious and not too much of a dick (I think) so I have made some mum friends who I see occasionally. (Most of my old friends haven't had kids yet or have returned to work full time.)

All my new friends seem to have closer friends with kids they've known for years and see all the time. There are a couple I really like but I feel self conscious about making too much effort in case it seems a bit Married White Female.

I feel a bit lonely during the week and also like I'm letting my son down, but I have no idea how to make better friends and can't work out how I've actually made any new close friends in my adult life except through work... Am I expecting too much? Am I actually a dick? AIBU?

Pugaboo. Sorry no advice but I am in a similar situation. I have recently moved and, while keen to make good friends (I hope we live here forever now), I am conscious not to 'gatecrash' others already formed friendships.

I am guessing that being friendly, accepting invitations, offering invitations for coffee, etc. will mean that in time I will be established and find a place in the village.

(I hope someone comes along with better advice for you as I am no help!)

Thanks Mocker. I do invite and accept invites (when I get them, which is rare) a fair bit - I just assume most people have something better to do...

I felt a bit like this after having dd1. She's nearly 3 now and things are much better. Keep going to local groups and being friendly. I found it a lot easier once dd1 was old enough to play, so I could invite other local mums back for lunch after toddler groups. It just takes time, I guess.

I've also found that in the few years since having dd1 several of my old friends have now had a baby, and it's like suddenly having them back as friends because we've got things in common again.

I'm the same, I'd just love a friend nearby that I can invite over for coffee and cake or meet up in town. Recently moved but not far and am finding this part really difficult.

Just to encourage you to just keep turning up to things. I was in this situation when I moved. I was living in a really rough area without any stable group so in the end I walked to a different area to try to find a decent group.
One day I walkws in and saw a women who had come for the first time to was best friend at first sight and that was nearly 20 years ago.