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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Read receipts

51 replies

Nennypops · 07/05/2014 22:10

i.e. Those emails where you get a message that the sender has asked to be sent notification when you've opened the email. Does anyone else find them vaguely irritating? To me it feels like they're trying to check up on me, and/or looking for an excuse to be offended because they can tell I looked at their email hours ago but haven't got round to replying. So I always click the button saying "Don't send" and feel childishly satisfied that I've foiled them.

Yes, I know I could set it so that read receipts will never be sent, but I feel I want to know who the control freaks are. I know I'm BU and irrational, and it's a total First World problem, but there you are.

OP posts:
PoirotsMoustache · 08/05/2014 10:47

You can set your email to 'never send read receipts', so that you don't have to choose 'yes' or 'no' ever again.

I put read receipts on all of my work emails, mostly because all our some customers like to deny any knowledge of information I have sent them Grin

BookieTubules · 08/05/2014 10:56

I had a colleague years ago who would send round an email joke first thing (yes, in those days when it was still a novelty!) with a read receipt attached - not the kind that would let you ask whether you wanted to send one or not. His sole reason was to find out what time we all got into work that morning. I used to wait until mid morning, or sometimes after lunch, read the message on preview pane, cut and paste it into a fresh email and then send that as though I was replying to his original, but somehow without sending a read receipt. The hassle of doing so was well worth it for the frustration it caused him not only not getting his blessed read receipt, but not knowing how I'd done it.

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2014 11:03

I have never had one and don't have the facility to do it when sending.

CeliaFate · 08/05/2014 11:28

It's hilarious that the senders of the read receipts are viewed as control freaks, when you read some of the lengths people go to, to avoid having to send it. Grin
I send read receipts, not always, but when I want an answer to something. To me, it's just an RSVP type of thing, a polite acknowledgement that the ball's in their court now so to speak.

fascicle · 08/05/2014 11:34

Never send them and always decline to give one on principle. If it's really necessary, there are less irritating ways to find out if someone has received something (like asking them).

CeliaFate · 08/05/2014 11:36

Doesn't that negate the purpose of an email though? Confused

fascicle · 08/05/2014 11:39

In what way?

CeliaFate · 08/05/2014 11:55

If you ask the person if they've received your email, either by phone or in person, then you may as well ask them in person or by phone the contents of your original email.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 08/05/2014 12:01

I always reject a read receipt. Always. They wind me right up.

Nomama · 08/05/2014 13:15

Like others I use them if they are part of my audit trail or I need to know info has gone through so I can get on with my job. I ask for both delivery and read receipt. That way I know if there has been a delivery error too.

If someone wants to go to such long lengths to avoid sending a read receipt back I would automatically assume that they were not up to speed with the task in hand and would raise the issue with them and their manager.

They aren't annoyances to some people, they are an every day part of communication.

Sorry, that sounds so very po faced Smile

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 08/05/2014 13:32

I loathe them. I used them once or twice when I had to cancel an event at short notice. I followed up the ones who didn't send a read receipt with a phone call to make sure they had the information and didn't have a wasted journey. Other than that, there is very little reason for anyone in my line of work to use them.

Nomama, I often send hundreds of emails every week. I assume that if I send someone an email they will read it reasonably soon and then they will reply when they can. If they don't, I follow up with another email or a phone call or a personal visit, depending on the circumstances. If I routinely asked for read and delivery receipts my inbox would be absolutely swamped. How on earth do you keep track of all the delivery and read receipts you must be receiving?

nauticant · 08/05/2014 13:49

Gosh! I hadn't realised these would upset people so much. I request read receipts if it's useful to have confirmation of receipt, for example on handing over a task when I've done my part, for uncertainty concerning the recipient (they might no longer be around), for time critical matters where I'm asking a person to do something by 5pm so I can ask someone else at 3pm if the first person doesn't seem to have picked it up, and for other stuff.

I'm quite happy to send read receipts to others if I can see it would be helpful to the email sender, even if it's just to settle their mind that their email has been received and opened.

nauticant · 08/05/2014 13:52

Ahh, but then perhaps this is to do with my circumstances of working in a global organisation with offices in widely differing time zones.

Nomama · 08/05/2014 14:01

But there aren't many, Mimsy! I only use them when really necessary. I don't have much desk time and I cannot follow up with a call or a personal visit.

And I file them in a pre-prepared archive folder - that way they don't take up my inbox space.

I really didn't know they were a problem for some people. They are just, well, normal! As is use of the little red exclamation mark to alert the receiver that this one is urgent or setting up an automatic reminder, if necessary. It's a work tool!

fascicle · 08/05/2014 14:37

If you ask the person if they've received your email, either by phone or in person, then you may as well ask them in person or by phone the contents of your original email.

Not if it's a long e-mail with attachments, which needs to be written down. I think it's unnecessary in most cases to check if an e-mail has been received. If the recipient doesn't come back, they can be prompted in due course. Anything that's really vital, you can always ask for confirmation within the e-mail or communicate by another means. I think routinely asking for receipts comes across as somewhat anal, although I guess there may be some work cultures where everybody engages in receipt requests.

Original poster
Nennypops · 08/05/2014 17:34

If someone wants to go to such long lengths to avoid sending a read receipt back I would automatically assume that they were not up to speed with the task in hand and would raise the issue with them and their manager.

But you don't have to go to any lengths. You get a box asking if you want the receipt to be sent, it takes no longer to click on "no" than it does to click on "yes".

I agree with fascicle, asking for read receipts routinely does come across as a bit anal Some people have their systems set so they demand these for every message - even if it's just a message from them saying something like "Thankyou", which I think is taking the piss as it imposes on the receiver the faff of saying whether to send the receipt, for no purpose whatsoever.

OP posts:
eurochick · 08/05/2014 17:37

I always reject the option to send a read receipt.

Nomama that does sound very po-faced.

SistersOfPercy · 08/05/2014 18:39

I'm on Mac, with Mac Mail there is an option once you have read the email to 'bounce' it back to sender. The mail then goes back to sender as a fatal error with the email address so essentially they think your email address is either wrong or no longer exists.

If I'm feeling particularly arsey I have done this Grin

Weathergames · 08/05/2014 18:50

Almost as irritating as CC Bandits who CC their line manager (or even worse your line manager) into
Every. Fucking. Email.

Topseyt · 08/05/2014 19:00

I have a tenant in one of my properties who has not paid rent this month. I needed to chase it up and I put a read receipt on the email I sent.

That was a couple of days ago, and I have heard nothing. Perhaps they clicked don't send, but it could still be bad news.

It is useful sometimes, but I don't use it unless strictly necessary.

intheenddotcom · 08/05/2014 19:06

We use them for important messages, where if someone is not marked as read they can then be informed by a runner about the urgent information e.g. children aren't allowed on field at lunch for x,y,z; children must go to the assembly hall in an hour because of x,y,z; there will be a fire drill at 2pm.

Very useful to save the poor office staff having to run around/phone everyone.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 08/05/2014 19:48

What about people who hit reply all to an email sent to hundreds of people? Especially when several other idiots colleagues also hit reply all. I particularly enjoy it when the emails go like this:

A: [Information-gathering email sent to 500 people in different departments who don't work directly with each other, asking for a reply to be sent by next Friday]

B to all: Thanks! We'll send this through next week when Mary is back from annual leave.

C to all: I don't understand why I've got this. I don't deal with this. I'm copying it to John Brown so he can let you know who you should send it to.

D to all: Here is our response.... [long detailed response which is only relevant to A, also copied to everyone else in D's department so they can see how incredibly quick and efficient she is]

E to all: Could you please stop using Reply All!

F to all: I agree! My inbox is full enough already.

B to all: Sorry! Won't do it again.

C to all: John, have your sorted this out yet?

G to all: Hi, I expect I'm being a bit of an idiot but I don't understand what this is all about! Can you explain it to me?

[Goes on for days and days]

AndreasVesalius · 08/05/2014 20:45

Oh I hate the Reply All thing more than the read receipt. We often get emails asking for comments on a student's behaviour and some people just have to 'reply all' to tell everyone how wonderful that particular student is for them. Strangely enough you never get any 'reply all' replies that don't make the sender look fantastic.

MrsSkilly · 08/05/2014 20:49

I always click that I have read the email and then smugly ignore it. Also agree with the PP that a mark as important requires at least 25 hours before acknowledging

Pimpf · 08/05/2014 20:50

I use them all the time. I'm sending out invoices, the amount of times people will claim to not have received them when I know they have. Even when it's marked not read, I at least know its been received.

It's annoying I know, but mean I get my invoices paid!