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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm at my lowest right now I needs a mn friend

24 replies

Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 20:33

I have lost my job was made redundant
I have lost my best friend after 25 years
And I have overcome a mental illness
And my dp and is about to lose his job I wander Aibu as to where are my friends have gone.

I have overcome us moving house so me and my family are no longer bullied and we have a new house so now am I going to lose it all because of pride.

OP posts:
MostlyMama · 07/05/2014 20:35

don't know what to say but my hand is here x

MsAspreyDiamonds · 07/05/2014 20:41

Oh I am so sorry. I dont know what what to say but I am thinking of you and I hope you get some professional advice regarding your financial situation.

Can your dh sign up to a temping agency like Manpower or Brook St while looking for f/t work?
www.brookstreet.co.uk/

Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 20:41

I really need a friend and trust me I am not one to reach out but I wish it could just be my turn. Xx thank you .

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 07/05/2014 20:43

Well done in overcoming MH problem, that is a triumph in it self.

You have moved to new house for the benefit of your family.

Losing your job sucks, and your DP but that's why we have a benefit system. Just make sure you are getting all the financial help you are entitled to. The direct gov website is fantastic for this.

One thing I must say is that if you feel like your MH is slipping go to your doctor for help.

Spinaroo · 07/05/2014 20:44

You are having a horrendous time at the moment-but you will get through it. One day it will indeed be your turn- and if you need some handholding or practical advice just now, you can absolutely get it here x

Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 20:46

He has parted ways with friends and has customers but it's all starting over again, in the meantime I have taken a job waitressing all hours will not see my children much but don't want to lose our house.

My dp works hard and I feel so useless if I don't get the job I don't know if I can handle more rejection but will because of my children and dp I would do anything.

He gave us the house to get us out of a bad situation and it's all gone wrong since then.

It could be worse I have him and the kids but I feel low all the people I thought were by my side have gone, that makes me sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 20:48

My my has been better than it was I have the ability of becoming numb but now it's all real.

If this was without it all I would lose it, but I have come this far I will not give up without a fight, it's harder than I anticapated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 20:54

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 21:09

Thank you to those who have held my hand it's really appreciated I know there are others that have more problems than me but it feels like I have know one I only hope this can be a new start and I can do this.

It's makes me cross so may people are finding it hard where is the help we all need right now I don't see the government helping those who need it we are not worthy of their help.

OP posts:
subtleplansarehereagain · 07/05/2014 21:14

Well done for taking the waitressing job, OP - it may not be ideal but it you are helping yourself and your family.

It will get better. Flowers

Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 07/05/2014 21:17

Thank you so much Subtle that means a lot to me, I feel so teary at the moment I hope I can become sociable again make some new friends that's how I'm looking at it and do good for my family and for me maybe it will help me be me again.

OP posts:
mytwoblackandwhitecats · 07/05/2014 21:20

Hold your head up, being made redundant is horrific. I have seen it compared to a bereavement and in many ways it is but with a sense of shame that doesn't (usually) accompany bereavement.

It doesn't last Flowers

ClashCityRocker · 07/05/2014 21:20

One day you will be able to look back on this and think 'shit, that was tough...I don't know how I got through that...'

Do what you need to do to get through the short term - give yourself some breathing space, if you can. Make sure to try and make sometime for yourself as well, because you are important too.

Sending ((((hugs)))

Fleta · 07/05/2014 21:21

You sound utterly brave and utterly exhausted you poor thing.

Thanks where are you OP?

Have a virtual hand x

Spinaroo · 07/05/2014 21:23

Make a list of practical things you need to do e.g ensuring you are getting all benefits/ tax credits etc. you should be. This will help you feel in control of a situation where some of that control has been taken form you.

Them make a list of all the positives- this will help you stay focused.

I agree you have already recovered from MH c

Spinaroo · 07/05/2014 21:24

Sorry- fat fingers posted too soon. You have already recovered form MH concern- you are strong and you will get through this.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 07/05/2014 21:38

Thinking of you. Things will get better. You sound strong underneath. Look after yourself xx

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 07/05/2014 23:04

Awww bless you Giveus - you sound like you are dealing with more shit than many people have in a lifetime, and dealing with it with strength and dignity.
Hold on, and hang in there, trite as it sounds, and if the thoughts and well wishes of a random internet stranger can help, you have mine. Good luck (though you don't truly need it, you have strength and determination, and your loved ones around you) and hopefully soon things will look brighter and get better for you and yours.
for you :)

Original poster
Giveusabreakplease · 08/05/2014 09:40

Thank you for all the kind words it means a lot thank you so much.

OP posts:
daphnehoneybutt · 08/05/2014 12:12

Hang in there OP. I am sorry I cannot offer better advice but know that you will overcome this and things will be good again.

A family member was recently made redundant - try to keep positive getting up everyday and doing something like walk helped them. Keep applying for jobs. They also rang a lot of creditors and told them the scenario to buy a bit of time.

It took them a year but now they have a great job. After seeing them bullied and shat on in previous job they are like a new person.

If you have debts a charity called step change can help you with getting a repayment plan together, and contacting people to arrange token payments until you can afford to pay again. www.stepchange.org/

Take care of yourself OP.

DoJo · 08/05/2014 12:54

You poor thing - it sounds like you are having a really tough time, but although might not feel like it, absolutely everyone feels like they are muddling through sometimes. You will have to do more muddling than most, but you are obviously a strong person and you will bounce back, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

How old are your kids? Have you tried going to your local children's centre? They might be able to help you meet new people. Or if your kids are school age, then start slowly by inviting their friends over - it could help you to meet their parents, which might lead to some friendships for you, but will at least keep you in the habit of chatting to people, and it will be good for your kids too.

Would it help to keep a photo of your kids somewhere close, so that you can gaze adoringly at it when you're having a hard time?

Good luck - I'm sure if you have any specific issues, people will be able to come up with suggestions for how to help with any practical things.

ICanSeeTheSun · 08/05/2014 18:19

How are you feeling today op, hope you woke up in a brighter mood.

spiritofthetime · 08/05/2014 19:32

During the tough times fair weather friends aren't seen for dust. I certainly found out who they were last year. Life will get better, OP. X

monkeymamma · 08/05/2014 20:17

Op can I say how much I admire you for overcoming your mh problems and striving for better things for your family. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep saying to yourself 'what if it all goes RIGHT', it will soon. You never know when something truly lovely will happen and when it's time for some very special people to come into your life as friends they will. Please hang on in there

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