To think it's obnoxious to take as long as you want when there are lots of other people waiting

[CruCru]

On Friday I was waiting for a ferry (I had missed the one I was booked on) along with a bunch of other people. They were very busy so only letting two or three "overflow" cars on each ferry.

There was a ferry employee answering questions and a crowd around him (mainly wanting to know whether there was any chance of getting their cars on that evening or if they should park and get on as foot passengers). One woman was engaging the poor man at length, asking a bunch of irrelevant questions and when he looked confused, said "Oh I just want to know more about your job". It came across as punishing him through passive aggressiveness.

She got quite narky when another woman said "there are a few of us who need to ask questions" and went ahead and asked her question. In the end I got onto a ferry four hours after the one I was booked for (and I was lucky).

AIBU to think that there is an etiquette where taking loads of time when others are also waiting is rude?

Really?

They've done studies and people take longer in toilets/changing rooms and so on if they know people are waiting. And, some people are arseholes. My 3 yo DD and I got pushed in front of (blatantly, a man near us said, "bloody hell, some people are rude") at the swimming pool today. Bizarre really, I just hope karma gets them.

They've done studies and people take longer in toilets/changing rooms and so on if they know people are waiting.

I think part of that is that you've been waiting so long, you might as well make it worth the wait.

I do see that but in this case, it wasn't that she had more than one urgent thing to ask, she seemed to want to punish the guy (and everyone else) for her not being able to get onto the ferry.

She sounds ridiculous.

YANBU

It's also positional value. Something is more valuable if someone else wants it and is waiting.

Kind of agree but always pack extra slowly at the till when I sense someone is rushing me

I get a move on quickly if people are waiting and being nice and patient. If someone is standing there tutting trying to shove me out the way though, I'll ask the cashiers life story and pack one item per bag.

People started off being patient then got fed up with her.

I do take my time in shopping queues, to the annoyance of the people behind me. I don't see why I should have to struggle to pack my bags as the things get whizzed through, try to pay and then walk away with my money wrapped in a receipt, badly packed bags, struggling to get my change into the purse whilst juggling it all.

So I pack all my bags before paying, properly and double bagged where necessary, pay and take the receipt out of the pile and put it into a bag, then my money away and purse into a handbag, then stack the trolley properly with heavy at the bottom, squishy at the top. I do smile and say thank you, but people try to kill me with their evil glares. Dunno why a couple of extra minutes is such a big deal.

But in your situation, where the time limitation makes a big difference, I can see why you might get frustrated.

Can you give us a rough idea of where you shop fan. I can add it to my list to avoid. Can't abide people taking hours to sort their shopping!

I feel your pain OP. YANBU. The worst offenders are the ones who want to chat to the checkout assistant at supermarkets when the queue behind them is so long you could see it from space

YANBU. I totally understand where you're coming from, and am amazed by people who seem to either not care or not be aware that they're holding loads of other people up. For me it's like a physical uncomfortablness if I am aware there is a huge queue behind me and I am taking longer than normal to do whatever it is I am doing at the counter. I am probably someone who takes it too far the other way though, I think I need to care less about what a load of strangers behind me think and put me and my own needs first, sometimes.

Can you give us a rough idea of where you shop fan

Not Aldi...

There is a lot of passive aggressive packing at our local Aldi!

When they are scanning they chuck it at you like the place is on fire, but when there is a queue and someone says "please use till 2", you load up and then stand there like a lemon for 5 minutes before they ring the bell so the cashier turns up. You can guarantee that the first person in the queue for till 2 will deliberately slow down!

I have to admit I laughed one time when the the cashier who had spent the time waiting for the customer to load the conveyor chatting to her colleague, and then another 5 minutes on top while were waiting. The man at the front took his time loading his shopping back into his trolley to the point where the cashier shoved everything at him and 2 bottles of whiskey hit the floor. The place stank, we must all have been pissed on fumes as we drove home, but it was worth it :o

I do shop in Aldi, they provide a shelf to pack on immediately opposite the till. I'd do the same if it were available in other supermarkets, but they don't, so I pack at the till. Takes me even longer when I am in a mobility scooter as I have to reach to pack the bags as disabled tills aren't at wheelchair or scooter height.

I used to get anxious about people behind me, move away quickly, then really struggle. One day I just decided it was something that wasn't going to bother me anymore as I'd rather not struggle just so someone gets through a minute faster. Being able to pack your bags and pay is only fair service I would have thought. People go round the shop at a leisurely pace, then want to rush at tills, I don't get it. A couple of minutes shouldn't make much of a difference overall?

fan if they want you to move faster then they should make loading/packing easier for you. A till that is wheelchair/scooter accessible is no bloody use at all if you cant reach your shopping.

Take your time, make your point, I wouldnt mind waiting :)

what pisses me off is doin a weekly shop n someone behind u saying can I go ahead of you I only have these things. I often do or even ask if they want to go ahead but last week I refused lady no 3 who asked to go ahead by saying sorry I have to get home too n she got in a right snot. sorry for high jacking rant over

So you'll be on time for the next ferry you book then OP?

It's something that has never occurred to me until this thread, the height of tills, the make the aisle wider so its easier to navigate on wheels, but they forget to lower the packing bit. Plus there is only one till with a wide aisle. I'm quite happy to wait to use it as I am sitting down and can play on my phone , but it would be nicer to lower it, wouldn't it. I guess other customers might not like that though. Scan your own bits are lower, but not wide aisle, perhaps making one of those wider would be the easiest solution.

First come first served? The purpose of a question is to get a satisfactory answer is it not?

When you say irrelevant questions do you mean like 'what made you want to work on the ferries?' 'What colour car do you see getting on the ferry most?' etc? if so yanbu but if they were sensible questions that just didn't seem important to you then yabu as she has every right to ask them and others may have needed those answers too.

So glad I don't have to buy in supermarkets, what a soul-destroying experience. Horrible that you can't talk to the girl at the till.

YANBU I've even seen people buy stamps for postcards at the post office and then proceed to write the message on the card while at the till when there is a queue behind them! Are these types of 'people' thick?