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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not know how to persuade my DH how to...

23 replies

mameulah · 07/05/2014 13:46

...sell his car that is taking up space that we need in the drive way.

Right, I am not going to vent and complain about all the reasons why it is time for the car to go.

Please, please, please tell me...how have you SUCCESSFULLY persuaded your husband to finally prioritize something that he doesn't rate as much of as a priority as you do?

Any top tips would be very gratefully received!

tia!

OP posts:
CrohnicallyHungry · 07/05/2014 13:51

Think about the positive consequences of him doing what you want. But it needs to be something fairly specific, so not just 'extra cash' but 'enough money to do x' or 'space that can be used for y'

CrohnicallyHungry · 07/05/2014 13:51

Like DH finally got round to doing some DIY jobs (that he has been putting off for years) so we could put our house on the market.

HecatePropylaea · 07/05/2014 13:52

If it is something that I actually need agreement about and can't just take care of myself, I make an argument that it is impossible for him to disagree with. Once I have his agreement in principle that something should be done, I just go ahead and do it.

recent tumble dryer problem. It leaks water all over the place and makes a horrible noise. He didn't want to fork out for a new one because it was still drying the clothes.

I asked him if he thought that it was energy efficient (no)
did he think that having to put a towel down on the floor was good for us, given that I have slipped 3 times and the kids several times also (no)
did he think that water leaking from it was good for the floorboards or fitted units in the kitchen (no)
did he agree that it would be better to get a new tumble dryer (yes)

he came home from work one day to find a new tumble dryer. Job done.

FauxFox · 07/05/2014 13:53

If he doesn't mind selling it but hasn't got around to doing it offer to sell it for him?

If he doesn't want to sell it not sure...

MoreSkyThanWeNeed · 07/05/2014 13:55

Unlimited blow jobs?

wowfudge · 07/05/2014 13:58

Sounds like my DP - I shall be watching this thread as I have tried to get him to part with it on several occasions! Not only can I not get my car on the drive (we live on a busy road so I'd rather it were out of harm's way), but I cannot use the garage for my car as I would have to perform a reverse leapfrog in said car to get into the garage.

Apparently garages aren't for putting cars in Hmm. Grrrr.

CrohnicallyHungry · 07/05/2014 14:19

I just read my previous post, and realised it makes me sound like a lickle pwincess who can't possibly get her hands dirty doing nasty DIY, even though DH has been putting them off for years.

Far from it, I am the DIYer in this house, but DH said he was going to do these jobs and it's the principle of the thing, dammit!

glasgowstevenagain · 07/05/2014 14:24

Centreparcs.......

Cornettoninja · 07/05/2014 14:36

How much would it cost to rent a garage? If it's not too much it might be a compromise?

glasgowstevenagain · 07/05/2014 15:11

We dont need it

It costs £X per month

I will start spending X per month on handbags and spas

Toodle pip

softlysoftly · 07/05/2014 15:29

Well when DP left a car to rot in garage space I needed for 2 years because he was going to "do it up" I gave him fair warning he either fecking well did it up OR sold it or I would do it myself.

2 months later he came home to a scrapyard tow van Grin

He still married me so.....

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 07/05/2014 15:59

I drop ideas casually and quietly well in advance of when I want something done, in the ensuing weeks I up the anti, by the time I want it done DH comes out with 'I've had an idea what do you think if I/we do..."

It's never failed me

AdeptusMechanicus · 07/05/2014 16:05

mameulah Find something he would like to acquire and then persuade him but make it seem like his idea to sell the car and use the profits to put towards the thing he would like to acquire.

fifi669 · 07/05/2014 16:16

I would like to offer advice.... But there's a bit of the painting in the loo I periodically remind DP needs doing as I can't reach.... I did the rest Sept/Oct time

To not know how to persuade my DH how to...
HecatePropylaea · 07/05/2014 16:30

I wasn't sure whether to admit this or not Grin but I have decided what the hell. I say to my husband look, do what you like but I am going to go on and on and on and ON about it until you go insane, so it's up to you really.

He knows I mean it, too.

softlysoftly · 07/05/2014 16:36

Hectate I am so STEALING that!

fifi arf

fillie · 07/05/2014 16:41

Rather than turn ourselves into nags, we can choose to get proactive and just do what needs doing? List it for sale / get it towed or whatever just let him know where he needs to be and when to do any signing etc. Then take a good commission!
If he doesn't want to sell it yet though you can't make him, you can offer alternatives.

Btw I'm possibly the biggest nag in the whole world and get very frustrated by my dh and his lack of ability to take the lead on anything that needs doing.
But then it's always easy to solve other peoples problems!

HecatePropylaea · 07/05/2014 16:44

naff off Grin I don't nag. I simply advise him of his likely future if he doesn't pull his finger out. Grin and I would refer you to the first line of my first post on this thread.

nag indeed.

Only amateurs need to nag in order to have their will done... Wink

HecatePropylaea · 07/05/2014 16:48

^
|

was teasing not a personal attack

(you have to clarify on here these days, they slap you around for looking at 'em funny Wink )

SquinkiesRule · 07/05/2014 17:04

I told my Dh that the place was starting to look like a junk yard with the two dead ones we had parked, I said that others had made comments. It still took him nearly a year. Then he found out he could get money for the scrap so got rid quickly. Maybe the money will motivate your Dh too.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 07/05/2014 18:35

hecate Grin at your personal attack.

All I can do is state that calm reasoning doesn't work tried it it fails

I like deadlines do it by xxxxx date or I will do it for you. Dh is still as stubborn as a mule over getting some things done.

sykadelic · 07/05/2014 20:43

I don't need to persuade usually. If I feeling strongly about something and he doesn't, then he'll just do what I'm asking and vice versa. It's a lot better than either of us being irritated.

If we both feel strongly about something, we'll inevitably compromise.

So in the car situation, if he refuses to sell it and i'm sick of looking at it, I would attempt to find a compromise.

  1. Put it in storage (out of his spending money - however you handle your income)
  2. Widen the driveway (ours is 2 cars wide and 6 cars deep)
  3. Re-organise the driveway (does he park first? Tell him to move the cars when you get home)
  4. Part the vehicle on the street
  5. Park it at a friend/family members
  6. Sell it

My husband hates selling his vehicles. If we don't buy the house next door (in addition to our house, not instead of) we won't have to get rid of any, but if we don't, then he knows he has to get rid of 1 of them because we only have space for 6. It's a pretty hard decision though because they all serve a purpose!

sykadelic · 07/05/2014 20:44

*If we DO buy the house next door we won't have to get rid of any

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