To be expected to wash three year olds scribbles from pre-school?

[Bibbedeeboo]

Im 6 months pregnant and work full time. OH is away in the US this week on business. My 3 year old dd attends the pre-school of an independent school. Today she scribbled with marker on a cloth tea towel (with a picture in it) which was hanging in the classroom.
I received a note with the marked tea towel from her teacher requesting that it be washed by my daughter (3 years old!). Clearly a three year old has little chance of removing stubborn pen stains and I wouldn't want her 'hand washing' anything with her sensitive skin even if he could.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking the teacher is barking mad?
I ran the Tea towel through the machine with a stain remover but the stains are still there.
Happy to replace it but cannot find the same one online (sold out).
Exactly how am I to respond to this note?
Not happy to scrub this clean / go beyond washing machine call of duty on the basis that a) I'm pregnant and already exhausted from juggling job, caring for little one and doing chores etc), b) think its crazy to expect that a three year old would be able to scrub away pen marks / have intentionally damaged something and c) not sure what the objective is since there are only a few pen marks anyway and the picture is far from ruined.

Anyone?

Many thanks!

You've washed it, as requested. Hand it in as it is ... stained but clean! Nowt much else you can do really.

Think that is crazy. Yanbu.
Would conveniently forgot all about it if it was me.

I would wonder why a 3 year was unsupervised with marker pens! It is lucky she didn't draw on a classmates post clothes.

How odd! Very barking - the teacher can have no idea of the capabilities of a three year old.
I also think the pre-school is irresponsible to allow small children access to non washable pens.

I would hand the washed one back with an apology, and ask my DD to apologise too. I would offer to buy a replacement for them if they would prefer.

Either ignore with dignity or .... If you feel up for it, hand it back with a quick "I have returned this towel and am frankly rather astonished that you expect me (your note suggested my 3 yo but that is ridiculous) to clear up something that is your responsibility."

Wtf springs to mind - your DD was in their care and they were lax in supervising her so this happened..... And they expect you (or her) to sort it...? I don't think so.....

That is just daft. They shouldn't have left a 3 year old alone with marker pens. It's their problem not yours.
Buy them a new packet of tea towels and some washable pens.

Why are you having to make up for the obvious lack of supervision on the teacher's part? You daughter was left in her care, she should have been being watched. I'd tell her next time she doesn't want something ruined, keep an eye on the children in her care.

I would think it was more a teaching your DD some responsibility for her actions? Is the preschool a Montessori?

I might have got my 3 year old DD to wash it in whatever way she saw fit, which would undoubtedly leave it less than washing machine clean, and hand it back to the teacher with a note saying "DD washed as requested". But probably I would just have machine washed it and returned it.

Unless there's something in the contract/school ethos that explains this departure from normal understandings of what 3 year olds might get up to with a pen, I would be a little put out with the request. I might ask where they think the responsibility lies for dammage commited while children are in their care and under their supervision.

I'm confused, so your dd drew on a tea towel and the school want you to wash it? Why? Does it matter if a tea towel has a pen mark on it? Is it some kind of special tea towel?

Many thanks for responses. It's not a Montessori. It's a pre-school that is part of a mainstream school, where we have accepted a place for her in Reception in Sept (she turns four end of Aug). I did chat to my dd about scribbling on the picture and was a bit surprised she did it at all as she has never done it at home and asks for paper when she wants to doodle.

I think they're putting slightly too much importance on a tea towel and not enough on ensuring 3 year olds don't have access to inappropriate stationery.

Send it back with a risk assessment on market pens

I really disagree with the responses on here. A 3 yr old should know not to draw on a tea towel surely. I think the teacher is asking you to help her take responsibility for her actions - you're being dramatic saying they expect her to scrub it. A teacher In a preschool cannot watch every child all of the time- they should already know some boundaries.

Dc did Montessori and I can see spills, that are Easy to clean up sure. But marker on tea towel? Daft at best. I'd hand it in as clean as you can get it and leave them to it. They IMO taking the message way too far!

arethereanyleftatall: Surely it's not a case of watching every child all the time, but more about permanent markers being left around for children to use.

OP: YANBU.

I like some of your suggestions and would love to ask the responsibility question but have seen how other parents who dare question anything have been treated (rather badly). I am already having second thoughts about the school for other reasons but feel trapped into continuing as we didn't apply for any state schools and other independents are totally full now.

If school wanting you to do this so your daughter takes responsibility for her actions, then they should spell that out and bear their share of the responsibility too. How do they know you will handle this well with DD? Wouldn't it have been better handled in class, your DD could have been asked to help a teacher wash it there to teach her we have to clear up messes we make (if that's the idea)?
I think the school is taking this far too seriously, it is a tea towel, right?! It isn't as if she drew across a school wall, but then, if she had, that really would have been their fault for lack of supervising.
Not to get too deep, but children do sometimes draw on things belonging to people they don't like!

I teach this age and often ask children to get paper towels and wipe a table if they've drawn on it purposefully, thus understanding consequences of their actions. However, I would never do this sending home a tea towel malarky- it's ridiculous, completely lacks immediacy so no real action/consequence link for DD. Plus it's just really petty. I would send it back and think nothing more of it (and hope DD has a more sensible reception teacher!)

They are just trying to make her take responsibility for her actions.I don't think they are necessarily expecting her to get the marks out, just teaching her that actions have consequences
Did your DD know it was a naughty thing to do?

No, she didn't realise it was naughty. She said she wanted to make it prettier:) I explained to her that she must ask beforehand in future if it is ok to draw.

Oh dear, I would be applying pretty quickly for a state school. Even a reasonable state school has to better than this madness.

Phone around all the local good primaries.

You seem to be seeing a lot of red flags - it won't be worth it, especially as you're paying for the privilege.

I agree with Nanny. When I taught in a private school we had to treat the parents with respect as they were paying such a lot of money. We had to make sure they got good value for their investment. They certainly didn't get sent home washing!

At the most I would imagine that a staff member would say something like 'Oh dear Mini Bibbedeeboo, we don't draw on tea towels do we? Drawing is for paper and the white board. Now we are going to need to wash this and get a clean one out.'

At the worst I can imagine that your DD has run off with said tea towel and is busy drawing on it while refusing to give it back to the teacher. But then I would expect the teacher to talk to you if something like that had happened rather than just send her home with the tea towel.