To feel anxious at the mere thought of making small talk!

[LittleMisslikestobebythesea]

I have to go to a dinner dance on Saturday, my husband is a member of a men's organisation (rather not say which one, but I don't particularly like the principle of it, but that's another thread!)

I hardly know anyone, and although he has invited a couple of people, I really struggle with one of the women as I find her very intimidating, and I don't really have anything in common with her, and feel she looks down her nose at me.

Anyway, to get to the point! I am basically going into a room full of strangers, and as a shy person who is also an introvert, I find the thought of making small talk terrifying!

My husband is the opposite, plus he knows most people going. He usually goes off and talks to people he knows, leaving me to it (yes I have told him I am rubbish at small talk!) instead of introducing me to people.

AIBU to feel anxious, or do I need to get over myself?

I know you lot will tell me straight :o

I hate small talk. I suck at it, and so do other people. So if nothing else, don't feel alone in that regard. I come with starter questions about movies/news/whatever and everything. People just give me one word answers. I don't know what to do from there so I just sort of wander off.

Me and my husband are the same way, he's the extrovert and I'm the introvert. He is very charming and gets along with everyone in the room. I just sort of hang around him at events and he'll introduce me to people. Most times he'll give me a bit of a prompt get the conversation going ("Oh! babycat likes to do xyz too, what were you doing the other day with it?"), make sure it's smooth sailing, and then wander off. Bless him. :)

I'm kinda hoping now that I have a baby it'll make small talk easier. I'd rather talk about other things with adults though, ya know?

I'd just tell him that if he wasn't willing to introduce me to people and spend a bit of time with me, I wouldn't go.

Then again, I hate parties and small talk, and the organisation sounds male-chauvinistic, so I'd probably just refuse to go anyway

Find out a bit of positive news about some of the others who might be there, and anyone you might have something in common with.

Small talk, after time, you'll see is preferable to an awkward silence and is often the only thing to be said for it. But it's best to go 'armed' with info and a jumping off point, don't expect inspiration to strike at the time.

Maybe sidle up to three or more people in a group and nod and go along with what they are saying, interjecting when you feel up to it, but otherwise maybe not with just two as they can take the view you are gatecrashing and just freeze you out, you never know.

Sometimes you can get stuck with a bore and then it's the other thing, you need a getaway.