to ask how what's the difference between a hyphenated and non-hyphenated double barrel name?

[doubledeckerbar]

DH and I plan to give our baby both our names when he/ she is born later this month. On a day to day basis, we are pretty sure we are only going to use one, though, which will probably be mine and which will be the second name of the two.

We are not sure about hyphenating, though. If we only plan to use mine on a regular basis, should we leave it out and just put down two separate names on the birth certificate? How does this usually work? Does double barrelling cause any kind of problems? Does anybody else have a DB name and care to share their experiences with me? Thanks

A woman I work with has a really "challenging" double barrelled name. Both she and her DH have 3 syllables in their surnames and one has a "double b" sound as well. She deeply regrets giving her DCs both names as they are very unweidy.

All I remember from school when this practice was very unusual is that we called the unfortunate kid "hyphen".

I have a db name. My 3 DCS have the same db name as does my DH (he legally changed it when we got married) at school my DCs are know as littlelost X - Y so initials rather than the full thing. Only problem I've found is that it sometimes doesn't fit on forms. If you don't have the hyphen you could just use the second of the names more easily as I suppose it would be classed more as an extra middle name.

Non-hyphenated are supposed to be posher, because they represent the joining together, equally, of two important family names.

You may find it affects where they come on lists - as a librarian, I file Dick King-Smith under K, and Frances Hodgson Burnett under B

So Double Decker-Bar would go under D but Double Decker Bar under B.

Non-hyphenated may create confusion whether it is surname or middle name

My younger children have none hyphenated db surnames and what always happens is the first one gets used by everybody else with the older one who has a hyphen the second one gets used.

I don't know why as I use both it's just what happens

We've gone non-hyphenated because we aren't married but will in a few years, and then I and baby will take OH's name on its own. She has both of ours for official forms etc so that if either of us take her to register for nursery or abroad where identification is important, there's evidence that she belongs to both of us. So say I'm Smith and he's Jones (we aren't) baby is

Mini Moom Smith Jones (officially)
Mini Moom Jones (informally)

So officially her surname is Smith Jones. But informally, we treat Smith as a middle name and just call her Mini Moom Jones.

but when we get married, she'll be Mini Moom Jones (officially).

My son has my surname as a middle name, and I see it as just that, and not as a part of his surname. I don't know how other people view it, however!

we have a hyphen, just to make in clearer that both names should be used really

Christ, the UK is such a faff!

DS is being raised abroad where it goes:
Firstname+surname+surname (no hyphen)

You can now choose which order of surname you'd like first: mother+father or father+mother, if you can't decide and you are faffing, the registrar will go with alphabetical.

So:
Me -Maribel Winterpark
DH - Freddie Falange
DS - Pablo Falange Winterpark (could be Pablo Winterpark Falange)

If DS marries Maria Garcia Fernandez, future dgc will be Santiago Falange Garcia (father's first surname + mother's first surname) or Santiago Garcia Falange.

Piece of piss

I have a DB name. Occasionally computer forms don't like the hyphen so my name ends up being stuck together. Eg Smith-Jones end up as SmithJones. As my name is quite long it then looks really long & people think its odd. My credit card has it written like this.
Quite often people will shorten it to eg S-J when talking about our family.

My four have a non hyphenated double barrelled surname. It is a nice name, has a good flow, but they get very irritated by it.

Everything from getting a doctors appointment over the phone to being in the right place alphabetically on the school register is just that bit more hard work.

DP and I are talking about getting married next year (we've only been together 20 years so don't want to rush into things), and the DCs are very gleeful about the idea of converting the first part of their surname into a middle name.

DH has his mother's maiden name as his middle name and got into a surreal row with someone who thought it was a double barrelled surname and accused him of trying to hide his identity.

I've heard that it's posher to go hyphenless too btw. And really posh to have three or more surnames.

My maiden name is non-hyphenated. I always assumed it was to do with 'poshness' as my GGM who started it was posh. People often assumed the first name was a middle name though, so I started using a hyphen.

I think Prince William has a friend who's obviously far, far posher than him called something like Ernst Drax Electrolux Anstruther Calthorpe Gough.

At Eton it must have sounded like Trumpton fire brigade's roll call: Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub.

I have a db surname. It was non-hyphenated but caused seemingly constant confusion on computer systems etc, so I've put a hyphen in now and haven't had any problems.

Apparently non-hyphenated is mega posh, aristocratic families, hyphenated is nouveau riche and poor taste. Can't remember where I read that though, probably some mega reliable source like Jilly Cooper or summat.....

My children have massive, unspellable and unpronounceable non hyphenated surnames compounded of my Swedish and their father's Bengali surnames

They seem to get hyphens imposed on them, and/or choose to hyphenate quite often in the hope of softening the pain.

Wouldn't you just end up using DH's surname like a middle name OP? I.e. Not very often?

Well, the class system is being dismantled here in S London where over a third of DS's primary school class had hyphenated surnames, due to modern non wedded relationships, truly revolutionary family set ups (non resident dad, 2 mums, etc etc) and / or feminist mums choosing not to adopt the father's name as sole surname. I'm sure that none of us count as nouveau riche, anyway!

DS has a hyphenated surname (a pretty complicated one, at that), and we made the decision because someone told me that unless there was a hyphen only the last name was the official surname, with the first one being a middle name that was being used as part of the surname. I am pretty sure now that that advice was wrong - but the hyphen does ensure that ther eis no middle name / surname confusion, and protects a little against people deciding to shorten it.

DS loves having both our surnames, he feels very strong about it as part of his identity and gets cross if anyone leaves one half off.

Oh wow my DC are mega posh! Admittedly they don't use the other one and its more a middle name... Actually odd because lots of my relatives (family history) used to give Mothers maiden name as middle name (not hyphenated).
DD2 insists she will change to just my surname when she is older though.

If you want both names recorded but only plan to use one then the best thing to do is have the name that won't be used day to day as a middle name. It'll be much easier when it comes to official documents matching up. I appreciate that doesn't seem important now but when your DC are older and need to apply for a mortgage it'll be better, trust me.

I say that as someone who went for a non hyphenated double barrelled name on marriage. It completely messed up my credit file and took a year to fix. I now have a hyphen so I don't have as many 'computer says no' encounters with bank staff.

We don't have a hyphen, but that means that my dds often get called by the last name as their surname, which drives me mad. Possibly it is because the first name is very uncommon and may get mistaken for a girls name, but anyway it annoys me when the school send home stuff with the first bit of the surname left out. They don't do it for other double barrelled children that I know, (I think it is just to annoy us actually).