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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think buying new car may be tempting fate?

29 replies

uptheauntie · 05/05/2014 07:45

SIL is facing the real possibility she may lose her driving licence. She had several penalty points for speeding, as many people do, but due to an unfortunate series of events she now has enough points that she really should automatically lose her licence. She is contesting it though, and without going into the reasons, I do agree with her. I'm only not giving the details as I don't want to out anyone. But she may well lose her licence. She is a professional.

She is going to court in 4 weeks time.

Spoke to ILs on Saturday and asked what they were up to. Going to help SIL look for a new car, as apparently her one is on its last legs. It isn't, it really isn't. DH did challenge them saying perhaps it might be best to wait and buy a new car before the court case is over. But he was told SIL needs a new car.

AIBU to think going to look and possibily buy a car when you are facing the real possibility loosing your licence is just stupid and tempting fate?

Shows to me a complete lack of awareness and ILs yet again thinking their children can do no wrong....

OP posts:

wowfudge · 05/05/2014 07:47

Leave them to it - if it's meant to be and she gets a new car then loses her licence then they'll learn a lesson. Your DH has pointed out the possible folly of the purchase. What more can you do?

londonrach · 05/05/2014 07:48

Don't get involved!

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 05/05/2014 07:50

Stay out if it

Keep your thoughts to yourself

Charlieboo30 · 05/05/2014 07:53

'She had several penalty points for speeding, as many people do, but due to an unfortunate series of events'

Really?! I don't have penalty points for speeding. In 99.9% of cases people that lose their licences only have themselves to blame! If they can't manage without their car they should think about that before committing an offence.

YANBU though. I know someone who's daughter racked up 12 speeding points and waited till 6 months were up which is the time you're supposed to hear from them in. Nothing came so daughter bought brand new car. Week later the letter came banning her for 12 months and with an extended driving test to sit again. Expensive lesson to learn...

Original poster

uptheauntie · 05/05/2014 07:59

I am keeping out, for sure, but just wanted to check whether my views were unreasonable!

The last points are nothing to do with speeding, but I cannot say anymore.

OP posts:

Helpys · 05/05/2014 08:03

She sounds incredibly stupid.
It must be frustrating for you and your husband to see your ILs dancing around her.

SocialMediaAddict · 05/05/2014 09:53

I've been driving since I was 18 - 22 years and I haven't had any speeding points. Nor has DH and most of my friends. I don't think it's common to get so many points. She needs to slow down.

Don't get involved.

EverythingsDozy · 05/05/2014 09:57

I also have no points on my licence. I find it easy to remain within the speed limit.
If the last points were unavoidable then fair enough (although I personally can't think of a situation where points would be unavoidable) but she already had points for something that was unavoidable so it's her own fault. If she hadn't been speeding in the past then these points could be negligible (in relation to losing her licence).
If she does get a new car and still loses her licence then more fool her.

AlpacaLypse · 05/05/2014 09:58

I haven't got speeding points. I've never had any. Neither has DP, or any of my sisters. One of my BILs picked up 3 way back when he'd just passed his test, otherwise nothing. Even complete arsewipe exBIL still managed to keep his licence clean. Between us we've been driving for well over a century.

Anyway, you've said enough, I'd leave it (and enjoy a little bit of schadenfreude when she loses her licence).

EverythingsDozy · 05/05/2014 10:03

That should probably read "was avoidable" although I can't tell because I've tied myself in knots with double negatives

kukeslala · 05/05/2014 10:24

Maybe she is doing it deliberately? So when she goes to court she can say but I got a new car and if you ban me I will also be loosing x amount of £?

ICanSeeTheSun · 05/05/2014 10:33

I haven't got any points on my licence which I have had for 10 years.

Don't know what being a professional got to do with it, and I hope she does lose her licence.

Pretty silly to get a new car when facing a ban.

specialsubject · 05/05/2014 10:58

not too worried about the car really.

just hope she is pulled off the road for a long time. Only crap drivers have lots of points, and there are no 'unfortunate events' that give them to you, just terrible driving. Which usually equates to dangerous driving.

let's hope she doesn't kill anyone.

Aspiringhuman · 05/05/2014 11:00

My Dad drove for about 50 years without points. Myself and my BIL have both been driving 18 years. My friend got points after a stupid parking accidents just after she'd passed her test, they've expired and she hasn't earned any more. So I don't think everyone does collect a lot of points.

I agree your SIL is daft to buy a new car but I also agree you should keep out of it. I struggle to have sympathy with her, she should at the very least learnt her lesson the first time.

ComposHat · 05/05/2014 11:08

By professional do ypu mean she drives for a living? If so she is being doubly stupid as in all likelihood she'll not be able to drive the car or pay for it whrn dhe gets the boot from her driving job.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 05/05/2014 11:10

Yes keep out of it, it won't end well, but do sit back and feel smug when she loses her licence and can't drive her shiny new car.

Or will she try and drive without a licence? Is she that stupid? Because it would also invalidate her insurance wouldn't it? Mind you she wouldn't get insurance without a valid licence, I assume.

revealall · 05/05/2014 11:19

only crap drivers get points

Not true. You have to be caught speeding which is different to not speeding. My ex used to finish his work and drive back from the airport mostly after midnight. He was freelance and lived 2 hours away from the airport. The motorways were empty hence 87 miles an hour was hardly dangerous although still illegal. He did get caught a number of times.In town he would always do the speed limit to the point of obsession though.

Aspiringhuman · 05/05/2014 11:23

It is true that only crap drivers get points. Sadly not all crap drivers get points because sadly they don't get caught. If you drive legally and safely there is nothing to get caught for.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2014 11:24

Points given:

Speeding

-Failing to stop after an accident -Failing to provide details after an acident

Driving while disqualified
Careless / Reckless driving
DUI
Driving a car which is not roadworthy
Uninsured

All are avoidable.

specialsubject · 05/05/2014 12:32

sounds like the woman is one of those who won't hear anything she doesn't want to. Let her buy a new car, she won't be driving it.

no such thing as fate. There is such a thing as dangerous driving.

Andrewofgg · 05/05/2014 12:46

kukeslala If that is the strategy it will fail.

OP I agree with the people who say stay out of it. And with the ones who say enjoy the Schadenfreude!

cardibach · 05/05/2014 13:51

Actually, it is possible to get 'caught' speeding when you aren't - I was, and both the car speedo and my sat nav agreed on 28mph. The ticket said 34. An acquaintance had the same thing happen on the same road, so I suspect there was a fault with the camera (mobile in a van). However, I couldn't prove it so I did the course and didn't have to take points. I think it is unlikely that those of you saying only crap drivers get points have never gone even 1mph over the speed limit. In some areas that is enough.
However, to get enough points for a ban means regular speeding and lack of care, so the OPs SiL probably is a bit crap.

Aspiringhuman · 05/05/2014 13:58

Actually cardi, I'm obsessive about keeping to the limit or slower if road conditions dictate.

Andrewofgg · 05/05/2014 14:06

I know (professionally) of a driver who got twelve points and was banned as a "totter", four lots of three, all for using a hand-held mobile. I suppose you could call her the last to get the message.

Sallyingforth · 05/05/2014 14:33

due to an unfortunate series of events she now has enough points that she really should automatically lose her licence

No sympathy here.
You don't get points due to unfortunate events. You get them by breaking the law. The totting-up system gives you plenty of opportunity to learn not to break the law, and if you continue to break the law you eventually lose your licence.

And there should be no exemption for someone who needs to drive for work, take a relative to hospital, etc. The more you need the licence, the more you should keep within the law. It's entirely possible.

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