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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I be feeling this way?

14 replies

Eden21 · 04/05/2014 21:20

So tomorrow I finish my university dissertation (getting it bound, so finally finished) and I wanted to celebrate with my boyfriend.

Myself and my BF has fatigue issues (I have ME and my BF has a brain injury). He got invited to his friends. Bf text to say he wasn't up for it so would stay home. I went to work as usual and he sent me a text to say it was his friends birthday and he felt bad so was going to go out. I was happy to hear this; he lets his fatigue sometimes get in the way of going out and socialising.

Anyway, before he went out he mentioned it would be 'manic' to which I replied 'Be careful, I hope you are going to be up for celebrating with me tomorrow because if not I'll be upset.' to which he replied 'is that an ultimatum?' I replied no and said have a good time.

Now I have a feeling tomorrow will be a wash out. Am I unreasonable for feeling slightly miffed!

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 04/05/2014 21:24

YANBU for feeling a bit disappointed, but if he doesn't feel up to it tomorrow then I don't think you can fairly hold it against him just because he went out for his friends birthday today. His friends are important too.

Original poster

Eden21 · 04/05/2014 21:26

No of course not, I'm quite happy he went out with his friends, he's really neglected them in the last year (when he was with his ex) it's just important to me so I suppose I'm disappointed as you said.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 04/05/2014 21:30

When you have those issues you have a very small amount of energy that you have to spend carefully.

He has chosen to spend it elsewhere. If course you can be miffed.

And very well done on getting your dissertation finished

Eebahgum · 04/05/2014 21:53

Eebahgum · 04/05/2014 21:55

Do you have one or more female friends you could call on for an impromptu girls night out if he's not up for it? Or could you celebrate together in a less energetic way? (Take away, bottle of wine, film of your choice?)

Original poster

Eden21 · 05/05/2014 12:05

I knew there was a reason I love this man, he went out and only had a few and has planned an amazing day!

OP posts:

UncleT · 05/05/2014 13:07

I really hope your dissertation is written better than your opening post.

wonderingsoul · 05/05/2014 13:13

Uncle...who pissed on your cornflakes?

Ynbu, but im glad youv had a great day, what did he plan?

WillYouDoTheFandango · 05/05/2014 13:15

In not sure I always dedicate the same amount of time and care to writing a post as I did to my thesis Uncle.

Glad you have a lovely day ahead OP, well done on finishing.

BearWithBearWith · 05/05/2014 13:16

Uncle-the op has ME. Do you go round telling people with crutches to hurry along?

BearWithBearWith · 05/05/2014 13:17

Oops-and congratulations op!
Enjoy your special day.

UncleT · 05/05/2014 13:19

Glad to hear that will. bear - non sequitur.

BearWithBearWith · 05/05/2014 13:35

What I meant Uncle was that the op has fatigue symptoms and I would imagine she put in considerable more effort in writing her dissertation than a post on a forum.

If someone has an illness which requires the use of crutches then they are not going to simplynbe able to walk quickly.

Illness/symptoms=outcome/ability

Original poster

Eden21 · 05/05/2014 16:33

Thanks everyone.

Forums are fun and a space where I can write and not have to worry about spelling or punctuation. I'm tired 100% of the time so really don't care if something is misspelt.

He planned a lovely walk, and picnic lunch. Off to dinner tonight as well

OP posts:

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