To think we shouldn't have to pay to receive basic support?

[Writerwannabe83]

I have a 6 week old baby who I'm exclusively breast feeding. It was very difficult from the off set and I spent about 2 weeks constantly crying and I always felt that something just wasn't right with my attachment and latch. I voiced my concerns to my ME and my HV, telling them about the problems I was having and despite observing me feeding they just kept telling me everything was fine so I carried on doing what I was doing.

Over the last 10 days things were gradually getting more difficult and so yesterday me and DH paid to have an appointment with a lactation consultant for advice because I just couldn't continue with what I was doing and BF was no longer enjoyable for me. She was absolutely brilliant and could see instantly where my problems lay (including a mild fongue tie in DS) and she taught me new feeding positions etc and I couldn't believe how easy my baby attached and that when he was feeding it was pain free for the first time in weeks. What she did was so, so simple that I can't believe the HV and MW weren't able to offer the same support, advice and practical help.

It cost us £100 for a 45 minute appointment and it angers me to think that BF support and knowledge from professionals is so dire that women are being forced to pay for such services just to get the help they need. It's drummed in to us how 'breast is best' and how poor the breastfeeding rate is etc but is it any wonder? Me and DH are fortunate that we could afford to pay for the advice and so it makes me feel frustrated that a lot of women who probably really want to breast feed are forced to give it up because they can't afford to pay for advice and help that should be given to women as a basic standard of feeding support!

It's just so wrong.

I would pay for this advice, I paid to have my dd2's tongue tie snipped privately, but it does make me wonder what HV are for. Mine failed to stop or help me correct my child's severe plagiocephaly and the neck problem that caused it, failed to diagnose tongue and lip tie despite seeing the terrible latch and pain and failed to help me when she was choking on food as she simply couldn't control her tongue.

These are trivial problems, but if a HV whose main purpose is to visit new mums and look after their babies can't give some advice on repositioning heads and breastfeeding, what are they there for? This is standard, easy, basic stuff.

It sounds like an utterly shit situation to have no accessto the pill and possibly no money for the map, I don't think I'd risk having sex if there was a chance I'd have to bring a child into the world that I possibly wouldn't be able to feed.

And i very much disagree with the idea that not being able to pay £100 for essential BFing support is in any way not taking responsibility for your child.

Putting yourself in the position where you are banking on free breastfeeding to nourish your child with no backup plan for if breastfeeding doesn't work or when the child inevitably needs more than just breastmilk is irresponsible.

YANBU.

It is a disgrace that the general extent of NHS 'support' for breastfeeding is saying that 'breast is best'. I gave up on asking for help from midwives and health visitors when the self-same midwife who had ranted on and on about the superiority of breastmilk at our antenatal class then dismissed my desperate call for help with 'well, you've EBF for 8 weeks, that's more than most manage, good luck with the bottles'. Bitch.
Luckily we did have the money and wherewithal to get a private Lactation Consultant sorted. One severe tongue tie snipped and we then went on to have several happy years of breastfeeding. It was really between the LC and the La Leche League that kept us going. No thanks whatsoever to midwives and health visitors.

You might feel differently if you were actually in the situation. Very easy to say what should be done when you are surrounded by choices and the ability to take those choices. I'm single, but i honestly dont think i would enter a relationship that wasnt going to involve sex. Would you?

"Putting yourself in the position where you are banking on free breastfeeding to nourish your child with no backup plan for if breastfeeding doesn't work or when the child inevitably needs more than just breastmilk is irresponsible."

It's not always a case of "putting" yourself in tht situation though. Circumtances can change massively in 9 months.

I would expect sex to be part of any romantic relationship, I probably wouldn't have a relationship with a man that didn't have 30 pounds to pay for the map ( rregardless of if I had that spare money.

We don't have tons of spare money, we live very simply.I was fortunate enough to breastfeed ds with no issues but I wouldn't resent paying a bit of money to get help if we needed it.

I wouldnt resent it either... If i had it. If it was a choice between electric and food for a fortnight then yes, i'd resemt having to pay £100 for something that could easily be done for free in the hospital before any problems arose.

Perhaps you could become a bosom buddy to give your new found advice to others for free? Spread the word, somebody might tell somebody else!

YANBU at all.

Having said that, chances are that there would've been some BFing support near you as well.
But I agree when you are frazzled with trying to feed a newborn and it's not going well, you are not likely to be best placed to seek out whatever services there might be.
It is much harder when different services are not offered by clients' address but by 'catchment' area; if you'd had your baby nearer to where you live, it might have been easier.

Glad it's now going better.

If those 45 minutes were dedicated to every BF mother at the very start of BFing there would be far fewer women struggling on with problems that are being overlooked by the professionals they see once out of hospital.

This.

If all women received proper support starting bf after giving birth, more women would bf successfully, fewer babies would suffer gastro problems requiring hospitalisation and the effect would likely be a net reduction in costs to the NHS.

Yes, I agree about early, easily accessible and informed BFing support, but there also has to be ongoing support later on IMO and IME.

What I was trying to say was that MW and HV do their job and it is not always their fault they are trained to a higher level or have the level of experience or expertise as a lactation consultant.

I am not saying that this is right, but that it seems how it is. Sounds like a separate service is needed that is more than than support groups etc as I know a few people who have seen MW/MV and seen to BF groups and still not had their lip tie or tongue tie spotted/recognised untill they have seen a LC.

Any changes that happen in the NHS need to come from the top and we should campaign for them, but don't slate MW & HV for working to the limit of their training & expertise.

Ye ongoing support absolutely essential aswell. There will always be a need for that, i do think less of a need though if real proper support was given to all at time of birth (well not whilst pushing but you know what i mean)

There's also somethkng that is so important about this kind of support being available at the start- once out of hospital and back to 'life' it was an effort to even remember to ring for any support i needed, and then if i did i would thjnk "well i dont want to be taking up people's time if it's nothing big. I'll see if i can fix it myself" and i would go online and google or MN and probably persevere. Older children to sort out, dinners to make and life just seems to take over. Whereas those precious few hours after birth you dont have anything grasping at your attention and you are in the 'zone' of asking for help so if it was offered as standard you wouldnt feel like you were putting anyone to any trouble.

£100 is extortion for 45 minutes.

If it was a bit cheaper, perhaps more people would use the service.

I really needed help with ds2, if I'd known I could pay for help I would have!

I went to my local breast feeding support group. The youngest other child was 10 months old. The mums had all been going 2-3 years and there was no support available, just mums drinking tea and toddlers running riot. There was two breast feeding support workers and it was all paid for by the local maternity service.

He was 8 weeks old before I could feed him without pain. I had fed ds1 till he was 2 with no problems so wasn't expecting it to be so hard.

I put in written complaint, a midwife took over the sessions and it is much better now. The previous bf support had just turned into a well funded toddler group!

Sorry, I should have said I agree with you op. I got a bit carried away with my story there!

YANBU at all and I have been saying this for years.

The message that "breast is best" is very strongly pushed to pregnant women - or was when I was pg a few years back.

That message is getting across - figures show that nearly all women start out trying to BF.

The problem is it's not sustained, and this is due to lack of support. Lack of support on post-natal wards, and at home.

The reason - telling women they must BF and giving them leaflets is cheaper than giving them the actual support to do it successfully once they actually have the baby.

I am sure there is a postcode lottery style scenario with BF support as well - I expect some areas are great, others (mine) not so much.

Thanks everyone for all your replies, they make for very interesting reading.

The only benefit of paying private is that in general you can be seen much quicker, I rang her on a Wednesday and she told me she'd see me the same day. Our local BF Peer Supporter works Mon-Fri and if you leave a message for her on the number provided she will get back to you within 48 hours. That's a very long time for a mother at breaking point with a screaming hungry baby, even worse if the problems arise on a weekend. And of course, they may call you back in 48 hours but there's no guarantee how long you'd have to wait to actually get an appointment with them.

I resent that we have to pay in order to get quick support but the truth is that I'd do it again if I was desperate enough. It's absolutely crap but I wouldn't feel like I had any other choice if I needed help and needed it quick.

To the poster who said I should have had my baby closer to home, the hospital is only 20 minutes away from where I live, it's just unfortunate it lies on the other side of the County border.

Yesterday I left a message for the "We'll contact you in 48 hours" Peer Support group and I couldn't believe it when only 8 hours later, on a Bank Holiday, a lady called me back!!

I am genuinely surprised and very impressed !!